My neighbor is an idiot, is yours?

My neighbors are all fantastic, y’all make me feel like I am missing something. Of course there’s a good bit of distance and creek bottoms between us but still.

Now when we lived in Smithfield, we had a doosie. We lived in a nice early 70s quiet suburban neighborhood with mostly older people. But, like always ,there has to be a pimple on every prom queen.

Down the street a piece was a rental with some hood goblins. They (of course) had pitbulls. Well they got out on a Thursday and came tearing up into our front yard and killed my daughter’s kitten while she screamed and watched.

I was a Snapon dealer and was in Goldsboro. My wife went down there to speak to the woman and get the kitten back as they had ran off with it. The woman cussed my wife like a rap star and denied the whole thing.

These dogs were serial escapists and had terrorized the neighborhood and killed multiple pets. The dog catcher had been dealing with them for months.

Sunday morning, my dog woke me up barking. I stuck my head out the back door and those 2 dogs were trying there best to get into the fence. I stepped back to my bedroom, retrieved my bedroom AR and shot them both at 40’. I called the police and waited. Meanwhile the shots had awakened the whole neighborhood.

Hoodrats came down and threatened every imaginable action. Police did their thing and that was that.

Fast forward a year.

I am sitting on my back porch and see my neighbor’s double chainlink gate doing weird things. I walk over as she isn’t home and one pitbull is standing there watching the other one with his head stuck through the double gate and trapped. The rod wasn’t in the ground and the double gate was held together with a rubber bungee. They were trying to get to my neighbor’s toy chihuahua.

I yelled and and the not stuck one ran at me teeth flashing. I picked up a brick and started yelling at it about the time the stuck one got free. I managed to chase them off and the hoodrat man called them home. I yelled at him to ask if he wanted his new dogs shot. He asked if I wasn’t the MFr that killed his old dogs and when I said yeah, I added I would kill those 2 as well if he didn’t keep them at home.

They ended up taken by the dog catcher.

Damn I am glad to be where I am now.
 
Last edited:
ponykilr said:
My neighbors are all fantastic, y’all make me feel like I am missing something.
Click to expand...

Technically speaking I get along with all my neighbors, as well as most of the people in the neighborhood I know by name as I have basically lived here my whole life. There are a few exceptions of course. And even my 'idiot' neighbor I get along with, have known him since probably 1994-1995 ish, not sure exact when he moved in. He just never ceases to amaze me the dumb things he does. I have one more story I haven't shared yet lol, although, texting me to tell me people were cutting my trees down probably tops the list of idiot moments.
 
I hit the lotto. I have outstanding neighbors. We’ve pretty much turned into family. There is one lady at the end of the dead end that feeds all the feral cats. There’s a recycling center not too far away and all of those cats come to her porch to eat and they’ve migrated to all of our houses. I can’t put a bag of trash in the truck without it getting shredded. That’s the only complaint. I have an Airbnb directly across the cove from my house. Every now and then we get some rowdy ones staying, but it’s temporary.
 
I've got a drunk as a neighbor. If he's working in the yard, he's drunk. He's passed out multiple times on the mower with it running. He's run over our ornamental evergreens with the mower while drunk. He think's he's everyone's best friend but none of the other neighbors around can stand him. He stops and stares at my wife while she's running the backpack blower. She let him have it after that. I've had to tell him multiple times not to come over when we are in the backyard with our girls. Multiple drunk phone calls where he cusses me up and down while I laugh followed up by uncontrollable sobbing apologies. Cops know him by name as there have been several cases of DV there between him and his wife.

I keep expecting to find him dead in the yard as he's had multiple open heart surgeries but still drinks and smokes like a freight train.

Other than that, lots of good people in our neighborhood that are just a short golf cart ride away.
 
YJJPWrangler said:
I've got a drunk as a neighbor. If he's working in the yard, he's drunk. He's passed out multiple times on the mower with it running. He's run over our ornamental evergreens with the mower while drunk. He think's he's everyone's best friend but none of the other neighbors around can stand him. He stops and stares at my wife while she's running the backpack blower. She let him have it after that. I've had to tell him multiple times not to come over when we are in the backyard with our girls. Multiple drunk phone calls where he cusses me up and down while I laugh followed up by uncontrollable sobbing apologies. Cops know him by name as there have been several cases of DV there between him and his wife.

I keep expecting to find him dead in the yard as he's had multiple open heart surgeries but still drinks and smokes like a freight train.

Other than that, lots of good people in our neighborhood that are just a short golf cart ride away.
Click to expand...
When I was growing up, my parents had a lake house...next door neighbor would get drunk & mow about 4-5 yards, minimal damage.

I loved it as a 12-year old who supposed to be mowing...just a little trimming & it would pass muster.
 
