I saw this on another BB and just coul dnot stop laughing so I figured I would share with others..
Yes it is Long but so worth it..
----------------------------------------------------
** Let's Raise Venison
I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
The first step in this adventure was getting a deer.
I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not
seem to have
much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up
and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4
feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and
toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and
transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They
were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed
up...3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from
the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and
stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I
would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me,
but you
could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I
took a step towards it. It took a step away. I put a little tension on
the rope and received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled.
There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it.
As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground,
it occurred to
me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I
originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much
stamina
as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly
as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It
took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the
blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.
At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted
to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
would likely
die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all
between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I
would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested
the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it
dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount
of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer
to have to suffer a slow death. I managed to get it lined up to back in
between my truck and the feeder...a little trap I had set beforehand.
Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving
up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years
would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my
wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
where
they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its
head...almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The
proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw
back
slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
minutes, but
it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though
you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it
busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left
hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their
hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an
animal
like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get
awayeasily,
the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive
move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a
bit so
you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such
trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a
different
strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run. The reason
I had
always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at
you is that
there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.
Deer may
not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong
and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me
right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed.
What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you
are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I
finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split
open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and
felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my
back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket
had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest
place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and
dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the
window and came running out yelling "what happened"
I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit
an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that
they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law
enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned
that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as
criminal. I swear....not wanting to admit that I had done something
monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was
attacked by a deer." I did not mention that at the time I had a rope
on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my
jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my
face where it had struck me there.
I asked him to call somebody to come get me...I didn't think I could
make it home on my own. He did.
Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted
to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare
thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to
describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could...I was
filling the
grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started
kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or
something.
EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the
co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in
the house when
they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they
filled their feeders.
I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I
have to
see these people every day and as an outsider...a "city folk"...I have
enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and
whispering "there is the dummy that tried to rope the deer".
Yes it is Long but so worth it..
----------------------------------------------------
** Let's Raise Venison
I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.
The first step in this adventure was getting a deer.
I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not
seem to have
much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up
and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4
feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and
toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and
transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They
were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed
up...3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from
the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and
stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I
would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me,
but you
could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I
took a step towards it. It took a step away. I put a little tension on
the rope and received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I
could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled.
There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it.
As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground,
it occurred to
me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I
originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much
stamina
as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly
as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It
took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the
blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.
At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted
to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it
would likely
die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all
between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I
would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.
Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested
the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it
dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount
of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer
to have to suffer a slow death. I managed to get it lined up to back in
between my truck and the feeder...a little trap I had set beforehand.
Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving
up so I could get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years
would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my
wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse
where
they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its
head...almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The
proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw
back
slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several
minutes, but
it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though
you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it
busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left
hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their
hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an
animal
like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get
awayeasily,
the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive
move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a
bit so
you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such
trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a
different
strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run. The reason
I had
always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at
you is that
there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head.
Deer may
not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong
and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me
right in the back of the head and knocked me down.
Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed.
What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you
are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I
finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split
open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and
felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my
back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket
had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest
place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and
dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the
window and came running out yelling "what happened"
I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit
an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that
they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law
enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned
that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as
criminal. I swear....not wanting to admit that I had done something
monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was
attacked by a deer." I did not mention that at the time I had a rope
on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my
jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my
face where it had struck me there.
I asked him to call somebody to come get me...I didn't think I could
make it home on my own. He did.
Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted
to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare
thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to
describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could...I was
filling the
grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started
kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or
something.
EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the
co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in
the house when
they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they
filled their feeders.
I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I
have to
see these people every day and as an outsider...a "city folk"...I have
enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and
whispering "there is the dummy that tried to rope the deer".
