Questioning career choices.

YJKrawlin

YJKrawlin

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 1, 2015
Location
Ayden, NC
Hey everyone, been here for a while and figured this is as good of an area to post as any. Fair warning this will definitely sound like a "My steak is too juicy; My lobster is too buttery", type of thread. I'm 33 and feel like i'm burning out at my job. I feel like i'm about as high as I can go and just not really feeling fulfilled. It's a hard reality to face because, well, it's a great job. I am a lead in an area where I monitor equipment at nights for now, start cycles, troubleshoot stuff to relay to mechanics, otherwise kinda just keep to myself, watch videos, try to kill time from 6pm-6am. If you're into sitting around, it's really a sweet gig. But it's a huge mental load most days and feels like i'm not going anywhere with my life. All that said, I live in eastern NC, working for a pharma company making just at 6 figures. I know this is great for the area. It affords me, or afforded me the opportunity to do a lot of cool things before I had my son, build a shop, a house, a cool bronco, etc. Now with kids, my mental capacity is stretched even more and the burnout feels real. I do miss the days of working with my hands, doing mechanical things, being challenged, and feeling like the sky was the limit. I don't know that I have much desire to be a supervisor, considering in the business I work and how their structure is, I would lose money going from hourly to salary. A hefty amount, but that is the next step career-wise. For those who have been in similar jobs, do you just suck it up, make the money and just feel that exhaustion? I keep feeling the urge to break out on my own and do....something. But honestly it feels like the market for anything is so saturated, I would be taking a huge risk for a reward that wouldn't even be remotely comparable. I understand there is security in staying in a position like i'm at, but can also see the writing on the wall as well as far as the companies future not being 100% guaranteed and a possible restructuring coming in the future. I am under the impression that there aren't too many positions you can branch out to and be making this kind of money in eastern NC without being some kinda of high level manager or director, maybe that is an incorrect assumption. As I said, I am aware this will sound like complaining about a problem that isn't there, but It's a topic that's weighing on my mind recently and want to see what others think. I've thought about getting equipment and getting into land clearing/landscaping possibly, welding/repair stuff. I'm not sure. I have alot of interests, don't mind going and getting certs, but at my current exhaustion level, without a clear plan, most of it feels like wasted effort. Anyways, that's my vent/rant. Feel free to ignore me complaining about a good life.
 
Make the money. Find fulfillment in other areas of life ...
Work is just that. Work. It's to make money so you can do the things that bring fulfillment.
The alternative is try something on the side as far as work goes, this if that don't work ... not much lost.
In the financial climate we have had for the last 15-20 years ... I personally would not leave a good job.
 
It sounds like some of that work time is more or less downtime (Watching Videos). From a financial perspective, you've got time to use a measured approach to a 'next move'.

Look at alternative career fields with that time, delve deeper into the ones that most pique your interest, If you can find ones that might be applicable at your current company, so much the better, you might be able to get the company you're working for to support you spending time on learning them as long as you can keep your current tasks under control too. May even get some tuition assistance that way.

For the physical/mechanical satisfaction, get that on your own time. Build things at home, learn to maintain your own systems in your house, you've got a shop, use it...

There's a great deal to be said for staying in a job that don't require physical exertion for your long term employ-ability. Stay fit of course, but when you can still do your career in a wheel chair, it can last a lot longer.
 
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I'm 47 and I've felt this way for a long time. So, you aren't more crazy than me, at least, lol. I've felt the need to go out on my own, but knew that I would have to do it part time for a good while before taking the plunge. I think that's what has truly kept me from doing it. Trying to raise a family while working full time and part time on my own thing seemed like something that would be miserable.

I think a big pill that's hard to swallow is the benefits. My wife only works part time, so there are no benefits there.

That being said, I'm looking to branch out sometime soon. One is graduating and the other will be in hs next year, so it will afford me some time in the afternoons since I get off work at 2.
 
