1099 VS. W2 Employee

DSM Turbos said:
Sounds miserable. Especially with a young baby and a mom trying to do all she has to do for them. You will get maybe 2 hours during the day of actual focus time, and I’m sure there are other things she needs to do also in that time.
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eh...dont know how organized the wifey is.

My SIL is a home mortgage underwriter for a major lender and WFH mom with her first baby. She says it works great. Feed baby, burp baby, baby sleep and she works for 2 hours. Then repeat and she gets an hour break and re-charge and back at it.
Everyone's different but it works great for them.
 
Ron said:
eh...dont know how organized the wifey is.

My SIL is a home mortgage underwriter for a major lender and WFH mom with her first baby. She says it works great. Feed baby, burp baby, baby sleep and she works for 2 hours. Then repeat and she gets an hour break and re-charge and back at it.
Everyone's different but it works great for them.
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I could see this possibly working. I don't know why I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach about going full time with this company... I just can't put my finger on it.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
I could see this possibly working. I don't know why I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach about going full time with this company... I just can't put my finger on it.
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You know my POV and SAHParenting - I wont repeat it unnecessarily.
Worst case scenario - I suspect she could always go back to the dental office job or find another equal one. No choice you make today has to be permanent. Heck chances are one or both of you wont even be in the jobs you are in today in the time it takes to conceive and gestate a child.

Is it possible you feel envious of the potential your wife could be at home and have more time with the kiddos than you do? I've seen that dynamic play out amongst some friends. It can be real.
 
I read the OP's update while walking with the 2-yo through the woods and listening to her talk to the dog and about all sorts of things... you won't regret having another child and you won't be able to imagine life without him/her. The logistics for children never made sense from a purely pragmatic perspective, but that's not why we had them. You said it yourself, God is good.

I will say, working with a sleeping infant is definitely easier than working with a busy toddler. Let's be real, though, none of it is easy. Some days are harder and some days just flow. Some days they are sick and you just have to sit down and be with them. You can work it out. Being with them at home has it's challenges, but you're with them. You get it all, and not just what's left at the end of the day.
 
trailhugger said:
I will say, working with a sleeping infant is definitely easier than working with a busy toddler.
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Ron said:
eh...dont know how organized the wifey is.

My SIL is a home mortgage underwriter for a major lender and WFH mom with her first baby. She says it works great. Feed baby, burp baby, baby sleep and she works for 2 hours. Then repeat and she gets an hour break and re-charge and back at it.
Everyone's different but it works great for them.
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And the problem is, its easy to focus on how easy it might be initially with that infant, but that doesn't last long and then they are that busy toddler that requires WAY more attention.
Curious to see how @Ron 's SIL is doing a year from now.
 
shawn said:
Trailhugger WFH and homeschools 3 kids. Totally doable if your schedule if flexible and you're self-motivated.
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To be totally fair to Oh-pee…not every woman is a badass over achiever like @trailhugger …I mean heck she even tolerates you :D:flipoff2:
 
Flexibility is key. My wife works 10-20hrs as the director of children’s ministry at church, with 3 kids from ages 2-6. I’m not sure she could handle any more, but that’s mainly due to my schedule. She was actually looking for a full time wfh gig…but I wouldn’t have been or was unwilling to be available when she’d need to find another 20hrs to log. If you have the bandwidth to step up and she has the discipline to schedule appropriately and the gig is flexible enough with the deliverables…go for it.

I will say though, sounds like you’re stretching yourself awfully thin financially if the wife is having to work a second job, plus adding another car note, plus the cost of raising another child.
 
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I won't say it's for everyone, but I'll just say what we did. We always knew my wife would stay home and always planned to homeschool, so it was no shock and most of the hesitation was gone when the time came. But when we decided it was time for kids, we started cutting our budget back and making it work on just my income. I won't lie, for a while it's was deer meat meals and we didn't even have Netflix (maybe why kid 1 didn't take long?) and everything was bare bones. Anyone that tells you it's not a sacrifice is either lying, or doesn't know they're lying. But it's worth every sacrifice to us. My wife loves teaching out boys, they get a real world education, we get more quality time with the boys, and the list goes on. But, we both drive older cars, we never have the newest stuff, always pinching pennies, and don't do anything extravagant.


All that to say, having a SAHP is great, but its all a trade off.
 
Ron said:
You know my POV and SAHParenting - I wont repeat it unnecessarily.
Worst case scenario - I suspect she could always go back to the dental office job or find another equal one. No choice you make today has to be permanent. Heck chances are one or both of you wont even be in the jobs you are in today in the time it takes to conceive and gestate a child.

Is it possible you feel envious of the potential your wife could be at home and have more time with the kiddos than you do? I've seen that dynamic play out amongst some friends. It can be real.
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I don't think I feel envious at all. I've always said that I couldn't be a stay at home dad or a work from home dad... I get stir crazy too easily. If I had to do it, I would but I don't think I would voluntarily sign up for it. Do I like the idea of my wife being at home with a newborn and being able to pick up our daughter everyday from school and not having to worry about daycare? Sure, but I also think it might be a little difficult as well and of course worrying about not contributing to her 401k and not getting that free money from her employer to match up to a certain %. I am just torn honestly. We've been talking about it and praying about it and we just aren't sure on which path we need to take at this point.

UTfball68 said:
Flexibility is key. My wife works 10-20hrs as the director of children’s ministry at church, with 3 kids from ages 2-6. I’m not sure she could handle any more, but that’s mainly due to my schedule. She was actually looking for a full time wfh gig…but I wouldn’t have been or was unwilling to be available when she’d need to find another 20hrs to log. If you have the bandwidth to step up and she has the discipline to schedule appropriately and the gig is flexible enough with the deliverables…go for it.

I will say though, sounds like you’re stretching yourself awfully thin financially if the wife is having to work a second job, plus adding another car note, plus the cost of raising another child.
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Financially, we are actually doing much better than we had been. She took on this "second" job just as a way for us to save more and it would be something if she wanted to work 1 hr or 25 in 2 weeks, it's totally up to her. She only works 4 days a week and wanted something she could do at night or on Fridays.
 
Honestly didn’t have time to read every response so I might be saying the same thing.

It comes down to what do you want in life. Do you want another child? If so then make it work. If you are unsure if you want a second child then put it on paper with pros and cons. One thing to consider is how much does your wife make and how much is daycare, does it even make sense for her to work if it is only going to pay for daycare.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
I Sure, but I also think it might be a little difficult as well
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Nothing worth having is easy. Life isn't supposed to be easy.
'Life ain't always beautiful; but its a beautiful ride.'
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
Financially, we are actually doing much better than we had been.
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Which is great and should be celebrated...but that doesn't mean you're not still stretched thin, or setting yourself up for failure with the noted variables. If it were me, and it's not, I'd endorse the the WFH gig, pay off your note...she has 6 months worth of experience at the new role. At that point she should know if it's something she wants to do. SAVE the payment so it can be applied to the car. it 3 months, start trying for a kid. 9 months later, the kid arrives. Take on the new car note then, use savings as down payment. You’d be 18 months in and a heck of a lot more stable than trying to do it all now. That would be my plan at least.
 
If you want to have a kid, you just do it. It's a bit like Mitch Hedberg's take on baked potatoes:


By the time the baby's here, who the fuck knows where you'll be. A lot can change in 9-12 months.

If you go through spells where you decide you "deserve" a nice vacation or "need" a new car, that's on you, not the baby.
 
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