I hate Christmas

UTfball68

UTfball68

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 18, 2008
Location
Granite Quarry
There...I said it. Maybe hate is a strong word, but it’s a weird dichotomy. So psychologize me NC4X4. I don’t really have a good reason. As kid we were broke, sometimes Christmas came a week later for better deals, but have fond memories. As an adult, if I want something, I buy it. We moved back close to family, so I can and do see them when I want. I understand the Reason for the season, spent half the day working at church yesterday. I think if I had to narrow it down, the commercialization and mass gift card exchange coupled with a week long excuse to get out of work is what’s ruined it for me. Personally, I’m uncomfortable getting gifts, and have told folks I’d much prefer if they do the secret Santa thing you see online and give their budgeted amount for me to someone that looks like they could use it...otherwise get me bourbon or lottery tickets. And work, we’re closed down for the week, but I still worked a half day yesterday, then 4 til midnight was working at church. Took today to do presents with the wife and girls and family. But I’ll be back in the office during nap/bed times or when that gnawing I gotta do ‘blank’ overtakes me. I just don’t get it...I liken it to what I tell my wife for Valentine’s Day...I’mma frickin romantic year round, what do you need a day for?
 
Glad I'm not the only one. I'm the resident scrooge/grinch in my family. Can't stand it for essentially all the reasons stated above. The "let's buy everybody I've ever known a gift" is absurd to me. I get wanting to give to others...that's fine, but it's just gotten way out of hand it seems like.

Thanksgiving ftw! I'm all about the good food and time spent w/ family. The mass commercialization of Christmas has ruined it.
 
I feel much the same and I’m working as usual today so meh. I don’t want anything from anyone, gifts aren’t what the holiday is about. We didn’t have gifts growing up but we made it to church. That might have something to do with my feelings lol. I don’t understand grown adults wanting and expecting things from their parents. It irks me.
 
For me its the rush that kills it.Things here have been wide open since Nov.Everyday has been spent packing boxes,going to storage to get things to pack and rushing off,everyday,to USPS,UPS,Fed ex or all three before they close.I have two grandmothers living and combined w in-laws and then my parents there's no time to set back and enjoy Christmas w Tonya and Jake.Gifts are nice but we are to the point in life that if we want something we go get it during the year.Some would consider Jake as spoiled but he don't want for much either and when he does its usually some obscure item that's hard to find (like vinyl records).Try and enjoy it while your kids are small cause once the get older its not as much fun.
 
1-tonmudder said:
For me its the rush that kills it.

Try and enjoy it while your kids are small cause once the get older its not as much fun.
Click to expand...

Yeah...put my foot down on the rush this year. Told everyone we were doing one big event with each side of the family, I was starting my own traditions and events with my kids. I’m not going to get up at 5 to rush my kids through opening their presents, then tell them they can’t play with them because we have a breakfast to go to...then rush around the rest of the day battling nap and feeding times.

That said, you’re right, I did thoroughly enjoy my toddlers excitement opening her gifts this year, and then playing/putting them together the next couple hours. The wife implemented a pretty cool concept with a 5 gift rule...1 big present...1 learning present...1 present they need...1 present they can wear...1 sub-$50 present from Santa.
 
UTfball68 said:
Yeah...put my foot down on the rush this year. Told everyone we were doing one big event with each side, I was starting my own traditions and events with my kids. I’m not going to get up at 5 to rush my kids through opening their presents, then tell them they can’t play with them because we have a breakfast to go to...then rush around the rest of the day battling nap and feeding times.

That said, you’re right, I did thoroughly enjoy my toddlers excitement opening her gifts this year, and then playing/putting them together the next couple hours. The wife implement a pretty cool concept with a 5 gift rule...1 big present...1 learning present...1 present they need...1 present they can wear...1 sub-$50 present from Santa.
Click to expand...
When santa leaves the picture it sure knocks some of the shine off of the kids Christmas.Yeah its all a big ass lie but it adds a extra degree of excitement for the kids.
 
UTfball68 said:
That said, you’re right, I did thoroughly enjoy my toddlers excitement opening her gifts this year, and then playing/putting them together the next couple hours. The wife implement a pretty cool concept with a 5 gift rule...1 big present...1 learning present...1 present they need...1 present they can wear...1 sub-$50 present from Santa.
Click to expand...
So I take that as you said "this one is from santa" versus "all of these are from santa"???
 
