Begging rules

One Christmas Eve a few years back I was headed into the First St. Draught House for a beer. There is always some contingent of homeless or beggars around since it is near the hospital. A dude came up and asked for money; my response was "no, but I'll buy you a beer" I think that is homeless reverse psychology or something.

Anyway, I bought a few pints and as the bartender was setting them down he recognized this guy as a local vagrant and told him to leave. Said vagrant picks up one of the pints and walks out and across the street drinking his Christmas beer. Zero fucks to be seen anywhere near that guy, and for a moment I was jealous of a carefree life while the bartender bitched me out.
 
1-tonmudder said:
I travel ALOT and I encounter this quite a bit,it drives Tonya crazy.She works a public job so she gets to hear how people are playin the system and is suspicious of EVERYBODY.
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Yep, this is me! I've worked in public service for almost 10 years & I'm a certified welfare fraud investigator. I don't give handouts but I'll be happy to point them towards organizations that have the resources to assist them. I regularly donate food & toiletries to our agency pantry & the local shelter. @Mulishajoe on the other hand...we'll just say he balances us out. If it was up to him, he'd gladly give money and/or food to every one that asks.
 
Gave 5 bucks to a guy who had run out of gas (so he said). Saw him in the exact same spot the next day and he gave me that exact same story - ran out of gas. That did it for me. No more handouts. I feel like a jerk saying no, but can't/won't spend the time to get the real truth. Easier just to say no.
 
Another instance of my encounters with New Mexican homeless. We had just left a bar in Santa Fe with my friends family. We were walking down the street when from across the road a homeless dude comes running and yelling " mam! Mam! Noooo! Stop!" My friends early 60s mom stops in her tracks thinking she's about to get accosted. The grizzly old man came up to us. " I got sick. I didn't want you to step in my vomit" then points at an enormous pile of puke about a foot away from where she stood.
 
IMO...real people in need have places to go, to eat, clothe, sleep...etc.

These organizations I will support.

I will not hand money to some POS standing on a corner wearing better tennis shoes than I am wearing!
 
Same in Boone, and they have to get a permit. One guy would sit at a corner with his Subaru on the grass, lift gate open, showing off his perfectly made and spotless bed. It was extremely obvious that no one had ever spent a night in the car.
 
ol'Jeeps said:
BTW...Why arent panhandlers required to post their signs in english and spanish?
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Well lets face it, the panhandlers know damn well that they aren't gonna get shit from Messicans who ran across 500 miles of desert so they can work 10 hr daily construction jobs and send 1/2 their money home
 
I have given money once in last 30 years to someone. A young couple, with a baby, standing at in intersection at Wal-Mart. Sign read something like Need Formula, Diapers, and gas to get back to TN. I give em $20. Circled back around, followed the woman into Wal Mart. She went in, bought formula, and diapers, and wipes. And that was all! Went back through where they were standing, they had crossed out the the formula and diapers part. I stopped again and asked how much more they needed to be able to get home. HE said another $12 and they could head on. I told him to follow me, I put $20 in their car, and another $10 to get them something to eat too. They pulled from the wal mart right into the Hardee's. So I felt good about helping them. They asked for my mailing address so they could re-pay me. I said no but they insisted. A month later, I had a letter from them, with $50 in cash in it, folded inside a thank you letter.

On another note, I worked in Restaurant management for nearly 23 years. Always had people coming in asking if they could work for something to eat. I never asked them to do anything, just give em something to eat. Something my father always did, well kinda, no one ever came to our house that didn't usually sit down and eat with us. But, this one time, a guy came in, wanting food for him and his family, same story, so I handed him a broom, and dustpan, the kinda you hold with a handle, and sweep stuff up in. Brand new, as it had just came in on our truck.(old one had got broken) TO this day, I have not seen the man, the broom, or that brand damn new dust pan!
 
CasterTroy said:
"Never loan money to a friend"

Why? Just causes problems. You only give money you never intend to get back. If you're not willing to give that friend money without ANY expectation of return, or concern where they USE that money, then don't even give them money...just say no

Same with beggars.

If you can't freely give without ANY expectation of a return or concern HOW they use that money, do not give a dime.

My wife? Bleeding heart softy that has to give at every opportunity regardless of what they look like. Of course she has NO street smarts, and can't even discern the difference in a compliment and someone hitting on her, so there's that. When she's with me and asks if I have any money I say "Yup, but they're damn sure not getting any of it"

Is that wrong? Well...yeah if you believe Matthew 25:40 it IS. So...I struggle. And my wife (my conscience) reminds me of that. But at the same time I'm too logical...with too much street smarts, and have the mindset of an FBI profiler (I "know" people....it's a gift and a curse) so I can spot the fake in a heartbeat. So this is a constant struggle for me
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Don't forget. We live IN Rome. There are Caesars and unbelievers and fake believers.

What you do for the least of his brothers and sisters... that would be what you are doing for a true believer.

Wide is the path to destruction where many "false believers" will go, and narrow is the path to heaven where few "true believers" will go.

