The embarrassed parent thread

Andy J.

Andy J.

Doin’ it LIVE
Joined
Nov 5, 2005
Location
Winston
This is the opposite of the proud parent thread. I need someone to commiserate with.

Today my 12 year old daughter was a guest at a friend’s house for a hour between swimming practice and when I could get over there to pick her up after work. In that time span she helped herself to a package of ramen soup from the pantry, taking a bite from the dry noodle brick and leaving the rest opened on the shelf, then helping herself to the ice cream and coffee to make herself a 16oz cookies-n-cream-coffee-smoothie which she took two sips of and then tossed in the trash. :gtfo:

This is only the tip of the iceberg.
 
Andy J. said:
This is the opposite of the proud parent thread. I need someone to commiserate with.

Today my 12 year old daughter was a guest at a friend’s house for a hour between swimming practice and when I could get over there to pick her up after work. In that time span she helped herself to a package of ramen soup from the pantry, taking a bite from the dry noodle brick and leaving the rest opened on the shelf, then helping herself to the ice cream and coffee to make herself a 16oz cookies-n-cream-coffee-smoothie which she took two sips of and then tossed in the trash. :gtfo:

This is only the tip of the iceberg.
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I can't believe you taught her everything you know. Now what?
 
jeepinmatt said:
I can't believe you taught her everything you know. Now what?
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this is so bad wife swap GIF by Paramount Network
 
My 5yr old came out of the bathroom after pooping the other day and my wife ask him if he had washed his hands. He gave her the most "you're an idiot" look while shaking his head and said, "it was just a little bit". So apparently you only have to wash your hands if you drop a big one :confused:
 
We were headed to Telluride from Montrose in September 2020 with some friends and their kids. One of my girls said she had to pee REALLY bad so we of course pulled over on the side of the road as it climbs out of town. She proceeded to take an enormous, hand wash worthy, dump on the side of the road right outside the bus we rented in front of everyone.

Good times.
 
Boy, I can fill this one up.
 
Ok I got one. This is on me though. My dad was good friends with Senator Thurmond. We were in DC visiting and went to the Senate Dining room to eat with the senator. I think Mom and Dad said I was 5 or 6. I preceded to tell them in a very loud voice. "I have to go poo poo!" Needless to say I'm sure I did a lot more over the years and I can't remember all the stuff my twin boys did.
 
awheelterd said:
My 5yr old came out of the bathroom after pooping the other day and my wife ask him if he had washed his hands. He gave her the most "you're an idiot" look while shaking his head and said, "it was just a little bit". So apparently you only have to wash your hands if you drop a big one :confused:
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6 year old nephew came out of the bathroom recently declaring how smart he was. He didn't have to wash his hands because he used his sleeve. I was like woah...wait...what do you mean you used your sleeve!? To wipe!? (Looks at me like I'm an idiot). "No FerFer, I used my sleeve to hold my privates, duh"


Years ago, his older brother came out of the bathroom butt ass naked while we were having dinner. He bent over & spread his cheeks saying someone needed to come wipe his hiney because his hands were too precious.
 
jeepin' jen said:
6 year old nephew came out of the bathroom recently declaring how smart he was. He didn't have to wash his hands because he used his sleeve. I was like woah...wait...what do you mean you used your sleeve!? To wipe!? (Looks at me like I'm an idiot). "No FerFer, I used my sleeve to hold my privates, duh"


Years ago, his older brother came out of the bathroom butt ass naked while we were having dinner. He bent over & spread his cheeks saying someone needed to come wipe his hiney because his hands were too precious.
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You spelled JOE wrong...."older brother" hahaha
 
3yr old told her teacher to go ahead and call me because ‘my daddy says not to do things grown ups tell me to do that I don’t want to’. My comment was in reference to hypothetical inappropriate touching. The teacher wanted my daughter to clean up her work center.

Recently my 5 yo daughter ‘ruined’ a surprise at school. This child is super perceptive. It was a surprise party and secret reader and a couple other things. During drop off she noticed a few things out of the usual…she noticed things through the window when in class…and she saw things during recess. By 10am she was announcing to the class what the surprises were and who was doing it. Not that terrible, except when her teacher started questioning her on how she knew ‘did your mommy or daddy tell you?’ My daughters response was ‘how did YOU not know??? You have to be stupid not to pick up on it’. And that’s when I got the phone call.