Lizooki said:
Make the money. Find fulfillment in other areas of life ...
Work is just that. Work. It's to make money so you can do the things that bring fulfillment.
The alternative is try something on the side as far as work goes, this if that don't work ... not much lost.
In the financial climate we have had for the last 15-20 years ... I personally would not leave a good job.
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This is the best advice and a perfect summation of responsible life choices.

Since you make a good salary but predict a restructuring in the future, I would suggest learning everything you can about some of the other positions. This may fill some of the dead time and it's always good to be the guy that has the answers. With the turnover rate of employees today, a guy that knows how to perform various tasks with a wide knowledge base becomes a very valuable employee. I worked my way up to being the director of our Public Works department and the last few years did get very long and boring but, that's the tough part of being a husband and father, you trade your comfort for the comfort and security of your family.
 
justjeepin86 said:
I think a big pill that's hard to swallow is the benefits.
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This is a HUGE factor. my wife isnt working right now and just taking care of our young son. we did some figuring i would need to bring home after holding out for taxes roughly 3x what i bring home now to take the jump and be on my own.
 
take it from me if you want to do something different or start on your own, you need a plan. a year ago i hated my job, quit twice with the owner "not letting" me both times. he asked me what my plan was and told him i didnt have one that i was done. Best advice he gave me was to make a plan and tell him about it and then he'd let me quit. i made the plan and did everything up to the point of leaving. Then my boss got fired for unrelated issues, and i got moved up. I still have my plan its just turned from a 1 year plan to a 8-10 year plan.

Honestly you have the time to go back to school online and get a degree in something, if they had some kind of engineering degree on line thats what i would look into. people with practical experience will always out preform and get hired first.
 
I switched careers at 27 single with no kids, it was hard then, now that l have kids the benefits are keeping me in a less than ideal job, even one that I make less money at, but I’ve been researching side hustles for a while now and can’t think of one where the time/ benefit trade works out unless I do something manual labor. You are young yet, so something like trash removal or pressure washing would be a good place to start, get word of mouth, expand to having a crew, then you just manage a few people and the customers. As long as you keep a short crew and treat them well it could work out great
 
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Agree w/ others, @zuke pretty much nailed it.
Havig free time at your job now is a major blessing. Leverage that to your advantage and use it to get a leg up on the next step.
This isn't the economy to be bailing on a good job w/o a really solid plan.

Just to clarify one thing - you mentioned 6-6. That's a 12 hr shift. Certainly brutal and difficult on family life. Is this 4-5 days a week now? I'm guessing you're making a ton of overtime pay, which is why there'd be a big drop to go salary?

Part of the equation here is certainly the wrok/family time life balance, trying to get an idea of how much of that you also want / need to change.
Solid $$ is important, but you also don't get the time back.
 
Sometimes boring but good money is just a fact of life. I desperately wanted to be a full time firefighter. Went through academy and selection, but just couldn't take the pay cut. Our plan since high school was that Beth would stay home and raise the kids, so I couldn't jeopardize that. Ive reached that point at my job. Im now the go to guy for field amd install questions and problems. I can't go any higher in my current area. I could change it up and be a PM in the office, but its not much more money but a lit more responsibility and would mean riding a desk all day. Or, I take the jump and find something else. Ive been studying and learning for my CWI just to keep some doors open.
 
Thanks for the responses everyone. Definitely not just jumping ship without a plan and completely understand how blessed i am to be in my position. Like i sais, steak too juicy, lobster to buttery. Job is currently a 2-2-3 rotation on nights so ny first day off is usually burnt carching up on sleeping. 36 hours one week ans 48 the next. Off every other weekend. 2nd/3rd day and first day back is spent watching son right now so not a ton of free time to try something fully dedicated in my free time. Probably adds to my burnout and frustration but it is how our dynamic works right now. I have a degree currently, but it was just a "take whatever i have and give me something yo show for it" degree in global studies, with a minor in business management. Im not entirely against going back to school, just trying to feel like i have direction before just jumping in. Ever since our son was born i definitely dont get out in the shop much anymore and i know for sure thats adding to the restlessness, but unsure how to fix that with him at the age hes at. Feels like i just need to suck it up for a few more years until maybe he can safely join me out there or ride along if i try to start doing something on the side.
 
this is what I do:
make plans for the time off, research, get ready, and work the plan

Garage day, travel, go there, buy this, build this, chill with the kid, cook, line up a side gig, whatever.

