What terms in a for sale ad really mean.

UncleWillie

UncleWillie

Rarely serious.
Joined
Dec 29, 2010
Location
Vale
http://www.kitcar.com/articles-kitcar/humordept/humor-ForSaleTerms.html
[If the ad claims... It really means...

rough condition... too bad to lie about

parts car... beyond repair

immaculate... recently washed

concours... recently waxed

engine quiet... if you use 90-weight oil

needs minor overhaul... needs engine

needs major overhaul... Phone the junkyard

burns no oil... (it all leaks out)

rebuilt engine... Cleaned the spark plugs.

Drive it away... I live on a hill.

Drive it anywhere... (within 10 miles)

desirable classic... No one wants it.

rare classic... No one wanted it even when it was new.

stored 20 years... (in a farmer's field)

ran when stored... Won't start.

never apart... Bolts too rounded to loosen.

solid as a rock... rusted solid

restored, with 0 miles... Won't start.

restored, with 2 miles... Won't stay running.

older restoration... First owner washed it.

good investment... Can't be worth much less.

no time to restore it... Can't obtain parts.

95% complete... Other 5% doesn't exist.

Other interests conflict... Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I go!"

Doesn't smoke... when it's out of oil.

New slick racing tires... I burned the tread down to the belts.

Re-upholstered... New K-mart seat covers and floor mats.

Major preformance upgrades... Bolted a new exhaust tip on the tailpipe.

Kept in garage... The scratches are from my cat.

Pampered/adult driven... I'm 17 and I think it's about to die.

Complete restoration... New Earl Scheib paint.

New paint... Don't let it get wet.

Sporty... It's got a floor shifter.

Family car... There's still food under the seats.

Good school/work car... More dents than a golf ball.

Worth $xxx--sacrifice for $xx... I can't believe I paid $xx for it myself.

Lots of extras... Everything that fell off/out is in the trunk.

Quiet engine... You can't hear it over the broken headers.

Traction control... Starts moving only in 2nd gear.

Race modified... It's got Japanese stickers on the back window.

Exotic... It leaves a funny taste in your mouth.

Precision machined... I used a degreaser.

FAST... -ER than my mom's Geo.
 
I love the ads where a guy lists out $15k worth of go-fast goodies and then puts "always babied, never abused." suuuuure.

Then there's: "pushin' {factory rating+sum of claimed hp increases from any and all mods} to the wheels"
 
There is an add right now on Raleigh Craigslist for a "new" 31.1050 15 AT tire and Chevrolet wheel for $180. It has pics of a rusty, dry rotted, who knows how old, looks 80s, unused spare tire. It has been reposted several times (months) w the same outrageous price. I wonder If the seller has gotten any offers at all. I feel compelled to tell them it's not worth much except for a spare anyway. I've heard the term "they think they have gold, but it's just old" Alot of hilarious descripitions of used boats/motors abound also on CL.
 
I love the people who answer my ads for scrap and get offended when I give them a scrap price for their car. They usually say, "but it is perfect except that it needs an (insert - engine, transmission, front end, interior, body, complete restoration)" They really get pissed when I tell them, " Well it isn't perfect then." Odd thing is they all seem to think they know my mother.:fuck-you:
 
My older neighbor had an all original 72 ford f-100 w a stepside, 6 cyl. 65k, 3 on the tree, in pretty good shape when I moved in beside him 7 yrs ago. He got it in trade for some carpentry work he did. He said he was going to fix it up when I asked about it and offered a good price for it. He let it sit and be covered w leaves and pinestraw until he gave it to his 20's son a few years ago. He pulled off the font clip and hood to "restore" the truck that only needed some TLC. The son then let it sit w/o the hood or fenders for 3 yrs. while the bed was full of tree crap and rusting out badly, while I wondered why he did'nt want to sell it either. One day this summer a salvage co. hauled it off for $200. I spoke to him and the salvage guys and told him I would give him $500 for it but it was too late. A month later I was riding down the road and saw the truck parked in a yard w the same salvage truck also in the front yard and it was apparent it was being fixed. I guess the junk man finds some diamonds in the rough occasionally
 
ha ha ha love this thread! so true - I especially love: "ran when stored... Won't start."

@ Warbeast - Doesnt everyone know your mother? :-D
 
Beast, That is a great list!

Made me think about Mr. Allison, an old farmer neighbor of ours who had the straightest 1963 chevy short bed you will ever see. Bought it new. Only scratch on it was where he shot it by accident with a .22 trying to kill a snake in the barn. He had promised me for years that it was mine when he quit driving. I went by my parents house one day after he passed away, and saw it flying down thier dead end road being driven by his 14 YO grandson. He had been "Learning to drive" in it. OMG! There wasnt a straight spot left on it, and he would rev it so hard that it would collapse the lifters and shut down.:shaking: He got it stuck in a field and finally blew it up. It just sitting there, for over a month... crying.

Now a days, I see the same kid in the McDonalds above the house. He hangs out playing with his cell phone all day, while his pregnant girl friend is busy working there. The boy gives White Trash a bad name. What a waste on many levels.
 
nctom said:
Beast,
Now a days, I see the same kid in the McDonalds above the house. He hangs out playing with his cell phone all day, while his pregnant girl friend is busy working there. The boy gives White Trash a bad name. What a waste on many levels.
Click to expand...

Kid sounds like a little punk who had everything handed to him on a silver platter... Sounds like he is content ruining things of others...
 
This could be a never ending thread w all the outrageous, falsly imbellished Craigslist adds alone. I sometimes see intended humor in sellers discriptions also! I remember a great one from years ago a guy was selling an old boat, remodeled badly w a large glassed wood front cabin added, It looked bow heavy and unsafe in the pic. His add was hillarious, He claimed this boat was "certified by Davy Jones himself" and the hull was covered w epoxy hardened "whale foreskin", and that this boat was "not for the faint of heart as every voyage would be an exciteing, adrenalin filled, near death experience!". I'll see if I can find it and post it here.
 
I still haven't figured out how people will list a 20 year old car with normal bumps, bruises, wear, and tear as "Mint".
Mint means perfect...Brand new in every way. I wouldn't call most cars on the dealership lot "mint" after they get a few test drives and a washing or two on them.


"Runs out real good" is a rather ambiguous statement as well. As far as I can tell that means it drives fine and doesn't have any glaring driving issues. I think that's pretty much expected when you're selling a used car unless you specify otherwise.
 
Saw it again (worded slightly different):

"pushin' {factory rating+sum of claimed hp increases from any and all mods} to the wheels"


:shaking:
 
Good list. here's one of my favorites...

" Vehicle is perfect except it needs this $10 part so I'm only asking $3500, if it doesn't sell, I'm going to fix the part and price will go up to $4500"

:lol: Has that ever really worked for anyone?:lol:
 
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