The "Life Advice" Thread

WARRIORWELDING

WARRIORWELDING

Owner opperator Of WarriorWelding LLC.
Joined
Jan 6, 2008
Location
Chillin, Hwy 64 Mocksville NC
I couldn't think of any other way to puts this so the title bears the gist...

I have my faults. Several actually. I try to be me in all my human glory. From time to time I like to listen to motivated speakers, preachers and the like.
I do from time to time need a kick in the arse. My Grandfather and hero quietly battled depression. I found him with no face and mostly no head after taking his on life. I have inherrited this trait. I know it and confront it like dealing with diabetes. Its just who I am. My father died at an age I needed him most. I was a young unprepared father in a single family income situation. I was born premature and weak. My intestines where on the outside of my body. In my very young years I was always medicated and sickly. Asthma always kept me in a weezy fit as I played every sport I could. My first marriage was an on going lesson of bad approaches to life. Sins, drugs, and life mistakes were it's halmarks.
Now at what I feel is a midpoint on my journey I have learned and matured. I feel wiser and yet more open to learning than I ever have in 41 years. My experiences and my loving upbringing have made me who I am. Formost I am a Christian with plenty of worldly faults a work in progress.

I thought from time to time it would be neat to post things that ring true and inspire. Hopefully helping someone else along the way.

These are the 3 rules Lou Holtz wished he knew when he was 21. - Watch or Download | downvids.net

Contribute and comment at will....And God Bless.
 
I can relate I've lived all my life with a rare life threatening disease, I was raised by the finest parents when I done writing my that was all one me. I have done terrible things that I pray god will forgive me for, I went through a time where I lost my grandpa, girlfriend, and child back to back. There is no excuse I've done terrible things I went from being the guy that didn't drink to meeting with the cartel within a few weeks. I know right and wrong but often I find myself in a daze I know that there is more to life then what I'm living many days I feel lost I know in my heart that Jesus Christ is my savior but often I still wander what more is there to life, am I the only one that feels this way, how can I right all the wrongs, and why do I question my faith when I know that Jesus is the answer to my prayers.
 
Jesus passed by a blind beggar, and his disciple asked if it was the sins of his parents that caused him to be born blind. Jesus replied, "It was not because of his sins or his parents' sins," Jesus answered. "This happened so the power of God could be seen in him." We all struggle with life...I was born a sinner, am a sinner, and I will continue to struggle. God puts us in a position to choose to trust in him. Blindly at times. If there was proof it wouldn't be faith. We all struggle, and it is natural. Luckily, the blood of Jesus redeems me daily, and I can do all things(Phil 4:13).
 
GotWood said:
Elope. Save your money for the divorce.
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Worked for my first marrige. Darn expensive from "I do" all the way too "I'm done."
Best thing to come from that experience was my son.
 
anvilrubi said:
I can relate I've lived all my life with a rare life threatening disease, I was raised by the finest parents when I done writing my that was all one me. I have done terrible things that I pray god will forgive me for, I went through a time where I lost my grandpa, girlfriend, and child back to back. There is no excuse I've done terrible things I went from being the guy that didn't drink to meeting with the cartel within a few weeks. I know right and wrong but often I find myself in a daze I know that there is more to life then what I'm living many days I feel lost I know in my heart that Jesus Christ is my savior but often I still wander what more is there to life, am I the only one that feels this way, how can I right all the wrongs, and why do I question my faith when I know that Jesus is the answer to my prayers.
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@anvilrubi

I thought about this a while read it a few times. In the form of a question I came up with my best answer taught to me by common people just like us.

The questions, the mistakes, and the "lack of faith" is all about the "walk".

Its a journey. A called relationship. Just like a friend, club, or spouse. The only difference is the one perfect side. The one always listening, never changing personality. Try getting that even out of your best friend.

Also why we are supposed to have the church. And why people are really jacking that up. Worship is daily the church was for the walk. A trail, guide post, and fellow hikers along the way.

If you get the chance pick up a copy. If you like the AT trail or hiking you'll enjoy this breath of fresh air. Really changed my point of view.

1505052449751-2114174076.jpg
 
I'll add a little something nontraditional since I love topics like this.

Every person walking this planet knows some thing that you do not. It's up to you to go obtain it. Getting to it requires breaking barriers, not just the obvious language/cultural barriers, but the ones more challenging must be broken as well. Open the mind, hang the prejudices, silence the outgoing, and sharpen the senses. It does get easier afterwhile. Beware music or repetitious sounds that mimic the sleeping heartrate because it will numb the ability. With every human interaction you make, there lies a potential for obtaining knowledge. With every conversation you have, you can pick up on truths and ideas from this person that could be seemingly useless at first, or it could be the most useful bit of wisdom you've ever been given. The human memory is extremely powerful and people are very generous with passing on what they know (having collected) without even realizing it. Take what you can use and always give back.

