that TC is a POS.
you can find them used for about $150. The inside of the case has a lever that sifts from 2wd to 4wd and the collar wears out. This collar may be worn out and may be binding up and not letting it shift properly.
Also, do not actuate the actuator without having it attached to the TC. If you do, it will damage it.
How many miles are on the truck?
That transfercase has a bad reputation for the oil pump wearing a hole in the back of the case allowing all of the fluid to leak out. double check this as yous may have done this and caused internal damage. Just a month ago I had this problem on my surburban and had the whole thing apart and rebuilt it, etc.
I never checked if it shifted into 4wd before the rebuild, but I did see noticeable wear on the shift collar. That was replaced in the rebuild and it now shifts into 4wd. This MAY or MAY NOT be an issue, just something to check out.