JOTD

Green ford

Green ford

Active Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2005
Location
Raleigh when not on the Beach Fishing
OK I stole this from another site but just loved it.....


Pres. Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.


"Hello? President Obama?" a deep southern voice said,

"This here's Archie down at Joe's Catfish Shack in Charleston, SC,

and I am acallin' to tell all y'all up there in Washington

that we are officially declaring war on you folks."


"Well, Archie," Barack replied,

"this is, indeed, some very interesting news.


How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moment's calculation,

"there's me, my cousin Harold and my next door neighbor Randy

plus the whole dart team here in Hooters. That makes 8 of us!"

Barack paused.


"I must tell you, Archie, that I have one million men in my army

and they are waiting to move on my command."


"Wow," said Archie, "I'll have to call you back."


A few minutes later, Archie called again.

"Mr. Obama, this war is still on.

We managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"


"And what equipment would that be, Archie?" Barack asked.

"Well, we got us a coupla combines, a bulldozer and Harry's tractor."


Obama grinned and sighed...

"I must tell you guys, Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks

and 14,0000 armored personnel carriers and I've increased my army by one and a half million since we spoke a few minutes ago."

"Lawdy mercy!" said Archie, "Lemme get back to ya."


A few minutes later, Archie called back.


"Mr. Obama, I'm sorry to say it,

but we have had to call off this here war we been talkin' 'bout."


"Well, Archie, I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack.
"Why the sudden change of heart, if I may I ask?"

"Well, I tell you, prez, it's like this," said Archie.
"We've sat ourselves down and had a chat over our sweet tea

and we jus' come to realize that there ain't no way we can afford to feed two million prisoners!"

SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN.
 
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis to whom women will flock." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers, continue reading....

... ... ... ... ... ...

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife

Moral of the story: Women think they're so smart. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!
 
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