Live for that. Every Monday morning when I'm back in the office, I am looking forward to my next 'me' time.

So when you leave the plant for some time off, you instantly forget about the stupid job and you are on a mission, so you get 'it' done and feel fulfilled when you do have to go back to the job.
 
YJKrawlin said:
Thanks for the responses everyone. Definitely not just jumping ship without a plan and completely understand how blessed i am to be in my position. Like i sais, steak too juicy, lobster to buttery. Job is currently a 2-2-3 rotation on nights so ny first day off is usually burnt carching up on sleeping. 36 hours one week ans 48 the next. Off every other weekend. 2nd/3rd day and first day back is spent watching son right now so not a ton of free time to try something fully dedicated in my free time. Probably adds to my burnout and frustration but it is how our dynamic works right now. I have a degree currently, but it was just a "take whatever i have and give me something yo show for it" degree in global studies, with a minor in business management. Im not entirely against going back to school, just trying to feel like i have direction before just jumping in. Ever since our son was born i definitely dont get out in the shop much anymore and i know for sure thats adding to the restlessness, but unsure how to fix that with him at the age hes at. Feels like i just need to suck it up for a few more years until maybe he can safely join me out there or ride along if i try to start doing something on the side.
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You will do better in the trades than with a degree anymore, save money and time going back to school and practice a skill in a needful area
 
The kid and raising them right is the new plan. Nothing else matters til that is accomplished. Steady work, not terribly physical and a schedule that is known week to week will be your biggest blessings. Your son is fairly young as I understand. Give it a few more years. Invest heavily in his development. It will be the proudest thing you will ever accomplish.

Been seeing a lot of trending videos on quietly backing down. Quiting or saying hard work time and effort aren't rewarded blah blah blah. Most folks just don't realize they never had priorities straight for the decisions they have made to get to the point they are in. Yes life isn't always fair. Yes a curveball is in the mix. Sounds like you have more comfort and too little attention to the actual hard work your already doing to achieve that bit of dull. Embrace the dull. Look deeper and find that meaningful existence outside it. That's the enrichment your missing. And again. Life happens. It will change up and get rough. Enjoy what "you don't have too" in this season.

Wish I had followed the same advice I received 25 years ago in a lot of circumstances.
 
WARRIORWELDING said:
The kid and raising them right is the new plan. Nothing else matters til that is accomplished. Steady work, not terribly physical and a schedule that is known week to week will be your biggest blessings. Your son is fairly young as I understand. Give it a few more years. Invest heavily in his development. It will be the proudest thing you will ever accomplish.

Been seeing a lot of trending videos on quietly backing down. Quiting or saying hard work time and effort aren't rewarded blah blah blah. Most folks just don't realize they never had priorities straight for the decisions they have made to get to the point they are in. Yes life isn't always fair. Yes a curveball is in the mix. Sounds like you have more comfort and too little attention to the actual hard work your already doing to achieve that bit of dull. Embrace the dull. Look deeper and find that meaningful existence outside it. That's the enrichment your missing. And again. Life happens. It will change up and get rough. Enjoy what "you don't have too" in this season.

Wish I had followed the same advice I received 25 years ago in a lot of circumstances.
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Watch hook with robin Williams this post is the plot of that movie
 
I'm the same age as you and in a similar spot, actually. The 'golden handcuffs' of a predictable job with good pay, good benefits and by all measures a good job is something that many people dream about having and shouldn't be taken for granted.