Situational awareness/attention to detail are the ultimate catch 22. Dialed in they can completely replace 50% or more of any verbal communication. When you discover the way to dial it in, the information reception goes a lot quicker and easier. However, once their levels are dialed in and highened, it's very difficult to turn it off, and can lead to social anxiety and depression, requiring complete seclusion from people for a certain period of time.

How you'll know when it's on the verge of having a mind of its own (yet still manageable) is when every public place you go you can hear (and could reply intelligebly when needed), seven or more conversations going on simultaneously around you detailed in its wide array of accents, dialects, and letter emphasis. Secretly you know that at any point you could enter this remote discussion and carry with it an exact duplication of each participating person's vocal tone and word pronunciation at will, as if you were included in it all along. Instead, you're the silent lonely individual sitting by himself with no bad intent, only a curse you've placed upon yourself. That is very hard to turn off.

Welcome to the deep end.
 
Four tidbits of wisdom I've adhered to in my life:

1) If money is the problem, you don't really have a problem.
2) If you can change the circumstances, there's no use in worrying. If you can't change the circumstances, there's no point in worrying.
3) If someone before you has done it, you can too, if you're willing to work for it.
4) Never think you're above the team/group. Regardless of how good you are, you're always replaceable.
 
The boy is up at WCU in his junior year. He's still unsure what he wants to major in. He won't TELL me he's unhappy but he'll tell his sister he's not.

His mother (my ex-wife) is a great parent, and a good person overall, but has made herself miserable, and is generally a very unhappy person. She's never at fault for anything, and has always played the victim in every situation. I do my best to NEVER talk about her in a negative light or address her faults, and how to avoid becoming like her to the kids directly. I try and take an approach that won't be too obvious. But occasionally I'll write them a little note to "help them along".

This was one from yesterday

benadvice.jpg


I try and pass on thing when they come to me. Maybe some will stick. I do my best to lead by example. I believe it speaks louder than standing in front of them with a megaphone
 
What @CasterTroy said about siblings is another relateable topic. Perhaps not all, but most siblings have a very strong personal bond that lasts a lifetime. My little sister is 2 years and 2 months younger than me. The only time ever that I thought we may have drifted apart was about 8 years ago when she got married and moved across state. She's the mother of two now and has her own life, so im very proud of her for tgat. Oddly enough, a period of months can go by without us talking to one another and immediately it's like we got back to that brother/sister no secret kept understanding we've always had, just like nothing can phase it.
No advice here other than to stay close to your siblings. I bet you my bottom dollar that they know you better than anyone in the world.
 
UTfball68 said:
If you can change the circumstances, there's no use in worrying. If you can't change the circumstances, there's no point in worrying.
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This. My wife always asks me why I don't stress out about much, and that sums it up very well.
 
Here's a couple of my thoughts through the years:
-"I'm old enough to know better, but dumb enough to do it anyway."
-In regards to figuring out how to make or fix something: "People dumber than me do it all the time"
-"Large, complex tasks are composed of small, simple tasks. Therefore, there is nothing that one man cannot do, given enough time."
 
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jeepinmatt said:
Here's a couple of my thoughts through the years:
-"I'm old enough to know better, but dumb enough to do it anyway."
-In regards to figure out how to make or fix something: "People dumber than me do it all the time"
-"Large, complex tasks are composed of small, simple tasks. Therefore, there is nothing that one man cannot do, given enough time."
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I should tell myself the middle one more often. Somewhere I learned to be supper critical of myself and mistakes. I have to be careful or it spills over to other people and their mistakes.

The last one my wife uses all the time in an analogy of; "how to eat an elephant.....one bite at a time".
 
WARRIORWELDING said:
I should tell myself the middle one more often. Somewhere I learned to be supper critical of myself and mistakes. I have to be careful or it spills over to other people and their mistakes.
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You need to realize......MOST people go thru life afraid they'll be exposed as a fraud. IMHO, those that are wildly successful, are many times placed there on the backs of hard working people who are honest with themselves and don't believe they can get away with the fraud, so they bury their heads and do what they KNOW they're confident in, critical of all their own mistakes...mostly ones no one ELSE would see or be critical of. I would bet if you if you strapped many a tycoon down and pumped them full of truth serum, they'd confess to "fake it till you make it" being their mantra, and they were so successful at making others believe in them and their BS...to the point where it didn't matter any more...they were so high up they didn't have to show anything to profess results. These type A people, have BS'd their way for so long they even start to believe their own hype. And with today's society, where it's not PC to question anyone any more...you'll see these rats making their way to the top more and more (see politics)

