Tom@Hilltop_Machine
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2005
- Location
- Rural Retreat, VA
I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and I noticed what was obviously a burglar sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden. Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly.
He then dug a grave and put the body in it and covered it. Astonished I got back into bed.
Carol, my lovely wife said, "Warren, you're shaking, what is it?
"You'll never believe what I've just seen," I said, "that son of a bitch next door still has my shovel."
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool, and orders a double-shot of 'Jack Daniels'...
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you want to
hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent!
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says:
"Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair- given that you are blind,
you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No… not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."
He then dug a grave and put the body in it and covered it. Astonished I got back into bed.
Carol, my lovely wife said, "Warren, you're shaking, what is it?
"You'll never believe what I've just seen," I said, "that son of a bitch next door still has my shovel."
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool, and orders a double-shot of 'Jack Daniels'...
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you want to
hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent!
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says:
"Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair- given that you are blind,
you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No… not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."