Same. I am a Christian and have a strong faith and slightly conservative in that (I’ve loosened up along the way) but most people have totally lost sight of Christmas, the day we’ve set aside to recognize the arrival of Christ.

I find it terribly stressful with family, both my own and in-laws. It’s awful really. Smile, run all over the place, pretend it’s great to see people I ain’t seen since last Christmas. Tons and tons of gifts for the kids from all these people. It’s seriously March before my house gets back to normal due to the amount of toys and clothes the kids get and we can sort thru them and donate all the old stuff.

I’d much prefer visits with immediate family, 1-2 gifts each, and that’s it. I’ve been scaling it back and getting closer to that each year but that makes me the bad guy. I just hate crowds, and hate fake people and refuse to fake being glad to see people I’d rather not.
I 100% agree commercialization has ruined it.
 
77GreenMachine said:
pretend it’s great to see people I ain’t seen since last Christmas.
Click to expand...
I was w those folks last night and all they wanted to talk about was my health/heart attack.Im sure some did genuinely care but others were just being nosey.
 
UTfball68 said:
Yeah...put my foot down on the rush this year. Told everyone we were doing one big event with each side of the family, I was starting my own traditions and events with my kids. I’m not going to get up at 5 to rush my kids through opening their presents, then tell them they can’t play with them because we have a breakfast to go to...then rush around the rest of the day battling nap and feeding times.

That said, you’re right, I did thoroughly enjoy my toddlers excitement opening her gifts this year, and then playing/putting them together the next couple hours. The wife implemented a pretty cool concept with a 5 gift rule...1 big present...1 learning present...1 present they need...1 present they can wear...1 sub-$50 present from Santa.
Click to expand...

This! We have minimalized Christmas to a handful of gifts and one big thing like a bike.

And I pissed off ALL my in-laws cause I wanted to do my own traditions and not run all over creation. We are doing nothing but enjoying gifts and time with the kids today. And you would think I stomped on puppies with some of the family because of it. And I really don’t care!
 
77GreenMachine said:
This! We have minimalized Christmas to a handful of gifts and one big thing like a bike.

And I pissed off ALL my in-laws cause I wanted to do my own traditions and not run all over creation. We are doing nothing but enjoying gifts and time with the kids today. And you would think I stomped on puppies with some of the family because of it. And I really don’t care!
Click to expand...
My grandmother's are both 84 and I know there's not too many Christmas's left for them so I'm just riding it out until the time comes.Once they are gone I'm changing my Christmas routine.That sounds terrible I know.
 
Taking the commercial part out of Christmas is easy, if you spend less. Seriously, just lay down the law, tell everyone "this is what we're doing this year", and ignore any fallout.

Limiting the amount of money for gifts is an easy change to make, so you can give small thoughtful gifts instead of big expensive ones, and also limit the number of people that you give gifts to. This only works if everyone agrees on it though, else you still have people with hurt feelings. I know there are people who spend thousands on Christmas presents every year, but that's just ridiculous. I spend less and less every year, and we've never had some perceived obligation to get gifts for extended family like aunts/uncles/cousins unless we'll see them on Christmas. My wife makes candied pecans for her coworkers, and they love it. No purchased gifts, very little money involved. I don't get anything for anyone I work with.

Christmas is just about the only time of year I'm able to take vacation, so I'll never complain about a week long shutdown.

We don't run around anywhere, because the travel is too much and it's always very one-sided. People always want you to come visit them, but never offer to come visit you. Again, just do it and ignore the fallout. Explain your reasons, and move on with life.
 