Self criticism is a GOOD thing....but realize, everyone ELSE is so focused on themselves, they have little time to see your mistakes
 
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@WARRIORWELDING , very inspiring to hear your story brother!! It's always always awesome to hear other people's testimonies/struggles/life haps that God has brought them through. We all have struggles and I love hearing people living with peace and joy no matter what they have or gone through because as one mentioned, that is what Faith in our Savior is!! To hear about your birth and childhood that is even more amazing to see where you've come from that past and have pushed through all the years. I appreciate other people's stories, especially real tough ones, since I come from a third world country where 10yrs growing up was quite different than most could imagine here in the states. That's another story though that I can share some other time to not hijack your thread.
What God has taught me in the last 15yrs of my walk of Faith:
Live for Him, to do His will everyday. Be the best I can be for His kingdom and to represent Him and His ways of life the best I can. I used to kick myself pretty hard when I would fail but I've learned to forgive myself as He forgives us.
Walk the walk not just talk the talk!!! Being a doer of the word each and everyday no matter what/where/why/how or who we come across.
Love for myself and others has been not too bad for most part but really hard with others, especially family. God is Love so we must be also and that is SOO hard sometimes when we go so far out of our way for others.

Well thanks for sharing some of your story an keep on the good fight brother. Keep your head up, eyes on Him, hear and mind on His ways and be looking forward to His return sooner than later!! Shalom friend, God Bless You and your family!
 
WARRIORWELDING said:
@anvilrubi

I thought about this a while read it a few times. In the form of a question I came up with my best answer taught to me by common people just like us.

The questions, the mistakes, and the "lack of faith" is all about the "walk".

Its a journey. A called relationship. Just like a friend, club, or spouse. The only difference is the one perfect side. The one always listening, never changing personality. Try getting that even out of your best friend.

Also why we are supposed to have the church. And why people are really jacking that up. Worship is daily the church was for the walk. A trail, guide post, and fellow hikers along the way.

If you get the chance pick up a copy. If you like the AT trail or hiking you'll enjoy this breath of fresh air. Really changed my point of view.

View attachment 253889
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Just finished reading that book, thanks to your suggestion. Kind of puts some things in perspective. It was a really good read.
 
tlucier said:
Just finished reading that book, thanks to your suggestion. Kind of puts some things in perspective. It was a really good read.
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I am reading it again.....my son said he would like to read it also. Glad you found it enjoyable.
 
Since this is life advice thread...bad day today. Hired a young friend of mine, worked with him previously and had a pill/opiate addiction. Through his brother, mom, and I, we thought he had it beat. He's been working with me for at least 3 months now (different/my company). Came in today high, and sniffling and trying to hide it from me. Confronted him and made him take a home piss test. Failed for cocaine. I offered as much help as I could if he would tell me the truth. Completely denied anything, said he only smoked a blunt over the weekend and it must have been in there. I know he's lying and in denial. I had to let him go. Great worker, great kid. I just can't enable him by putting money in his pocket. I feel terrible, and also gonna be hurting at work for a few weeks at least.

If he would be honest with me, I could work with him. Everybody f's up. I can't deal with a liar though.

Did I do wrong? Love to have him work and get clean again. If he comes clean about using, he's got his job back and we can go from there. Complete denial though, even looking at failed drug test, he still denies.

Looking for advice here, I want the best for him. Not sure I handled it the best, but I can't can't have him high on the job, and I know he was.

Advice appreciated.
 
You gave him more than enough chances before and during the fact. You've even taken it a step farther by offering one more that he may never would anywhere else. That is, forgiveness. It's appearant that he is of great value to you as a friend and employee. The fact that you've offered to help time and time again makes you the best friend he could ever have. I can tell you that by him not being honest about it is not out of spite of distrust, but because he is very embarassed about it. He first had to let himself down. Letting you and his family down was devistating to him. This I know. Cocaine is a critical step to things much worse. If there's a way you already have planned to help, time is crucial.
 
XJsavage said:
You gave him more than enough chances before and during the fact. You've even taken it a step farther by offering one more that he may never would anywhere else. That is, forgiveness. It's appearant that he is of great value to you as a friend and employee. The fact that you've offered to help time and time again makes you the best friend he could ever have. I can tell you that by him not being honest about it is not out of spite of distrust, but because he is very embarassed about it. He first had to let himself down. Letting you and his family down was devistating to him. This I know. Cocaine is a critical step to things much worse. If there's a way you already have planned to help, time is crucial.
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I love the kid, as I said, hard working and basically family, don't wont to push him out beyond repair. Tough subject though cause people like him need love family.
 
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