cruel but funny

strange1

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2005
Location
Elkin
this reminds me of someone I know...


A man had been drinking at a pub all night when the bartender finally decided to close up shop. So the man stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he’d crawl outside and get some fresh air to try to sober up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!”

“What makes you say that?” he asked, putting on an innocent look.

“The pub called—you left your wheelchair there again.”
 
ANOTHER

Three friends die in a car crash, and find themselves at the gates of Heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.

"When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" asks St. Peter.

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children’ lives."

The last guy replies. “I would like to hear them say, ‘LOOK! HE'S MOVING!’”
 
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