Funny Facebook status!

[Reid]

bullshit.

go on...try it.

 

[Black Bear]

i dont have to.. i have seen a grown ass man piss himself on a bet.

 

[/dev/ram]

And it's documented on film... ah shit, now I need more brain bleach!

Oh, and "If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. If you give a man a stick of TNT, there will be little unidentifiable fish parts all over the village."

--Jack Handy (1949--), U.S. humorist

 

[HAPPY]

A few of my Papaw's favorite sayings,

"Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day, set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life."

"I had a girl friend that told me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt, so I stuck it in 3 times and punched her in the mouth."

 

[rroadkilll]

 

[MarsFab]

Winner Winner. Thats great!!

 

[Degausser]

^I've witnessed that one firsthand. I thought about changing the girls password but didn't.

 

[cgm147]

btt i need a laugh

sent from deep space via galaxy S 2

 

[MarsFab]

I'm not sayin you're a slut but everytime you eat a hotdog you put a hand behind your head...

It's only a matter of time before my girlfriend comes crawling back.....
I still have her wheel chair....

 

[Kamel]

Bawhahahaha!!!

 

[cgm147]

lol

sent from deep space via galaxy S 2

 

[nctom]

I'm not sayin you're a slut but everytime you eat a hotdog you put a hand behind your head...

It's only a matter of time before my girlfriend comes crawling back.....
I still have her wheel chair....

Ding Ding Ding!

 

[livetorun]

did you know it is physically impossible to pee your pants on purpose?

It is not and I have proof.

 

[BrianGreen]

did you know it is physically impossible to pee your pants on purpose?

When you go to the beach and sit there all day drinking beer, where do you go to pee. I think most of us just walk out in the ocean and pee in our shorts. Then we walk around for a minute or so to "flush". Then we walk back to our chair and start drinking beer again.

 

[exploreit]

My latest status: "I often email myself pictures of ex-lax so my email flows freely" yeah its stupid

 

[Reid]

When you go to the beach and sit there all day drinking beer, where do you go to pee. I think most of us just walk out in the ocean and pee in our shorts. Then we walk around for a minute or so to "flush". Then we walk back to our chair and start drinking beer again.

try that at the mall.

 

[cgm147]

any new ones out there im sure there is

 

[MarsFab]

my girlfriend said she wanted to have a fairytale romance so i poisoned her apple.
i've decided ill never date a tan girl of any type, because it means they've spent some time out of the kitchen.
home.... where the HO and the ME come together.

 

[Black Bear]

"sometimes i sit on the toilet backwards."

 

[Mulishajoe]

I was having trouble falling asleep so I asked the wife how her day was.

 

[livetorun]

I see you're playing stupid again, and you're winning.

 

[RatLabGuy]

^ lolz

 

[YOUR-NEW-HotDogCouple]

Haha!

 

[cotyp]

Men want the same thing from our underwear that we want from women: A little bit of support, and a bit of freedom and no shit.

 

[cgm147]

Why do goats wear bells around the neck?












because their horns dont work lol