This is a great way to wake up... One morning about 6:45 I go and let the dog out the back door to do her business. She comes darting back toward the house and I open the door, she runs in past me, slides across the laminate living room floor, hits the wall across the room and is spinning around in circles something crazy.
I'm half awake, but I'm trying to figure out why she is suddenly full of the holy spirit, when it hits me, or I should say, THEY hit me. Two yellow jackets rode the dog in like banditos and now turned their attack on me. I didn't have a shirt on so my only defense was to break out my Michael Jackson dance moves all across the living room and to sing some of James Brown's greatest hits. (I would have loved to have been able to see this from my neighbor's viewpoint.) The bastards got off of me and went back to the door to get out while I went to grab the spray.
They only help I got from my heroic girlfriend, who is still in bed at this point, was her saying "We're out, use the Resolve under the sink." That's right. Resolve Carpet Cleaner. Instead of arguing, I grabbed it thinking I would soak them with it so they couldn't fly and then smash them with a flip flop I had stuck in my underwear waistband, like a six shooter in Dirty Harry's holster. I soaked those sob's and they fell to the floor and started twitching just like I had hit them with the real deal. I watched them for a second and I didn't even have to smash them before they died. But I did smash them. Sucka's gotsta pay!
