Giving/getting Christmas presents as an adult

UTfball68

UTfball68

Well-Known Member
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Jul 18, 2008
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I figure there is no better time to post something like this, so here it goes. There is no dynamic weirder to me than adults giving gifts that they can buy for themselves. I have no issues buyin for children, that’s fun...or kids still in high school/college (can usual help them out with ‘adult’ stuff they’ll need in the real world). And I’ll buy things for my employees, more as an extra bonus and token of my appreciation though. But the whole ‘here’s your $25 gift card, oh how nice, I got you the same thing’ or ‘here’s something I got for you last minute, even though you’ll never use it’...just eludes me. When I say that, a lot of folks think I’m an ingrate or Scrooge, or whatever you want to call me. However, if I can afford it, I probably already have it...if I don’t have it, I probably don’t want it. If I can’t afford it, it’s probably bigger than your budget for me.

I say all that to say, I’d much rather see that money go to good use...whether it’s $10 or $100 or $500 in some cases. I’ve been mulling it over for a couple years, I always love seeing those ‘secret santa’ videos where folks hand out $100 bills...can’t quite do that myself, yet...so I think next year, for anyone that feels compelled to put me on their gift list, to take whatever they were going to spend on me, and give it someone that could use it, take a selfie and give me that.

Now in typical NC4x4 fashion, poke holes in this idea. I know there are charities and sponsoring families or whatever, but I’d like to keep it local, and actually see who it’s going to. My only concerns with this is 1) what if they actually don’t need it and 2) creating any embarrassment on the recipients part.
 
My daughter who was 7 at the time decided a few years ago she wanted to raise money to help less fortunate people. She saw a homeless guy and asked a million questions in the car about his situation. That’s what sparked her campaign. I knew the “homeless guy” was not really homeless but a panhandling bum perfectly capable of working. He’s been “working” our food lion parking lot for years. At the end of the day he puts up his cell phone and hops in his car and goes home. Anyway, I wasn’t about to let her fund his booze account so we took all of the money she had raised and gave it to a local preacher. Told him the situation and he instantly knew of a local family that could use it. It was about $300. We got a thank you card from that person through the preacher. There was no embarrassment for them and we stayed anonymous. Worked out for everyone.

To answer your question, yes. Adult gifts are stupid. We only do grandparents and kids. I will surprise my wife here and there.
 
My wife and I buy gifts for our 3 kids, one of which is grown, married and has a child of her own. We also by for neices, nephews and my parents and hers. We also get the names and wish list of a needy family from our pastor and help a family every year. Kids get just as much fun buying for kids that really need it than they do shopping for themselves.
 
We actually do donate and sponsor families. But I’m not sure how to coordinate something like that with 15/20/30 other adults. Maybe do a crowd funding and then donate it all at once to the church.
 
My Family stopped giving adult gifts, years ago. First we went to drawing names, & then just finally stopped. You reach a point where there is [ mostly] nothing to give your parents, that they Don't have. And as adult siblings, we never needed Mom, to give us coats or shirts, that we Didn't want, Or need. That didn't stop the gifting 100%, but for the most part we have stuck to the "No Gifts" policy. I Agree, if you have Extra money, find a charity!
 
rodney eppes said:
My Family stopped giving adult gifts, years ago. First we went to drawing names, & then just finally stopped. You reach a point where there is [ mostly] nothing to give your parents, that they Don't have. And as adult siblings, we never needed Mom, to give us coats or shirts, that we Didn't want, Or need. That didn't stop the gifting 100%, but for the most part we have stuck to the "No Gifts" policy. I Agree, if you have Extra money, find a charity!
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Yeah...this is a relatively new shift for my family and friends. In the last 5 years, the majority of ‘kids’ are now out of college. And most of those kids and friends are now settled, and don’t need stuff for their house or new children, etc. So it’s gone from helping and taking care of your own to an almost awkward exchange.
 
We still do adult gifts in my family. Us siblings spend roughly $50 on each other, and $100 to 150 on our parents. We each make a list around thanksgiving usually on Amazon that my mom keeps up for each. All the lists are stuff that we intend to buy ourselves anyway, and I've actually ordered the stuff I don't recieve as presents within a few days of Christmas anyway the last few years.

For example last year I got the two newest Tom Clancy books (a standing tradition every year) and the door speakers I wanted for my truck. After Christmas I ordered the amp that I asked for but didn't get. Yea its a little crazy getting stuff I would buy myself anyway, and spending the same amount anyway on the others but it is kind of fun not knowing whats under the tree, plus my sister's kids like everyone having gifts.

Of course my sisters kids make out to the good, since neither my brother nor myself have any.

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I give gifts for to my parents grandmother gf and her parents and all of the little kids in the family.

My grandmother had cancer this year and instead of Christmas presents for adults we all donated what we could afford to the house she stayed at. ( I can’t remember it’s name but it’s free for them to stay while doing treatments)


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UTfball68 said:
However, if I can afford it, I probably already have it...if I don’t have it, I probably don’t want it. If I can’t afford it, it’s probably bigger than your budget for me.
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Quoted for truth! My mom's love language is gifts. So every year I make her an elaborate list of all the things I would likely buy in the next few months, or could put off for the past couple months. My wife complains about how much is on there, my mom buys most of it and asks if there's anything else. I sit back and enjoy the happiness it brings ol mom.
 
Loganwayne said:
I give gifts for to my parents grandmother gf and her parents and all of the little kids in the family.

