Looks like we're getting back on track here. As many have noticed, I analyze song lyrics A LOT. My build thread is loaded with excerpt after excerpt from songs and applied to personal life events. I am a music nerd that spends years scouring the world for just the right sound and content, and usually, I end up finding it's origin to be in Europe and Scandinavia in the form of rock/heavy metal. I'll try not to cover duplicates from my build thread and keep it less....creepy.
"Well it seems that I was lost
In intoxicated nights
Following the trace of ecstasy
With no future and no past
Just the present was alive
Like a prisoner chained on to a dream
I was drowning in a feeling
That obsession rules
'till the morning kills the creatures of the night."
-Scorpions. "Every minute, every day", Savage Amusement 1988.
This is a flashback to my heavy years of drug use that started in 2004 and escalated after my first use of the drug extacy. It was literally a feeling of obsession over the control I had over my emotions with the use of opiates, stimulants and halucinagins. If I wanted to feel a certain way, I knew of a concoction that could unlock whatever door I wanted, and exactly how to mask it come morning when it was time to go to work. And yes, I was able to cure myself eventually.
"The treetops, the chimneys, the snowbed stories, winter grey
Wildflowers, those meadows of heaven, wind in the wheat
A railroad across waters, the scent of grandfatherly love
Blue bayous, Decembers, moon through a dragonfly's wings
Where is the wonder, where's the awe?
Where's dear Alice knocking on the door?
Where's the trapdoor that takes me there
Where's the real is shattered by a Mad Marsh Hare?
Where is the wonder where's the awe
Where are the sleepless nights I used to live for
Before the years take me
I wish to see the lost in me."
-Nightwish. "I want my tears back" Imaginarium
This one goes back to childhood and being a very strange child. I was tossed around, put in special classes, repeatedly tested for autism...you name it. I was a dreamer, above all. I loved fantasy. Alice in wonderland was a favorite movie of mine for the longest time. Throughout school years I was picked on a lot and it took it's toll on me. I never fit in at all. My grades were exceptional but my social anxiety kept me in misery. The only cure was to cope, and to blend in. I did, but it took from me what I charished the most; and that is my imagination. I've made it my life goal to get it back. It was a few years ago when I was out west that I met an angel. Her real name is Angelique, a Reno native that found me wandering around aimlessly and noticed my hidden uniqueness. She was a college student then that worked graveyard shift as a bartender. We would lay on the grass outside of her bar at 3am and stare at the sky for hours. She had a large tattoo on her back of a dragonfly. She's undoubtedly the most inspirational person Ive ever met. We shared closely guarded secrets of magic that very few minds could ever comprehend, and still to this day we share them. My quest to recover what I wished was gone will continue until the day I die. I am no longer ashamed of that gift.
Nocturnal poetry:
Dressed in the whitest silver you'd smile at me
Every night I wait for my sweet Selene
But still...
Solitude's upon my skin
A Life that's bound by the chains of reality
Would you let me be your Endymion?
I would
Bathe in your moonlight and slumber in peace
Enchanted by your kiss in forever sleep
But until we unite
I live for that night
Wait for time
Two souls entwine
In the break of new dawn
My hope is forlorn
Shadows they will fade
But I'm always in the shade
Without you...
Serene and silent sky
Rays of moon are dancing with the tide
A perfect sight, a world devine
And I...
The loneliest child alive
Always waiting, searching for my rhyme
I'm still alone in the dead of night
Silent I lie with a smile on my face
Appearance deceives and the silence betrays
As I wait for the time
My dream comes alive
Always out of sight
But never out of mind
And under waning moon
Still I long for you
Alone against the light
Solitude am I
In the end I'm enslaved by my dream
In the end there's no soul who'd bleed for me
Hidden from daylight I'm sealed in my cave
Trapped in a dream that is slowly turning to nightmare,
Where I'm all alone
Venial is life when you're but a dream,
The book is still open the pages as empty as me
I cling to a hope that's beginning to fade
Trying to break the desolation I hate
But until we unite
I live for that night
Wait for time
Two souls entwine
In the break of new dawn
My hope is forlorn
We will never meet
Only Misery and me
This is my final call
My evenfall
Drowning into time
I become the night
By the light of new day
I'll fade away
Reality cuts deep
Would you bleed with me
My Selene?
-Sonata Arctica. "My Selene" Reckoning night.
This is word for word a reality I live knowing that I will never find my human love. I've come close, but still there's emptiness. All I have left is hope. If I only live to be an inspiration to others, then my seed will truly be here forever.
