Would your wife be jealouse if you helped move a hot coworker for free?

Would wife be jealouse if you helped move a hot coworker for free?

  • Very much so!

    Votes: 18 58.1%

  • Akward for her but she would be OK with it.

    Votes: 8 25.8%

  • She would love for me to help a hot coworker out.

    Votes: 5 16.1%
  • Total voters
    31
  • Poll closed .
6BangBronk

6BangBronk

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2005
Location
Durham
I'm in the doghouse and was wondering if my situation is unique? I do a lot of side work on the weekends and one of them is a "moving" business. I have a box truck and a regular helper. I had a coworker that is a knock out and my age to come to me and ask me to help her move since she knew I did that thing. Being the nice guy I am, I told her I would help but we didn't discuss pay. So being the nice guy I am, I paid my helper but did the chore for free. I'm only out a $50 for the helper plus about $20 gas for it only took 2.5 hours (plus 1.5 hours drive time). I hoped she would offer at least paying for my helper but so far, if don't look likely. But I'm also out at least a steak dinner for the wife...

Wife has met her 1 time. And I sensed jealousy then. She has a lot of appearance features that are hands down better than my wife's. But I would never trade my wife for 3 hot co-workers. Nor would I do anything to my wife to hurt her intentionally.

Although unless we're going on vacation or holiday events or something, I work every single day of my life that I'm able and it's a "gimme". But I think if I would have asked my wife if she had other plans that day before committing that it may have made a difference? Wife made the point to say that coworker makes good money (alot more than my wife) and I should have charged her for it. And also that it's a different situation to help friends and family, but not a hot coworker that I hardly know away from business. I feel like I did a good thing although co-worker has yet to even acknowledge me as existing. No "Thank you" or anything. Now it makes me mad that she expected it... But usually good looks also come with that kind of attitude. But I did do my good deed and doubt she'll get any more favors from me.

Just wondering.
Thanks!
 
Maybe its just our marriage, but for me/us, the fact that she is "hot" would be irrelevant here. She may tease me about it, saying I'm only volunteering b/c she's hot, but I doubt there would be any jealousy, Maybe b/c we've been married >15 years and she knows I wouldn't stray, plus she;s just a realist about life and know she's not as "hot" as many and just doesn't care. i guess thats part of what I like about her, not hung up on this kind of thing.

The question between us would be simply, why are you giving away your services for free? But then I'm a pretty helpful guy and do favors for friends and family all the time. Sometimes thats also how you find out more about what kinds of a person somebody really is, how grateful they are, etc.

Your case is a little more explicit though - the gist of it is that you provide a business service. Somebody has asked to get/gotten that service free/discounted. Like most businesses, you have some threshold "line" for who gets the service free/discounted, and who does not. What is in question is whether a coworker from another job should be above or below that threshold... and it sounds to me that your wife thinks you have lowered the threshold because she's hot.
So be honest with yourself, is that true or would you do it for any coworker or loose acquaintance?
Either way, IMHO you need to smooth it over w/ the wife... even if she's being a bit ridiculous.

Does the coworker definitely know this is usually a revenue-generating business, and you incur costs by helping her? Entirely possible she"knew" at some very basic level but she just didn't think about the fact that you were bascially losing money to help.
 
It was very nice of you to help her. I'm also that kind of person.

Too bad she's a bitch and didn't offer any thing in advance" hint hint", not even a thank you. :kaioken:

However you are right in that sometimes attractive females get used to people just doing for them and thus it is expected.
 
Totally agree with everything. I may give it a couple days to see if she comes around but I think I need to at least ask for the money for gas and helper to meet mid-ground for wife's sake. And all out honesty Ratlab, I absolutely did not want to do this move and I dreaded it to the end. I had a strong feeling the outcome on my part, just not the wife's. I was cornered hard. We have 9 employees in our division. She's like 3 offices down. We don't work "together" but I can't avoid passing down the hall or something. And she's only been here maybe a year? All the other guys were asked once but she repeated to me making sure I was going to be there probably because I had the truck. And guess who all showed. :) I was hoping for more help...

I think if at least one other person from work had shown up to help the outcome would have been different for the wife. It was the scenario of "me doing for co-worker" that made the wife go off.
 
And I had another move after this one. We left the house at 8:00 and didn't get home til 9:00. I would have declined but she asked just hours before I got the second one. We were wore slam out...
 
My OL wouldn't be jealous, but would be pissed if I handled the situation any differently than I would have for any other customer/client...ie I wouldn't have been doing anything for free. And if it's an awkward situation trying to retroactively ask this person for money, since you do know/work with her, I'd just tell my woman that...and that I'd handle it better from the start in the future. Unless it's someone I want to donate my time to, I always tell them 'I don't work for free'.
 