But.

When that job drains you to the point of not being 100% present with your family, not wanting to pursue hobbies and other things you enjoy, and you not enjoying anything about it then its due time to step back and evaluate. I feel like a jobs' worth has been a little oversold in media these days but there's a balance between 'take the licks and be happy with the paycheck' and 'my job is where I find myself'. For me, I've struggling to find the 'why' in what I do and its made me step back, take inventory and make a pivot within my current employer to serve a need I saw. As others have said, it sounds like you have margin at your job to do some research - use that time to your advantage to see what's out there or to pursue certifications to get you elsewhere. You may need a perspective change or you may need a career change - it never hurts to interview for other jobs to see what's out there.
 
"without a clear plan" That's my sticking point. Figure that part out before doing anything. As has been said, raise that kid the best you can, the personal reward is amazing. All that being said, I've been self employed since 1987. There's not too many moments that "what's next?'' isn't on my mind, be it upcoming work, scheduling, acquiring supplies, learning new practices to make things better or save some money, etc.,
I'm not even sure I could function with a job that's not demanding of me but I'd sure like to give it a try! lol
Stay put and make the most of what you have and make a plan for your future.
 
I can't give another man advice, I can only speak for myself. Three years ago I found myself where you are, actually probably 6 years ago. @jeepinmatt and I talked about it for hours for years.
For me, I settled on 'Comfort is a thief'...I began working a plan to get uncomfortable. 2/3rds of the way through my plan, God dropped a gift in my lap - accelerate my plan.
I jumped head long into discomfort. For the last two years Ive worked harder than I have ever in my life. Ive worked more than I ever had (and for those who know me, thats saying something - 90+hour weeks are normal these days)...but Im...mostly....content. And that's a phrase I couldnt say much the last 2 decades.
 
Here's just my personal mentality/ perspective when it comes to a job and it doesn't seem to be very common. Im not a lazy person but I don't have the "drive" to always be advancing in my career. Maybe it's because I was pushed up through the ladder and not by choice or decision of my own in a previous manufacturing plant. I started as just a general floor manufacturing line worker after the fall of 08/09 when I left the dealership. I was then put into research and development, then into supervising an entire production line, then over all first shift. Shortly after made production manager and ultimately having to release the guy who hired me to begin with, a whole nother story. At the time the owner of this company was a very "passionate" individual about the company he built and you just didn't tell him no. After his passing I just didn't feel I had the same goals for the company as his wife did and ultimately left that company to take a step back to just a supervisor role in the company I'm at now. I've been offered and even encouraged to move up where I'm at but I'm just happy where I'm at. I enjoy being more involved with the floor and the 30 adults I have to babysit. I've watched people leave above me including a boss who was seeking advancement similar to the OP where he just felt stagnant. I've just never been that way where I need the job to fill some sort of void. I just want to go to work, know exactly what I'm doing, and go home at 5 and piddle on whatever I want to do in the shop or around the house. I always joke and say that my next move will be another one down the ladder to team lead or just operator.
Again, not a popular opinion and some feel that not advancing isn't normal but as I sit here typing this after just getting off a 12hr fishing trip in the outer banks, I feel plenty content knowing I have a good job that I know well that will be waiting on me to get back to it on Thursday for 3 weeks before I'm gone another week to camp at the beach. I say this not to brag, but to echo what was said above. Life is short and time is not on our side. As someone knocking on the door to 40, I say continue doing what you are good at and can disconnect from when you clock out. Stack money and make memories with you family.

