- Joined
- May 24, 2005
- Location
- the ghetto of winston-salem
HILLBILLY HUMOR
While 'possum hunting, two WV ridge-runners begin to discuss moral values:
Bubba: "I believe marriage is sacred so I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married. Did you?"
Ricky Don: "Yea I did, but that wuz before I heard she was your fiancee"
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A little boy says to his father, "Teacher sez I'm smart. Where did I get my smarts?"
Father replies, "you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still got mine."
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A doctor examines Misty Dawn, then takes her husband aside, and says,
"I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," replies Joe Bob, "but she cooks good and don't talk much."
___________________________________________________
An old WV hillbilly goes to the local "Spirit Woman" to get a curse removed that he has been living with for 40 years.
The old hag says, "you will have to tell me the exact words used to put the curse on you.
The old man replies, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
___________________________________________________
It's nearly impossible to solve a Redneck murder....
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
___________________________________________________
Jimmie Sue calls Delta Airlines and asks, "how long it'll take to fly from Wheeling to San Francisco?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," says Jimmie Sue and hangs up.
___________________________________________________
The front door has fallen off again so Bubba decides to try something besides baling wire and duct tape. He sends his wife, Mary Louise, to the hardware store for hinges.
At the hardware store Mary Louise sees a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she is waiting for Joe Bob, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer.
When Joe Bob arrives, Mary Louise asks, "how much for that there teapot?"
Joe Bob replies, "That's silver and it costs $100"
"Mercy, that's sure a lot for a teapot!" Mary Louise exclaims.
Then she proceeds to describe the hinges that Bubba wants, and Joe Bob goes to the backroom to find them. From the backroom Joe Bob yells, "Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary Louise replies, "No, but I will for the teapot."
havw a good weekend
While 'possum hunting, two WV ridge-runners begin to discuss moral values:
Bubba: "I believe marriage is sacred so I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married. Did you?"
Ricky Don: "Yea I did, but that wuz before I heard she was your fiancee"
___________________________________________________
A little boy says to his father, "Teacher sez I'm smart. Where did I get my smarts?"
Father replies, "you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still got mine."
___________________________________________________
A doctor examines Misty Dawn, then takes her husband aside, and says,
"I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," replies Joe Bob, "but she cooks good and don't talk much."
___________________________________________________
An old WV hillbilly goes to the local "Spirit Woman" to get a curse removed that he has been living with for 40 years.
The old hag says, "you will have to tell me the exact words used to put the curse on you.
The old man replies, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
___________________________________________________
It's nearly impossible to solve a Redneck murder....
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
___________________________________________________
Jimmie Sue calls Delta Airlines and asks, "how long it'll take to fly from Wheeling to San Francisco?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," says Jimmie Sue and hangs up.
___________________________________________________
The front door has fallen off again so Bubba decides to try something besides baling wire and duct tape. He sends his wife, Mary Louise, to the hardware store for hinges.
At the hardware store Mary Louise sees a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she is waiting for Joe Bob, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer.
When Joe Bob arrives, Mary Louise asks, "how much for that there teapot?"
Joe Bob replies, "That's silver and it costs $100"
"Mercy, that's sure a lot for a teapot!" Mary Louise exclaims.
Then she proceeds to describe the hinges that Bubba wants, and Joe Bob goes to the backroom to find them. From the backroom Joe Bob yells, "Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?"
Mary Louise replies, "No, but I will for the teapot."
havw a good weekend