And then I’m not sure who this is more embarrassing for…me or my wife but…so far my two oldest prefer me helping them when they’re potty training. When asked why, they both say ‘because you have softer hands than mommy’. And they’re sure to tell everyone that tidbit of info when they need help and I’m not around.
 
Couple years ago my wife always packed a lunch for my daughter to take to school. One morning my wife realized she kinda dropped the ball and we are out of bread. So she says to my daughter “we don’t have lunch food, so you’ll have to eat school lunch today”
That translates to “my mommy said I have to eat school lunch cause we don’t have any food” so we get a call from the school as a welfare check asking if we need assistance.

When my daughter was 5-6 she got invited to my next door neighbors birthday party. Christmas was only a few months prior and we had some extra gifts that were duplicates, still in new packaging so my wife just used one of those as a birthday gift. No big deal right? Well the little girl opens it and my daughter immediately announces “I got 2 of those for Christmas so we re-gifted it!”

My wife was horrified, just so embarrassed.
 
We love going to the beach, so as my youngest (a boy finally after 4 girls) was sitting on the beach and said he needed to go pee, the older girls told him "that's the best part about being at the beach, you can just go down and pee in the ocean". So, he proceeds to walk to the edge of the water, pull his swimsuit down to his ankles and run the stream out to the waves, hitting every seashell he could spot. My wife was mortified - I was just impressed with the distance and accuracy. Thank goodness he didn't have to poop.
 
ManglerYJ said:
We love going to the beach, so as my youngest (a boy finally after 4 girls) was sitting on the beach and said he needed to go pee, the older girls told him "that's the best part about being at the beach, you can just go down and pee in the ocean". So, he proceeds to walk to the edge of the water, pull his swimsuit down to his ankles and run the stream out to the waves, hitting every seashell he could spot. My wife was mortified - I was just impressed with the distance and accuracy. Thank goodness he didn't have to poop.
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Its funny how when people see a kid doing that at the beach they just laugh, but if you or I did it we'd get arrested.
 
The most recent one that comes to mind was this past Saturday at my daughters soccer game. So they usually do a 30 min practice and a 30 min game. Well My daughter (whos 3) is usually pretty quiet and is very attentive, and I hadn't heard her utter a single word since practice started. Well she was sitting there with her group while the coach was talking and all of a sudden out of nowhere, My daughter yells out " My mommy forgot to put sunscreen on me this morning" and I bust out laughing and look at my wife and she is blood red in the face. I thought it was funny.
 
Got two, a boy and a girl, no story of them yet.

BUT

I was walking into Blackhawk Hardware (Ace for non-CLT people) out front is a donut stand, a few Dads with a few kids were waiting in line for donuts, I overheard one little boy say "Dad, need to pee!" Dad says "OK" (as in I heard the request I will figure out what to do, not an approval of the request), the kid has pants and underwear down in .0002 seconds and proceeds to pee on the plant next to him, I LoL out loud, dad looks at me, then to his kid peeing on the plant in front of the whole parking lot, also proceeds to LoL.

Kids are great!
 
My youngest son Stephen has given us quite a few lately. He's 2.5 and a ball of angry quirky fire. He has really begun to notice the differences in men and women and routinely states, unprovoked, that girls have boobies and boys have tictoks. He ask the very shy college age girl helping in nursery yesterday if she had boobies. He ask the girl that helps in his daycare class the same thing a few weeks ago. My wife pointed out that neither of them have much in the chest category so maybe he is just trying to verify that they are in fact girls even though they don't have much to show for it
 
This was 2 years ago, I’m chilling down at Holden beach, building a sand castle with my boy. I sit down to relax a bit after that. My wife had went back to the house with my daughter for something. There’s is a group of ladies to my right, clearly there for a bachelorette party and they’re taking pics and rotating who’s not in the pic. So being the nice southern gentlemen I am I offer to take a pic of all of them.
About that time my boy comes up and says he’s gotta go to the bathroom. I said “go out there in the shallow water like we talked about, and quite announcing that you have ti go to the bathroom son, just do it casually”

So I’m chatting away with these ladies who are all black and from Maryland so they think my accent is just awesome. My wife walks back up and is pissed, not because I’m talking to these women, but because my boy is in ankle deep water dropping a turd and we notice it about the same time, as does the bride to be and the rest. But he left is swim short on to be “casual” and thought it would rinse away and no one would know.

Good times.
 
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