Don't get tricked into thinking various Egyptians and Romans you are interacting with are fellow brothers and sisters. We treat all with love and kindness (what is the subjective? When God *tells* us too through the Holy Spirit). The letter of the law kills, but the spirit of the law gives life. There is no *rule* for treating the "least". There is a guidance that is subject to Gods will and timing.

Your struggle is in your mind, because there is no b/w rule for you to struggle with here
 
Wife strikes again last night...leaving a birthday dinner for the mother in law. Putting the baby in the car. See a guy and a dog coming up to the car. Says he's homeless, and the wind from the end of last week destroyed his tent and was there any chance I could spare any money for a hotel. My typical response...sorry man, all I have is plastic, no cash. The wife pipes up...'how much do you need for a hotel?' He gives a logical number...the wife reaches in to her purse and pulls out the cash. Face palm. Guy walks away and I ask why she did that. 'He had a dog'. Well what hotel here is going to let a homeless dog in??? She simply replied 'Ya never know'. I grumble something under my breath about tomorrow's news highlighting a homeless guy and dog embarking on a drug induced killing spree. I got a 'don't start with me'...and that was that.
 
UTfball68 said:
Wife strikes again last night...leaving a birthday dinner for the mother in law. Putting the baby in the car. See a guy and a dog coming up to the car. Says he's homeless, and the wind from the end of last week destroyed his tent and was there any chance I could spare any money for a hotel. My typical response...sorry man, all I have is plastic, no cash. The wife pipes up...'how much do you need for a hotel?' He gives a logical number...the wife reaches in to her purse and pulls out the cash. Face palm. Guy walks away and I ask why she did that. 'He had a dog'. Well what hotel here is going to let a homeless dog in??? She simply replied 'Ya never know'. I grumble something under my breath about tomorrow's news highlighting a homeless guy and dog embarking on a drug induced killing spree. I got a 'don't start with me'...and that was that.
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I've ben approached by folks on numerous occasions w/ the "I just need a hotel room for the night" line.
I ask them - what about the next night? Where will you stay after this one night is over?
Always a blank stare, either they aren't prepared for being caught in the lie or (in the rare occasion it's true) just plain haven't thought past 24 hrs.
I pointed out to one guy where Dick's, just up the road, was selling tents for less than the cost of 1 nights stay, that would be a more permanent room and you can take it with you. Reply was, "I ain't sleepin in no fuckin tent". OK then, I'm on my way.
 
3/4 years ago we were at MB and I had been to meet some guy to buy some parts.Got back to the hotel and was getting out of the truck and some dude approaches me askin for some money so he could get some fuel to get back home.Dude was dressed reasonably well had a lil boy w him and his story was they had been robbed the night before and they got his billfold,his wife's p-book and he needed about 12 gallons of fuel to get back home on.I ask him why he didn't have somebody wire him some money,his answer was they tried that and since he didn't have ID (that was in his billfold) they wouldn't let him have the cash.I asked him 2/3 more questions and he had a quick,reasonable answer for ea one.I had just got fuel myself and I knew it was $3/gal so he needed $36 to get home on.I knew I had $40 left on me so I just handed it over.He might have got me and if Tonya hadn't already called and rushed me before hand I would have followed him to the gas station.He seemed genuinely embarrassed about askin and I felt like he was legit.If he wasn't legit it was well rehearsed.Thats only the 2nd person I've ever give money too.
 
I've been given money for fuel once. When I was in high school. I was on the way to the bank to cash my check to get gas. I asked the guy to fallow me to the bank so I could pay him back but he wouldn't fallow me. If someone is truly in need I will help but I think most people are trying to screw people over.

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There's a real nice guy at food lion in Tramway (Sanford). Rides a bike with white tires. Says he has a campsite back behind the radio station....invited me a couple of times to come visit. Afraid I'd wake up without a kidney.

A couple of weeks ago, we went into that Food Lion about 8pm. Got hit up 3 times between the car and the front door. You'd think management would run them off, but always there.

"No" usually doesn't work around here, they'll pester you all the way to the store entrance. I've found it works best to tell them you just got laid off, aren't working (true, mostly, wife got laid off a while back, and I just retired...almost the same), and don't have hardly a dime to my name. It usually makes them back off and leave you alone. Told that to the white-tire bike guy a few months ago...he said "but you sure drive a nice car"...came right back with I was having to park down the street from my house so the repo guy wouldn't find it. He offered me a couple of bucks. He's been my buddy since....but I'm keeping my kidney.
 
When I was doing PI work more than once, and in more than one city, I saw a nice SUV pull in in a parking lot and several "homeless" people got out, divvied up the territory, and when to it. In the evening they would come back to the SUV and leave. I used to have a video of it, but it got lost in a move.
 
I was driving home from Hanes Mall one day with my 11 year old daughter in the back seat. We passed a beggar standing in front of the Taco Bell with a sign that said, "Homeless, no food anything will help". She looked at him and then saw a sign at Taco Bell "Help Wanted". Even her 11 year old logical brain said, "Dad. I wouldn't give them any money. If they need money, they should look up and read the sign and go in and get a job." I've never been more proud.
 
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