Fun fact. Me and the wife left out of Mocksvegas after our wedding headed to Florida and it turned into a mild adventure. We were to get down the road and stop for the night rest and drive into Port Canaveral the next morning rested and board a cruise ship.
Any who we left the wedding let folks from church clean up grabbed the packed bags and jetted. We had a morning wedding for several reasons. One, it was July and outside under an arbor. Two, we love breakfast food and actually did that as our meal! Pancakes and all the works. It was awesome! Three, we wanted plenty of drive time.
Well it went South from the start. Direction and navigation. I had this little gps plug in map navigation and insisted on using it over the nav already built in the vehicle. You know I got this husband stuff.
We drove, drove, and drove some more. Never once did it occurred to me we traveled on two lane roads for hours....never once did we hit 4 lanes until the next morning. More on that.
All along the way we hit all these little towns and burgs I've never heard of or been too. We even chatted about how some of the towns looked really neat and we might chance visiting them latter. Was astounded at one county seat and the old architecture and quaint town. Not once did it occur to me we spent more time at stop lights and running 35. Way up in the night we needed gas and nearly got car jacked at a poorly lit gas station in Georgia. Not two hours latter I almost ran over a county mounty running a DUI stop at an intersection. Fool was standing in the road with a flash light, no reflective, and no car lights. Was using the stop light to randomly check cars. Was a little heated but I explained my way out of nearly killing him. Still hasn't occurred to us our travel route was off somewhat. It is about this time frame we thought we should get a room. Where are we? Using road signs and google we found a place. Exhausted we pulled into bed at around 4 am with the plan to leave by 7 ish. We were now pushed to actually get to the boat before it left.
Groggy and trying to figure out how much further and why in the world we are cutting this close we head out. More two lane. Finally we hit Florida. I had traveled a few times with family and school to the area. I knew roughly what Florida seemed like. One highway and bam you arrive in hell. Well more two lanes and suddenly we get on the "major highway". You know the one that takes you right down the middle to all things hot humid and hell. Navigation makes us turn. More two lane. Hot humid hell. But we haven't arrived, not even close. Check clock, check destination, check wife's panicked expression. Oh look turning on four lane, yay we are gonna make it. Two miles turn again. More hell and two lane.
At this point the wife is questioning long travel with me and maybe her marriage. Me I'm damn confused. Being manly I say to hell with technology give me a paper map. Trying to regain my stature in the wild kingdom. This is also when I learn my bride cannot read a map. Up side down inside out you name it. She was turning it every way but right. Clocks ticking and we've swapped from two lane back to the same damn interstate two more times. I'm stupified, tired, and now embarrassed. I concede pull over and ask for the map. She wants to hit the store and ask for a navigational beacon. I calm my bride and ask where we was headed. I got I look like "I can tell you have no clue, we have been driving nearly 18 hours and now you ask?"
Five minutes, five minutes and we will be on the right tract. I study and what do you know this here one and only interstate goes straight to our destination. Calmed down assured and with the clock ticking we peel out in the mini. "Crossover" she reminds me.
We slide in side ways at the port. I muster all the luggage. My bag and here arrangement that would last normal folk a month. We shuffle in and she's carrying her wedding flowers. The ones I insisted we leave at home because fresh flowers make my allergies reel and it was a "long" ride. Geeze what a long ride. Well those flowers saved the day. A person working check in noticed and the wife replied with confirmation of marriage and a jab at her new husbands travel navigation methods. Being newly wed we got sped through check in treated like "special people" while most found out about my "special" driving. She's obviously not impressed and I just want to sleep. What a honeymoon this is gonna be!
After some alcohol and more then 3 hours sleep I drug out the nav thingy. Went back through the menu. Click check, click check, click check. Timeframe. Wait, what? Can't be right? We just spent nearly double that bumbling through 4 states. Try again. Click check, click check, click........and one line down. Avoid interstate travel!
