I’m going to be blunt. Don’t take this personally, but you (and your wife) need to hear and consider the facts objectively.
No, it does not fall on your or your wife’s shoulders to resolve. In fact, you cannot resolve it, even though you want to. Any attempts to further intercede will only result in stress and anguish for your family. Your BIL has rightly come to this conclusion and is protecting his family, as he should.
The End.
