My wife went to grab a pack of TP to replenish the stock in our friends bathroom. When she grabbed a roll, the can and the whole pack fell. Upon impact the can ruptured. It was spraying everywhere (and in front of a dryer), when she bent down to pick it up it ignited. I was outside the door holding my toddler son. I thought my buddy was being an idiot and lit fireworks in the room. I even saw a flaming roll of TP exit the room after the FOOOOMFFF!
Wife screamed somebody help. I tossed the toddler on the ground and ran into the laundry room and threw her out. It was a fully involved fire the size of a coffee table and growing. That's when I screamed out of the fawking way and started tossing anything on fire out the door. The spray paint can was spewing 3' flames when I got to it.
Another dude was behind me and as I was throwing the first few flaming rolls of TP out the door he was running in. The look on his face was priceless, huge fire in the room and three or four rolls of flaming TP hits him in the chest. Nobody else came to the door until I jumped outside.
It's a miracle my wife only got some toasted hair, I got a blister and my buddy's house didn't burn to the ground.
He lives in Charleston so we spent the day on the river wakeboarding and having refreshments. Got plenty of salt water therapy today and more to come the rest of the week.