Inlaws going through separation.

It's really sad because they weren't always like this... Her Dad more so than her Mom but my wife has always had a really good relationship with her mom. Her and Dad's relationship has always been rocky, So I think her Mom not really reaching out is hurting her more than her Dad not really being there. Her brother just sort of blocks out everything and just doesn't deal with the drama, but he is also on the road a lot for work and just really doesn't have to deal with it, so it really falls on my wife to take care of things and she feels like she is there only outlet even though the reaching out is few and far between.
 
JSJJ388 said:
It was hard the first few months. Then we realized the peace and lack of drama without them. It does make it a lot easier that dad was incredibly abusive both physically and mentally. In my case, it's been 4 years and my dad hasn't so much as texted me. But he sure will run his mouth and pitch a sob story to his church buddies. When mom realized she was missing birthdays and that we were serious about cutting contact, she changed her ways and started putting in effort. Now that she's gone, I wouldn't say I regret it, but I do really hate that it had to be that way.
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I think my wife and I were hoping that they would realize what is happening, but guess they haven't and maybe they never will. I texted her Dad about 2 months ago and basically told him what they were putting their daughter through and how while her Mom was in rehab, he never went ONCE to visit her and how that fell on my wife if she needed anything and its just a whole mess. But even with me texting him and basically putting it out there, his responses were nothing but deflective.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
I texted her Dad about 2 months ago and basically told him what they were putting their daughter through and how while her Mom was in rehab, he never went ONCE to visit her and how that fell on my wife if she needed anything and its just a whole mess. But even with me texting him and basically putting it out there, his responses were nothing but deflective.
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He sounds like a lazy sack of shit.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
And I wonder for all of you who have cut parents out of your lives for whatever reason, how do you deal with it? I am not in the same boat as my wife, so I know I don't fully understand what she is going through.
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By realizing that I was prioritizing my kids over my parents...and my kids always come first.
By choosing to be the parent I wish I would have had.

By breaking the fucking cycle.

But what does deal with it even mean? You make a choice, you live that choice and you move on.
 
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