My grandmother had cancer this year and instead of Christmas presents for adults we all donated what we could afford to the house she stayed at. ( I can’t remember it’s name but it’s free for them to stay while doing treatments)


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I want to buy you a whole sack of commas for you to use anytime you feel like it. For times like now, tomorrow, three days from now, and when it tickles your fancy.
 
McCracken said:
I want to buy you a whole sack of commas for you to use anytime you feel like it. For times like now, tomorrow, three days from now, and when it tickles your fancy.
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Oh I forgot to add I’m getting nicks kids anything I can find that makes lots of noise and has no batteries


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We do dirty santa for extended family. We buy gifts for the kids and our parents

Mom usually gives me a Lowe's gift card.

That's standard

This year I got a great bonus. As appreciation I wanted to do something for the boss. But what do you buy a man who can buy and sell YOU all day? Something he can't BUY. I was able to score a bottle of Blantons. Not something you can just buy. For some reason they only release a bottle like every few weeks to the whole damn state. He's looked for months for one and I happened across one last week. Presented it to him before we left Thursday and he damn near cried. That felt good.

Also I NEVER buy for friends, but this year I got my best friend something money can't buy either. Won't say because I haven't given it to him yet...but it's one of a kind deal...momento and something he'll cherish.

I got his wife something too, which is really out of character for me as well, but it was A time/place thing that she will remember.

I've never bought gifts for friends. I agree with the above 100% as far as buying for myself...but this year has been the exception for giving AND receiving
 
I wish I didn't, but still have to.

My mom likes to give gifts, and neither me or my sister (who are both in our 30s) have kids so there is no other outlet for it.

What's worse for me is my best friend's parents. They probably give me more than my mom... I am reasonably certain my financial means are better than theirs which makes me feel bad accepting it all; I give gifts back to them to keep it even or slightly skewed toward them which makes them buy more next year. It just turns into an arms race.

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We still give each other gifts. We're practical people, so nothing over $50 and only for a few people. It's still fun to get and give stuff, but yes there's nothing really special about gift cards unless it's for something like knives or fishing stuff where someone would have no clue the right thing to get me. I try to not get things I know people want, so I'm not just getting predictable stuff from a list.
We also make cookies and candied pecans abd stuff like that for people instead of giving actual presents. Cheap but still a nice token.
It still shocks me the amount of money people spend at Christmas. I know people who spend $300-500 each on their brothers/sisters/parents and that adds up to a couple of paychecks for those specific people, which is just silly. Then they get mad/hurt when it's not reciprocated for the same amount if money. It's all easily avoidable....
 
Fabrik8 said:
It still shocks me the amount of money people spend at Christmas. I know people who spend $300-500.
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That’s my wife’s parents and grandparents...makes me seriously uncomfortable. Growing up, I typically got one toy and the rest were essentials...socks, underwear, etc. They’re not buying love or anything...they can just afford it. But I don’t like it. As I typed the original post, the wife opened her grandmothers Christmas check...she’s original Food Lion investor money. But it was more than usual. In the past, I’ve let the checks expire..they’ll write another one, or hide the cash somewhere in the house. I’ll take a ‘normal’ amount out to buy the daughter gifts. Not sure if I’ll give the rest to the church or add to the daughters education fund.
 
Gift giving seems to get more difficult each year. I have everything I need so there isn't anything I can ask for. I think we just need to be more creative. A great gift I received this year was from a one the families we go rock crawling with. It a calendar with pictures from trips this year. What memories! Why can't I think of gifts like that? As far as charities I give a substantial amount to my church. After serving as a Deacon and an Elder I know my church gives wisely to worthy causes.
 
moldman05 said:
Gift giving seems to get more difficult each year. I have everything I need so there isn't anything I can ask for. I think we just need to be more creative. A great gift I received this year was from a one the families we go rock crawling with. It a calendar with pictures from trips this year. What memories! Why can't I think of gifts like that? As far as charities I give a substantial amount to my church. After serving as a Deacon and an Elder I know my church gives wisely to worthy causes.
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There are still a few things left I can get you even when you have everything. But you’ll have to wait until Christmas to find out. Haha
 
CasterTroy said:
We do dirty santa
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I really want to Google that but I'm afraid of what ill find.We still do adult gifts and honestly its becoming more of a burden every year.At my parents we just buy for them and they usually get us a gift card.They always buy for the Grand kids.We use to buy for my sisters kids (3 of em) and she would by for Jake,hes all we have.So we were spending $75 for her kids and she was only spending $25 on ours.When she married a dude that had custody of his two girls I said were out.Buyin for her 5 aint happenin.Christmas is kinda weird for me.My inlaws always have a big meal w presents and family and hang around all day.My parents usually have finger foods,and your gone in a couple of hours.This year dad mentioned wanting a pistol for Christmas since they have coyotes and hes at the garage late at night a lot and walks to the house in the dark.A month ago we were all goin in on one for him( me,mom and my sister) So my BIL lost his job,thats another story,and mom just couldn't give me any on it in the end.What he wanted wasn't very expensive by gun standards and I could have bought it for him by myself but I didn't.
 
Jeez ..... you guys are great!
I'm just a friggin' scrooge .... been called that for years.
Not even Christians seem to realize the reason for it anymore.

But I'm lucky. A wife and two grown daughters.
I throw them money and they buy the gifts.
Can't wait to see what I bought my wife this year!


Matt
 
I am in the give me a list and I will buy off of it. Absent of that I will not give birthday/Christmas gifts for a few years and then give a big present. A few years ago I got my brother $3-400 worth of wifi equipment so he could have internet at his house. This year I went in with my mom for a present to be seen
 
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