The Koala and the Little Lizard

door3

door3

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A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says "Hey Koala ! what are you doing?"

The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"

So the koala looks down at him and says

"Fawcccccccccck dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"
 
I'm gonna have to use this one tonight. I'll be hanging out with some stoners who I KNOW will be blazing in preperation for the CLUTCH CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight, Ziggy's, 8:00. Be there if you like metal/stoner rock.
 
catfishblues said:
I'm gonna have to use this one tonight. I'll be hanging out with some stoners who I KNOW will be blazing in preperation for the CLUTCH CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight, Ziggy's, 8:00. Be there if you like metal/stoner rock.
Click to expand...


wheres ziggys?
 
That's a great one.

So quasimoto is getting a little tired of ringing the bells at notre dame and he decides to hire some help. So he puts an ad in the paper and a guy answers it. Quasimodo interviews him, he's not too smart, but it aint exactly rocket science. "The only thing", Quasimodo tells him, "is you gotta get outta the way of the bell when it swings back toward you or it'll hit you in the face and knock you off the bell tower to the street below." So the clock rolls around and it's time to ring the bell. The guy pulls the rope and, you guessed it, the bell hits him in the face and knocks him off the tower. Quasimodo hobbles down the stairs as fast as he can and by the time he gets there a crowd has gathered. Someone asks him "What was his name?" To which Quasimodo replies, "I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell!"

It's a two part joke.

Quasimodo is a little upset, but still wants some help, so he places another add in the paper and lo and behold, the guy's older, but not much smarter, brother applies. Quasimodo is a little reluctant to hire him but the guy says his family really needs the money, so Quasimodo hires him telling him the same thing. "Watch out when the bell swings back or it'll hit you in the face and knock you off the clock tower." Time comes to ring the bell and the guy pulls the rope. The bell swings back and hits the guy in the face and knocks him off the clock tower to his death. Again Quasimodo hobbles down the steps to the crowd and some one asks, the guys name. Quasimodo says, "I didn't get his name either, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
 
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