Descriptions of Very Hot Weather

frankenyoter

frankenyoter

No Rain, No Rainbow
Joined
Mar 17, 2009
Location
DARK CITY
What are some of the ways folks describe the current wave of hot weather. Slang, crude, etc. Old timers have some good ones typically. I heard a good one yesterday from a friend, that made me laugh. It is too offensive and probably better suited for the garage...

So lets hear 'em cause it is HOT out there!
 
grampa used to say " there was this old farmer plowin his corn and it got so hot the corn started popping and the ole mule thought it was snowing and froze to death right there!!!"
 
I grew up in Michigan - we rarely complained about the heat (other than when it was like 90% humidity and 85+ degrees!), but on the other hand, it had been "Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra".
 
Haha, I got one. "hotter than two rats humpin' in a wool sock" or my favorite from this year.....


"hotter than a four-balled tom cat!"
 
disclaimer - these are ones ive heard not ones I use and i do not condone any racially insensitive thoughts or actons based upon your reading of this.
hot enough to make the devil sigh
hot enough to make obama take of his hoodie
hot enough to boil eggs in underwear
hot enough to fry jews
 
Ron said:
disclaimer - these are ones ive heard not ones I use and i do not condone any racially insensitive thoughts or .....
hot enough to fry jews
Click to expand...

:eek: :massey::lol:
 
Papaw always said

"Hotter'n a raped ape"

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2
 
huh my dad said it was hotter than a 3 peckered goat wonder if those goats were related
 
Being from TN, slang is common from everybody. A few...

So hot, fire ants spotted with canteens on their sides now.
Drier than a popcorn fart.
Hotter than a 3 dollar pistol.
 
so hot that the lizards carry sticks with them. i didn't get it the first time i heard it either(southwest desert joke) picture this,a lizard running across the desert with a little stick in his mouth,he goes to cross the road and the pavement is so hot he has to drop the stick and hop up on it to let his feet cool. yea it's a dumb saying but that's frigging hot.
 
Hotter than a new set of jumper cables at a redneck funeral.
Hotter than the hinges of Hell.
Hotter than pistol air. (Wait for it...)
Hotter than bare buttcrack on a black vinyl seat.
Squirrels are pouring Gatorade on their nuts.
I watched my dog pee from the window.
I just saw a bum with a sign that said "Will work for shade".
It's so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
Farmers are feeding the chickens ice cubes so they dont lay hard boiled eggs.
Its so hot I burnt my tounge lying about it.
Its so hot, the squirrels are handling their nuts with potholders.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
You get condensation on your toilet seat..
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
It was so hot that UNC fans took the bags off their heads.
 
. . .a chili-pepper fart with a sunburned asshole

. . .a hooker on nickel night

:flipoff2:
 
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