Last edited:
GONOVRIT said:
I feel much the same and I’m working as usual today so meh. I don’t want anything from anyone, gifts aren’t what the holiday is about. We didn’t have gifts growing up but we made it to church. That might have something to do with my feelings lol. I don’t understand grown adults wanting and expecting things from their parents. It irks me.
Click to expand...
Definition of a grown adult has changed since I was a kid! I’m 34 and I see guys my age and older expecting lavish gifts from their parents, I’m like wtf how about you buy your expensive junk and spoil ya parents instead of other way around! I do fall victim to gifting/presents for the kids tho but I’m also the guy that breaks kids hearts and tells them Santa ain’t the man providing the presents he just delivers! Lol this year my woman and I decided to not buy for each other only for the kids and told our family’s we weren’t buying gifts for everyone like usual either finances and change of work plus vet debt wasn’t plausible and I feel like it really showed the older boys what it’s really about instead of how many presents you have to open!
 
Fabrik8 said:
Taking the commercial part out of Christmas is easy, if you spend less. Seriously, just lay down the law, tell everyone "this is what we're doing this year", and ignore any fallout.

Limiting the amount of money for gifts is an easy change to make, so you can give small thoughtful gifts instead of big expensive ones, and also limit the number of people that you give gifts to. This only works if everyone agrees on it though, else you still have people with hurt feelings. I know there are people who spend thousands on Christmas presents every year, but that's just ridiculous. I spend less and less every year, and we've never had some perceived obligation to get gifts for extended family like aunts/uncles/cousins unless we'll see them on Christmas. My wife makes candied pecans for her coworkers, and they love it. No purchased gifts, very little money involved. I don't get anything for anyone I work with.

Christmas is just about the only time of year I'm able to take vacation, so I'll never complain about a week long shutdown.

We don't run around anywhere, because the travel is too much and it's always very one-sided. People always want you to come visit them, but never offer to come visit you. Again, just do it and ignore the fallout. Explain your reasons, and move on with life.
Click to expand...

Fallout has never been an issue, if you haven’t learned by now...love me, hate me...I truly don’t care, from anyone...even my wife boohoo’ing we weren’t doing Christmas breakfast with her folks. I personally do take the commercialism out, but difficult when it’s in your face everywhere you go before Halloween...it feels dirty. It’s not even about the money, We usually splurge on parents and buy them an experience of some sort, kinda as a ‘thank you’ for going without and taking care of us. Siblings we usually exchange a bottle of booze or gag gift. Nieces/nephews get cut off at 18 but are capped at $25ish. My daughters went over budget at about a Benjamin each. Wife got a bottle of Dolce & Gabana Light Blue, since she was out of it anyway and hand made fridge magnets from the girls...I got a $50 mini Nintendo and some plain M&M’s because me and the toddler like a handful when I get home from work.

As for work/vacation...there’s always more work to do, and it’ll be there when you get back. No employee is irreplaceable...it survived before you, and will after you. If you’re the boss/owner, you have the benefit of scheduling how/when the work gets done...even if seasonal demand dictates. Vacation and time away from the office is important, I just feel it’s ‘impure’ to be justified for Christmas...to do what, sit around at home and complain about Christmas on NC4X4...haha.
 
My wife has been calling me a curmudgeon for about a month.

She absolutely loves every aspect of the season. Decorating, cooking, and gift giving. I will say she makes a lot of gifts.

Me I just want peace and quiet, see some folks, maybe even eek out time for a special friend or two.
Sit down have home cooked meals without everybody trying to out experiment on dishes too! Baffles me folks who try some new fangled dish for everybody to share.

Aside from that it used to be one of two times off for any time every year. It really blows to spend all that runnin the highways. If you or I haven't bothered catching up all year? Screw it. Not like where closer for fighting over ham or pie.

I like Merry Christmas because of my faith....what I want is folks to slow down enough for some reflection, relaxing, and finding some inner peace for a short while. It would suit me if the big event was worship and a Moravian Love Feast.

Its like my ideal New Years Eve. A small group, warm fire, warm hearts, a few warming drinks, and a evening of reflection.....
 
UTfball68 said:
As for work/vacation...there’s always more work to do, and it’ll be there when you get back. No employee is irreplaceable...it survived before you, and will after you. If you’re the boss/owner, you have the benefit of scheduling how/when the work gets done...even if seasonal demand dictates.
Click to expand...

If I was that bothered by it, I'd change jobs. Taking December vacation has been an acceptable solution though, and I'm not alone in that which is why it works well.
 
