Slow Children at Play sign for driveway

[jeepinmatt]

As my kids get older and venture further from the house on their bikes (really because the rate of Amazon deliveries has increased and we have chickens), my wife has decided we need a sign at the bend in our driveway. It also transitions from pavement to gravel at about the same spot. She bought this:

To me, all I can see is:

And I want to cut the top off so it’s like this:

Who’s with me?

 

[Atla]

So.... you don't care about retards?

 

[Atla]

Gosh, I can't believe I said that.

At the moment it was funny. Even though I never use that word....

 

[YotaOnRocks]

If you want them to slow down your best bet is to make it uncomfortable to go fast. Letting that gravel get nice and washboarded will do way more than any sign you hang.

 

[CarolinaHD]

I gave up on getting anyone to slow down. I put up a gate and threw down some gravel so they can turn around without getting stuck. Well worth the peace of mind when you have small childrens and animals running around.

 

[jeepinmatt]

If you want them to slow down your best bet is to make it uncomfortable to go fast. Letting that gravel get nice and washboarded will do way more than any sign you hang.

I am not that worried. We have a mirror there and my kids are pretty sharp. It’s also a dogleg on gravel, not a 90 degree blind paved corner. I can swing it at about 35-40 on the dirtbike and SXS, but the Amazon driver is probably Colin McRae if he’s going more than about 20.

 

[jeepinmatt]

So.... you don't care about retards?

Generally no, but I care about MY retards.

 

[CarolinaHD]

But to answer your question, I agree with ya. Cover up “slow” or paint an exclamation point after it.

 

[Monkeynono]

Of no help but I have to know how long your driveway is if you can be doing 40mph?

 

[jeepinmatt]

Of no help but I have to know how long your driveway is if you can be doing 40mph?

450ft paved, 20-30ft from the pavement to the dogleg, and then about 700ft from the dogleg to the house. I think every vehicle I own has been at least 45 on either side of the bend. My car will hit 60 on the uphill pavement coming off the main road and still have enough time to brake and scrub off speed for the dogleg. The Alta electric dirtbike will hit 70 in about 350ft on the pavement but then you end up coming in too hot on the dogleg and can’t carry good speed on the exit. I’m pretty sure the sign is actually for me.

 

[RatLabGuy]

450ft paved, 20-30ft from the pavement to the dogleg, and then about 700ft from the dogleg to the house. I think every vehicle I own has been at least 45 on either side of the bend. My car will hit 60 on the uphill pavement coming off the main road and still have enough time to brake and scrub off speed for the dogleg. The Alta electric dirtbike will hit 70 in about 350ft on the pavement but then you end up coming in too hot on the dogleg and can’t carry good speed on the exit. I’m pretty sure the sign is actually for me.

 

[RatLabGuy]

"Slow The Fuck Down $!#%" Poster for Sale by SeanGluz

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[VortecJeep]

Turn those straight-aways into the Tail of the Dragon. You get to use all that big equipment you got, and you slow down everyone else. AND you can then work on your drifting skills.

 

[drkelly]

My driveway is about 500ft long with a loop in front of the house. The driveway is also not straight. Delivery drivers would frequently run off the edge and mess up the grass and bad drivers in the larger trucks/vans would have trouble making the loop. We have a couple of large stone columns with a stone wall at the front of our driveway. My wife bought a large box and we put it behind the wall. She somehow put notes in all the delivery files (Amazon, Fedex, UPS etc) to deliver packages in the box instead of at the house. It has been awesome.

 

[Ron]

My driveway is about 500ft long with a loop in front of the house. The driveway is also not straight. Delivery drivers would frequently run off the edge and mess up the grass and bad drivers in the larger trucks/vans would have trouble making the loop. We have a couple of large stone columns with a stone wall at the front of our driveway. My wife bought a large box and we put it behind the wall. She somehow put notes in all the delivery files (Amazon, Fedex, UPS etc) to deliver packages in the box instead of at the house. It has been awesome.

View attachment 443133

until you forget to check the box one week...

or if she is like my wife there is something in t everyday

 

[drkelly]

until you forget to check the box one week...

or if she is like my wife there is something in t everyday

We check it every day when we check the mail box. There is something in it almost every day, LOL.

 

[JoshRountree]

I bought one of these after one to many beers...

Not sure if it's helped or not, like someone said above the only real effective slow down is something physical, speed bump etc

 

[skyhighZJ]

Random but sort of relevant? Kids I went to HS with had a garage band. They were actually good. Like national battle of the bands good edging on a record deal. Their garage they played in was on an alley way in town and it had the good old Gov installed SLOW CHILDREN diamond shaped sign outside the garage. Their band name was Slow Children. Random things from growing up. YMMV.

Fast forward to today. We live on a private road and some of our smaller are free range. I have all the signage up at both ends of our property along said road and no one even pays attention and hails ass being fucking stoopid. I’ve lost ducks, chickens, geese, and turkeys because people don’t pay attention and 1.5 seconds of travel is more important than the lives of our farm animals. People are shit. Signs are mediocre at best.

 

[RatLabGuy]

Random but sort of relevant? Kids I went to HS with had a garage band. They were actually good. Like national battle of the bands good edging on a record deal. Their garage they played in was on an alley way in town and it had the good old Gov installed SLOW CHILDREN diamond shaped sign outside the garage. Their band name was Slow Children. Random things from growing up. YMMV.

Fast forward to today. We live on a private road and some of our smaller are free range. I have all the signage up at both ends of our property along said road and no one even pays attention and hails ass being fucking stoopid. I’ve lost ducks, chickens, geese, and turkeys because people don’t pay attention and 1.5 seconds of travel is more important than the lives of our farm animals. People are shit. Signs are mediocre at best.

speed bumps

 

[skyhighZJ]

speed bumps

Tried that and still watched them go Mach jesus while their wheel bearings and ball joints left the chat. I’m also a bit selfish so I like a smooth road.

 

[RatLabGuy]

Tried that and still watched them go Mach jesus while their wheel bearings and ball joints left the chat. I’m also a bit selfish so I like a smooth road.

Add a crazy bend / turn?

 

[jeepinmatt]

Stand outside nekkid. Nevermind. That will make em drive away faster.

 

[RatLabGuy]

Cutout of a cop car.
Or just a set of blue lights rotating behind some trees to grab attention and that Oh Shit response

 

[Southern_Transplant]

Construction I was going to say a construction sign about objects in the road. But @skyhighZJ's problem is all locals.

 

[LT1JEEP]

Tried that and still watched them go Mach jesus while their wheel bearings and ball joints left the chat. I’m also a bit selfish so I like a smooth road.

It's bad when a guy from Ky. drives all the way up there to turn in your yard and leaves tire marks.