YJJPWrangler said:
I've got a drunk as a neighbor. If he's working in the yard, he's drunk. He's passed out multiple times on the mower with it running. He's run over our ornamental evergreens with the mower while drunk. He think's he's everyone's best friend but none of the other neighbors around can stand him. He stops and stares at my wife while she's running the backpack blower. She let him have it after that. I've had to tell him multiple times not to come over when we are in the backyard with our girls. Multiple drunk phone calls where he cusses me up and down while I laugh followed up by uncontrollable sobbing apologies. Cops know him by name as there have been several cases of DV there between him and his wife.

I keep expecting to find him dead in the yard as he's had multiple open heart surgeries but still drinks and smokes like a freight train.

Other than that, lots of good people in our neighborhood that are just a short golf cart ride away.
Click to expand...
Didn't know you were neighbors with Cherokee kid's in-laws. Small world, I guess.
 
Apparently I’ve been lucky. Either people kept to themselves or they were great!

Only had one neighbor who was a bit off, but it was due to a head injury. He was nice, just not too bright.

I will surely miss my neighbors down in Florida. They were amazing.
 
Several years ago my Dad was tilling his garden (at the time he was upper 70’s). Neighbor’s dog came aggressive and tried attacking him. He kept the tiller between him and the dog all the way to his house, probably 150’. An hour later he went back out and soon after restarting the tiller same thing. So he called the sheriff. Deputy came out, talked to Dad, then drove to the dog’s house. Deputy came back and said nobody was home but the dog tried to attack the patrol car so the Deputy put him down and left a note on the door.
 
Neighbors front and both sides, we consider each other family. To the rear, we are good but I'm def the "Bad" neighbor because of all my stuff and my redneck ways. But they call me when they need truth or help that they can't find anywhere else...good people though.
Last year I'm in my shop and a truck pulls into my driveway and I very irritatedly stop and see what this guy wants and he rolls down his window halfway and says "I hate to bother you, I know Scott and Ken (mutual friends) and they said you can be an asshole and always carry a gun and have a wolf, is it okay if I talk to you for a minute?" lol It broke the ice pretty good and we had a laugh and as it turns out he was related to the neighbor across the street who passed away years ago before new guy moved in.
 
YJJPWrangler said:
I've got a drunk as a neighbor. He stops and stares at my wife while she's running the backpack blower. She let him have it after that.
Click to expand...

Dang, where do you live? Seems kind of creepy, but if all it takes is staring at your wife for a little bit to get a free backpack blower, it might be worth the drive 😂
 
In the 80s I had crazy cat lady for a neighbor. She had a job but didnt work much. She asked me If could fix the floor. I went inside and the floor had holes cats pissed and they could get under the floor. The smell was killing me and I told her I can't fix it. When she left for work I would shoot them with .22 and take them to dump 1/4 mile. Finally I went to the dog catcher in Morrivlle and they fixed it. 3 or 4 peeps came there and trapped all the cats.
 
Tacoma747 said:
Dang, where do you live? Seems kind of creepy, but if all it takes is staring at your wife for a little bit to get a free backpack blower, it might be worth the drive 😂
Click to expand...

My wife bought it :lol:. Let me rephrase "let him have it". She yelled at him from across the yard, "WTF are you staring at it, etc" for a good 5 mins.

She doesn't hesitate to speak her mind at all
 
We have been lucky. At our current home pretty much everyone on our street/cul-de-sac is relatively normal and the one that was a pain in the ass moved. He had run in's with myself and another guy after he popped off at our wives over our dogs all being out together playing while we block partied it in the cul-de-sac after work and talked. None of them ever did anything hostile toward him or his yard. He wouldn't dare say a thing if the other hubands and I were standing there. Only the women. Long story short other neighbors could hear him screaming at his wife from time to time so that was on brand. I was out of town when it happened originally so I had time to cool off. However I did mail him a bag of dicks and a giant glitter bomb. The other guy had the cops called on him as he was about to drag dipshit out of his house and put his boot on his throat for yelling at and cussing his wife but dipshit hid inside and wouldn't talk to him, just called the cops instead. Fast forward a year and he did it again to our neighbors wife not realizing I was in the garage with the door closed. He hadn't barely finished yelling as the door went up and I was standing there with the gun safe open. We had a long conversation and I ended it politely telling him that I don't give a fuck what goes on in his own home, that's his business. However if I caught that shit happening to Alex or any of the other wives on the street, the next conversation wouldn't be a conversation. He got quiet and walked off. We never spoke again and they moved a few months later. Good riddance.

Our neighbors at the farm, soon to be our permanent neighbors are the jam. We keep an eye on each others stuff, help each other with projects, share equipment etc. If the most inconvenient thing that happens is us waking each other up at midnight from time to time riding SXS's without a prior phone call or invite, I'll live. The last time, they came by the toy hauler at about 1am and I could hear my buddy Dan loud whispering "Can Chris come out and play?" as I got my clothes on. I about threw up laughing, grabbed the keys to our machine, a few Banquets and got an evil stare from the wife. Just said "Be back in a bit honey".
 
Back
Top