Signed: just a guy who doesn't care that he's "working for the man"
 
Silverado_Express said:
Here's just my personal mentality/ perspective when it comes to a job and it doesn't seem to be very common. Im not a lazy person but I don't have the "drive" to always be advancing in my career. Maybe it's because I was pushed up through the ladder and not by choice or decision of my own in a previous manufacturing plant. I started as just a general floor manufacturing line worker after the fall of 08/09 when I left the dealership. I was then put into research and development, then into supervising an entire production line, then over all first shift. Shortly after made production manager and ultimately having to release the guy who hired me to begin with, a whole nother story. At the time the owner of this company was a very "passionate" individual about the company he built and you just didn't tell him no. After his passing I just didn't feel I had the same goals for the company as his wife did and ultimately left that company to take a step back to just a supervisor role in the company I'm at now. I've been offered and even encouraged to move up where I'm at but I'm just happy where I'm at. I enjoy being more involved with the floor and the 30 adults I have to babysit. I've watched people leave above me including a boss who was seeking advancement similar to the OP where he just felt stagnant. I've just never been that way where I need the job to fill some sort of void. I just want to go to work, know exactly what I'm doing, and go home at 5 and piddle on whatever I want to do in the shop or around the house. I always joke and say that my next move will be another one down the ladder to team lead or just operator.
Again, not a popular opinion and some feel that not advancing isn't normal but as I sit here typing this after just getting off a 12hr fishing trip in the outer banks, I feel plenty content knowing I have a good job that I know well that will be waiting on me to get back to it on Thursday for 3 weeks before I'm gone another week to camp at the beach. I say this not to brag, but to echo what was said above. Life is short and time is not on our side. As someone knocking on the door to 40, I say continue doing what you are good at and can disconnect from when you clock out. Stack money and make memories with you family.

Signed: just a guy who doesn't care that he's "working for the man"
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This is truly a great perspective. Thanks for sharing.
 
Ron said:
I can't give another man advice, I can only speak for myself. Three years ago I found myself where you are, actually probably 6 years ago. @jeepinmatt and I talked about it for hours for years.
For me, I settled on 'Comfort is a thief'...I began working a plan to get uncomfortable. 2/3rds of the way through my plan, God dropped a gift in my lap - accelerate my plan.
I jumped head long into discomfort. For the last two years Ive worked harder than I have ever in my life. Ive worked more than I ever had (and for those who know me, thats saying something - 90+hour weeks are normal these days)...but Im...mostly....content. And that's a phrase I couldnt say much the last 2 decades.
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Is it safe to assume that the 2 decades of discontent coincide with two decades of taking care of the best interests of your family/kids, but now that the kids are essentially out of the house the focus can shift back to you? I would imagine 90+ hour work weeks while trying to be a dad would have been the thief then.

Edit: glad you are working your tail off now and enjoying it though!
 
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Ron said:
I can't give another man advice, I can only speak for myself. Three years ago I found myself where you are, actually probably 6 years ago. @jeepinmatt and I talked about it for hours for years.
For me, I settled on 'Comfort is a thief'...I began working a plan to get uncomfortable. 2/3rds of the way through my plan, God dropped a gift in my lap - accelerate my plan.
I jumped head long into discomfort. For the last two years Ive worked harder than I have ever in my life. Ive worked more than I ever had (and for those who know me, thats saying something - 90+hour weeks are normal these days)...but Im...mostly....content. And that's a phrase I couldnt say much the last 2 decades.
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I'm not sure I understand this one. That might be because there's a back story I don't know, or as you started you can only speak for yourself.

My question is, why is a 90+ hour work week good for you?

Not that I disagree with "Comfort is a thief" but to play devils advocate, Is there something wrong with going through life comfortable and content?

It leads me to the Question; What are we doing here? As People, what are we doing here? Why are we the one species the has to strive for that sense of accomplishment to create something? But that might be getting too philosophical. :)
 
"It leads me to the Question; What are we doing here? As People, what are we doing here? Why are we the one species the has to strive for that sense of accomplishment to create something? But that might be getting too philosophical. :)"

This. We were designed for many things. Work is central to survival but was never meant to be what sustains our inner self.
 
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