Halloween came early.

[UncleWillie]

I was driving my Suburban down the road this morning, and I heard a child's voice come from the back of the truck. This concerned me since the kids were in Steph's car behind me. Thinking I had imagined it, I kept driving. However, everytime I hit a bump, I heard it. I listened very carefully, and I could make out the little demonic voice say, "do you want to play with me?" Since I did not I said no. The disembodied toddler voice kept answering. After a while I saw the monster, a little plastic house that activated when shaken. Relieved that the ghost of baby Beelzebub had not inhabited my truck, I carried on. The house was turned off.

I got back home, walked to the Cramper, and unlocked the door. Then I heard another baby hellspawn asking the same question. I looked around to see if the haunted house had followed me. It had not. The ethereal question repeated. I looked around for holy water, a cross, or a wooden stake. I was out of silver bullets. I stepped between the conexes, over a chair, and looked up the hill. Again the phantasmic kiddie voice asked if I would like to partake in recreational activities.

I spun around, and was confronted by the junior poltergeist. The purple toddler chair asked again. I did not want to play, and I considered seeing how far I could throw it.

Having kids is God's punishment for having had sex.