JOTD

Tom@Hilltop_Machine

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 31, 2005
Location
Rural Retreat, VA
A balding, white haired man walked into a jeweler store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said.

The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'Sir...There's no money in that account.

''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.'
 
#62
 
One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer's, and every single morning at 9 a.m. he knocks on my door and he asks me if I have seen his wife. Which means, that every single morning at 9 a.m. I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer's, that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving, I’ve have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it, just to see the smile on his face.
 
Husband and Wife Christmas Shopping
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."

He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…

"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.

"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."
 
A good ol’boy had too much alcohol at a party one night and was pulled over on the way home by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one.

Just as the trooper was about to slap on the cuffs, an accident in the opposite lane took his attention, and he ran in that direction to help.

The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, quickly drove home and went to bed. He was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door. Standing in his doorway were two state troopers. "Are you Mr. Johnson?" they asked.

He admitted that he was.

"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?"

Again, the man admitted that was he.

"And what did you do then," the troopers asked.

The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.

"Where is your car now?" the troopers inquired.

The man answered that it was in the garage.

"May we see the car?" asked the troopers.

The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage. Inside the garage was the state trooper's car.
 
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