What the vehicle ad really means.....

[Tom@Hilltop_Machine]

rough condition... too bad to lie about
parts car... beyond repair
immaculate... recently washed
engine quiet... if you use 90-weight oil
needs minor overhaul... needs engine
needs major overhaul... call the junkyard
rebuilt engine... cleaned the spark plugs
desirable classic... no one wants it
rare classic... no one wanted it even when it was new
ran when stored... won't start
never apart... all bolts rusted
restored, with 0 miles... won't start
restored, with 2 miles... won't stay running
older restoration... first owner washed it
good investment... can't be worth much less
no time to restore it... can't obtain parts
95% complete.... other 5% doesn't exist
other interests conflict... spouse's ultimatum "That #!!@&##* thing goes or I do"
re-upholstered... new K-mart seat covers
performance upgrades... bolted on new exhaust tip
pampered/adult driven... I'm 17 and I think it's about to die
complete restoration... Earl Scheib paint
sporty... has floor shifter
family car... still has food under the seats
good school/work car... more dents than a golf ball
worth $xxx-sacrifice for$xx... I can't believe I paid $xx for it myself
lots of extras... everything that fell off is in the trunk
quiet engine... can't hear it over the broken exhaust
traction control... starts moving only in 2nd gear
race modified... has stickers on back window
exotic... it leaves a funny taste in your mouth

 

[RatLabGuy]

lol it's funny b/c many of them are quite right

 

[f i s h]

Never taken offroad = fresh paint in fenderwells

 

[a_kelley]

runs & drives... probably need head gaskets.
shifts firm... the transmission needs new clutches.

 

[Papa_Jon]

everything works = defrost only
ac needs to be refilled = need clutch and lines
window sticks= duck tape and stick holding it up
no leaks = already leaked everything empty on all fluids