uncc civilengineer
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2006
- Location
- Pfafftown, NC
http://charlotte.craigslist.org/pts/2685118283.html
JEEP MUDFLAPS FOR THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
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Date: 2011-11-04, 1:26PM EDT
Reply to: sale-shkcc-2685118283@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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Four original, branded with JEEP, glorious stiff-ass rubber mudflaps for your Jeep JK whatever. 2 doors, 4 doors, or NO doors like a real man drives a jeep, these fit them all. These are 100% ESSENTIAL equipment for you Urban Assault Vehicle or your Zombie KillMobile. Why, you ask? Apparently you've never been high-tailin' it out of the REAL SHIT before, so let me fill you in. When the Zombies Rise Up- and believe me little man, they're gonna fucking rise up- you're gonna need to get the Hell out of Dodge tout suite, which means lightning fuckin fast if you're up in that queer part of canada. What?? you don't have a Jeep??? you're screwed mother trucker!!! All Those pussies in those tiny little rice burners? Gone. Toast. FIrst ones to be eaten when they try to drift around a curve into a swarm of half-crazed Walking Deads. Hummers? Please- they can't go over a speedbump without dropping an axle, much less a stack of burning mutant freaks. No man, only the Jeeps will survive. And here's the kicker- you're gonna be noticed. By Zombies, but also by 2 hot chicks in bikini tops who were cruisin around in their TJ when hell broke loose. They won't be any good at maneuvering around carcass heaps. You're gonna want to mate with both of them later on to start a new race of Survivalists, so you gotta take care of the babes, right? You wanna be flingin' limbs and guts all over their windshield? UH OH LOOK OUT! SHE'S DONE SLAMMED INTO A TREE BECAUSE SHE COULDNT SEE THRU THE LIVER CHUNKS! AND NOW THE ZOMBIES ARE EATING THEIR BRAINS AND GNAWING ON THOSE PERKY LIFE-GIVING BREASTS! Ah, you dumbass! See where I'm going with this? You NEED these on your JK because you never know when the SHITS gonna get crazy fuckin' real, AND YOU GOTTA BE THE ALPHA MALE! Cant just be thinking of yo' own sorry self, that's what got us here in this mess in the first place! Geezus, are you listening to me???
I got one other item for you- you're gonna need to see behind your JK too. I got you covered, with the finest rear view camera you can buy. Mounts easily in your JK rear bumper and hooks up to your MyGig. WHAT? DID I JUST HEAR YOU RIGHT?! YOU'RE SAYING YOU DIDN'T GET THE MYGIG? OH, HELL NO! HELL NO! How do you expect to MAKE IT?? How will you see where that sweet farmhouse is way out in the country, the only place where you can survive the night and mate with the hotties? How will you play 18gigabites of asskickin' metal to fuel your adrenaline damned driving rampage thru the nightmare in the streets? AND HOW ARE YOU GONNA KEEP TABS ON THE BABES BEHIND YOU without this camera? Do it man. Get this shit and put it on your Jeep NOW. Then go get some plaid shirts from Goodwill because chicks will bang any dude wearing a kick ass plaid shirt. Fuck, how do you drive a jeep without covering your head in shame?
Seriously, I hear loud moaning and feet draggin' outside my door. Lucky for me, I have the ultimate Urban Assault Motorcycle. I'll be at the farmhouse with some freshly hunted meat, two bottles of Jack, and my shotgun waiting for you and those babes. Swear to god if you show up in a JK without mudflaps, I will shoot your dumb ass and procreate with them myself, because I am not gonna go down savin your sorry butt!
$50 for the flaps. $75 for the camera. Shipping is free for both. So is the advice.
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2685118283
JEEP MUDFLAPS FOR THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2011-11-04, 1:26PM EDT
Reply to: sale-shkcc-2685118283@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Four original, branded with JEEP, glorious stiff-ass rubber mudflaps for your Jeep JK whatever. 2 doors, 4 doors, or NO doors like a real man drives a jeep, these fit them all. These are 100% ESSENTIAL equipment for you Urban Assault Vehicle or your Zombie KillMobile. Why, you ask? Apparently you've never been high-tailin' it out of the REAL SHIT before, so let me fill you in. When the Zombies Rise Up- and believe me little man, they're gonna fucking rise up- you're gonna need to get the Hell out of Dodge tout suite, which means lightning fuckin fast if you're up in that queer part of canada. What?? you don't have a Jeep??? you're screwed mother trucker!!! All Those pussies in those tiny little rice burners? Gone. Toast. FIrst ones to be eaten when they try to drift around a curve into a swarm of half-crazed Walking Deads. Hummers? Please- they can't go over a speedbump without dropping an axle, much less a stack of burning mutant freaks. No man, only the Jeeps will survive. And here's the kicker- you're gonna be noticed. By Zombies, but also by 2 hot chicks in bikini tops who were cruisin around in their TJ when hell broke loose. They won't be any good at maneuvering around carcass heaps. You're gonna want to mate with both of them later on to start a new race of Survivalists, so you gotta take care of the babes, right? You wanna be flingin' limbs and guts all over their windshield? UH OH LOOK OUT! SHE'S DONE SLAMMED INTO A TREE BECAUSE SHE COULDNT SEE THRU THE LIVER CHUNKS! AND NOW THE ZOMBIES ARE EATING THEIR BRAINS AND GNAWING ON THOSE PERKY LIFE-GIVING BREASTS! Ah, you dumbass! See where I'm going with this? You NEED these on your JK because you never know when the SHITS gonna get crazy fuckin' real, AND YOU GOTTA BE THE ALPHA MALE! Cant just be thinking of yo' own sorry self, that's what got us here in this mess in the first place! Geezus, are you listening to me???
I got one other item for you- you're gonna need to see behind your JK too. I got you covered, with the finest rear view camera you can buy. Mounts easily in your JK rear bumper and hooks up to your MyGig. WHAT? DID I JUST HEAR YOU RIGHT?! YOU'RE SAYING YOU DIDN'T GET THE MYGIG? OH, HELL NO! HELL NO! How do you expect to MAKE IT?? How will you see where that sweet farmhouse is way out in the country, the only place where you can survive the night and mate with the hotties? How will you play 18gigabites of asskickin' metal to fuel your adrenaline damned driving rampage thru the nightmare in the streets? AND HOW ARE YOU GONNA KEEP TABS ON THE BABES BEHIND YOU without this camera? Do it man. Get this shit and put it on your Jeep NOW. Then go get some plaid shirts from Goodwill because chicks will bang any dude wearing a kick ass plaid shirt. Fuck, how do you drive a jeep without covering your head in shame?
Seriously, I hear loud moaning and feet draggin' outside my door. Lucky for me, I have the ultimate Urban Assault Motorcycle. I'll be at the farmhouse with some freshly hunted meat, two bottles of Jack, and my shotgun waiting for you and those babes. Swear to god if you show up in a JK without mudflaps, I will shoot your dumb ass and procreate with them myself, because I am not gonna go down savin your sorry butt!
$50 for the flaps. $75 for the camera. Shipping is free for both. So is the advice.
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2685118283
. Really only need them in the back anyway. Dont want the front tires to get clogged up with zombie internals since cornering seems to be of paramount concern!