McCracken said:
Where's the pics?
Click to expand...

We haven't even had a company outing yet since she's been here to have a pic. Unless I walk by and "stealth" one. But still, although she adds eye candy to the office, she's definitely not for me! I would never jeopardize my job especially since I'm turning 20 years here. Much more so my wife for her only flaw is the jealousy part. Guess she's just a tad unsecure.

Guess wives' tend to be jealous of flower names too. Iris...
 
UTfball68 said:
My OL wouldn't be jealous, but would be pissed if I handled the situation any differently than I would have for any other customer/client...ie I wouldn't have been doing anything for free. And if it's an awkward situation trying to retroactively ask this person for money, since you do know/work with her, I'd just tell my woman that...and that I'd handle it better from the start in the future. Unless it's someone I want to donate my time to, I always tell them 'I don't work for free'.
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Agreed! I will definitely keep those words in mind for next time. Thanks!

This whole situation has been awkward for me from the start... I really didn't know "HOW" to handle it. But it would have been very different. I think I was actually "suckered" since I thought at least one other person would have showed up. Or I WOULD have asked for money.
 
I have a few female customers and some like to think they can shake it and get what they want but you have to draw a line when it comes to business and look at it as you have no friends when the business is involved. My wife is never pleased when I give handouts and she would flip out if the handout cost us money. I would wait a few days and then pass her an invoice at regular price and say sorry that you didn't get it to her sooner.
 
Can you approach it by simply asking her, "Did you expect my assistance to be free"

I would ask it that way. "Hey I wasn't real clear on the front end and I apologize for that. Were you expecting me to help you move for free? I dont mind helping a co-worker out but I do have to cover my fuel costs and pay my employee."

Right now you arent a nice guy. You are a sucker. There is a fine line. Helping someone all day with free labor-Nice Guy. Paying someone else to help them and paying for fuel-Sucker.

This is the way I look at things.
The most important thing in my life is my family. If something is going to take me away from my family it has to provide some value in return. Be it personal happiness or financial.
Absent either of those I am not doing it.
 
I guess the real question is, did you get all the hidden cameras installed before the furniture went in?
 
BUCKEYE PERFORMANCE INC. said:
I would wait a few days and then pass her an invoice at regular price and say sorry that you didn't get it to her sooner.
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Another thought that crossed my mind as well. A tad passive aggressive. But I like it.
She assumed you would work for free.
You assumed she would pay.
Put an invoice in front of her and put the ball back in her court.
 
My wife wouldn't care if I helped a hot coworker, but she sure as hell would care if I paid a helper that helped move. I can definitely see how that would throw up some red flags in a woman's head, no matter how jealous they might or might not be.
 
Blaze said:
My wife wouldn't care if I helped a hot coworker, but she sure as hell would care if I paid a helper that helped move. I can definitely see how that would throw up some red flags in a woman's head, no matter how jealous they might or might not be.
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Enough said Blaze... :cool: The point is very clear now and I see exactly why the wife had issues. Nice guys finish last. And I think the Invoice approach is best. Even if she refuses to pay with a lame "thought I was going to do this for free" comes out, I think I will at least feel better about myself. And I know how to best approach this next time.

Funny how everybody volunteers to help out a co-worker then I'm the one caught holding the bag... Guess it's kinda hard to devote off time for free for any @!#$ body besides immediate friends and family. Even her girl buddy from the other end of the hall didn't come help.
 
justjeepin86 said:
Mine would probably be ok with it other than paying someone to help me. When it came to money out of our pockets like that, she would be pissed, not jealous.
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x2..... My wife has several "hot" co-workers that I have helped in the past with various things. Payment is promptly expected though.
 
Blaze said:
It's because all the other guys' wives were like "you are NOT going to go help that bitch move." :lol:
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hahahaha funny b/c its true
 
You got used by a pro. You did wrong by doing anything for her that you wouldn't have done for a "regular" customer. Tell your wife so and move on. She sounds like shes understanding. Don't expect anything from the user but DO give her an invoice.
 
She played you well and your out $70 plus time. Now the deal with the wife is then worse part because hot coworker doesn't care and isn't out anything and probably laughing as some women get a kick off the jealous thing.

I would suck it up, because clearly your not getting sucked off anytime soon by either one, buy the wife a nice dinner out, panties and bra set from Victorias Secret, a dozen rozes, a card filled with sweet words and adoration.

Coworker ain't gonna pay just cut your losses and cut your ties as much as you can. This will make wife happy as well.
 
my wife and my ex-wife would have my balls.....................invoice or "divoice" sounds about right from either of them. My time is either money spent or money made and charitable act toward any opposite sex better be through church activities.;)
 
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