Tom@Hilltop_Machine
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2005
- Location
- Rural Retreat, VA
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to
determine whether admission will be granted.
One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each
applicant did on his or her last day of life.
The first applicant of the day explained that his last day was not a good one.
"I came home early and found my wife lying naked on the bed.
She claimed she had just got out of the shower.
"Well, her hair was dry, so I checked the shower and it was dry too."
I knew she was up to some hanky panky and I began to look for her lover.
I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips.
I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a plant pot.
He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes.
On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar
chest and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress overcame me and I suffered a heart attack and died.
The clerk thanked him and sent him off to the next office.
The second applicant said his day was the worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building.
I managed to grab onto the railing of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived but as I looked up I saw this huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way, but failed and I was hit by the chest and killed."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directed the man to the next room.
He was still giggling when the third customer of the day arrived.
He apologized and said, "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as that of the fellow before you".
"I don't know", replied the man.
"Picture this- I'm buck naked, hiding in a chest of drawers.."
determine whether admission will be granted.
One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each
applicant did on his or her last day of life.
The first applicant of the day explained that his last day was not a good one.
"I came home early and found my wife lying naked on the bed.
She claimed she had just got out of the shower.
"Well, her hair was dry, so I checked the shower and it was dry too."
I knew she was up to some hanky panky and I began to look for her lover.
I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips.
I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a plant pot.
He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes.
On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar
chest and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress overcame me and I suffered a heart attack and died.
The clerk thanked him and sent him off to the next office.
The second applicant said his day was the worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building.
I managed to grab onto the railing of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived but as I looked up I saw this huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way, but failed and I was hit by the chest and killed."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directed the man to the next room.
He was still giggling when the third customer of the day arrived.
He apologized and said, "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as that of the fellow before you".
"I don't know", replied the man.
"Picture this- I'm buck naked, hiding in a chest of drawers.."