I hate the rush.
I hate the forced need to purchase loved ones affection.
I hate people
I hate leaving my house from 23-25th period
I hate the anxiety associated with dealing with extended family
I like the high of watching my kids open all those gifts, but I hate the completely empty feeling afterwards. All that build up, for a marginal delivery

This year my wife was sick so we couldn't do the whole extended family thing. Just the kids. And since my kids are all grown it was totally chill, and no over the top excitement. Thus, no massive crash afterward. So...its been the best Christmas that I can remember
 
Im with most of you.

My extended family all gets together on Christmas Eve, every year. We see each other more than just then, and all get along, so it's a pretty good time. That followed with candlelight service at church.

After we had our second kid and others in the family started having kids, the extended family decided to just buy for the kids. It's mostly hanging out and eating dinner together. Normally the traditional dinner with my family and BBQ with the wife's.

Since kids we have slowed all the running and spending money, and it has been much more enjoyable.
 
About the only thing I enjoy about it is the cooking. I'll buy the pricey food stuff and leave me be. Yes, it'll turn out great, and no, I don't need help. I ask that no one buy me anything so I won't feel guilty about not buying anything for them.
Sounds like a straight up bargain, right?
 
Fabrik8 said:
If I was that bothered by it, I'd change jobs. Taking December vacation has been an acceptable solution though, and I'm not alone in that which is why it works well.
Click to expand...

I never assumed you were bothered by it. I doubt very highly anyone is. I understand that time off is and can be a draw and perk employees enjoy. I also fully understand Thanksgiving to New Years is a shit time to do business for everyone but retail and logistics companies. I just feel the reason behind it is impure...given the reason. With this thread as an indicator...everyone gets worked up for a month, dreads spending time with people they don’t want to spend time with and then sit around for a few days doing nothing but stewing over the hell they just had to endure.
 
Last edited:
I'm with y'all.
Several years ago I had this epiphany, thought, whatever while Christmas shopping.
I was walking around a store trying to find something to buy for family member x. I hd no idea what they needed or wanted...I was just searching for something that would be acceptable and somewhat useful. Sort of a peace offering to a medieval king.
Your highness will this token of affection be acceptable?

Keep your gifts. Bring your family and stories and let's fellowship.

@CasterTroy nailed it with the emptiness feeling.

My wife and I are both from separated families...and then in one case the grands are separated and remarried also. We have like 9 Christmas parties leading up to the day. Of course everyone's is the most important to them.

I finally skipped going to Grandmas on Christmas night last year. I was closest to her, she raised me, she'd understand. And she did. I can't go this year. Lost her in May. Heading over to the cemetery in a bit with a flask of bourbon for me and a nice Italian dessert wine for her.
 
We have a pretty scaled back Christmas and I love it. When Jonas was really little we'd do the multi-family Christmas thing and hated it.
Starting in 2011, after we'd been up here in MD 3 years, we told the family, "We're keeping to ourselves".

On Christmas Eve, we have a few other families over for dinner - our friends who don't have families in town. This year there were 4 families. We have a dinner and the kids run around and its chaotic. Then everybody goes home, we do some cleaning and go to bed. That's enough socialization for us.
Christmas day - we (me wife and kids) get up, exchange presents, eat breakfast late - always monkey bread and bacon - then literally watch movies all day.
It's a rule - nobody gets dressed, no showers, nobody goes anywhere. Just movies, some series of 3-4+, sometimes bleeding into the next day (been through Star Wars, all Marvel, Back to the Future, Narnia... we're watching Indiana Jones today, currently on temple of Doom.
Our friends and family know we do this and just leave us alone. It's awesome.

The kids get 3-4 presents, and a stocking of random cheesy stuff from Santa. This year all of us got various colorful socks from Darn Tough (AWESOME socks BTW) Santa leaves 1 present. Wife and I usually have 1-2 things for each other, also we each make sure the kids have something for the other. I'd say total value spent on adults between us is $500 max, usually 2-300.

We have the same life philosophy as @UTfball68 - if there's something I want, I buy it, if wife wants something, she asks and then buys it.
So Christmas gifts between us tend to be things we normally wouldn't buy for ourselves, or hand-made stuff.
 
IMG_1798.jpg
Maybe I'll lend the library next year!
 
Back
Top