Young marriage

Bad, I got married at 18 the first time, then again at 22 the second time. 24 years later its over, Don't do it.
 
I married at 39.

Spent two decades hiking, camping, canoeing, climbing all over the southeast and some out west. My work allowed a lot of 3-4 day wwekends at that time...for several years i was camping over 100 nights a year.

When i finally met my wife, i had a lot of wanderlust out of my system

Maturity changes a heck of a lot from 20 to 30, and still more to 40...makes it easier. We have discussions, not disagreements.
 
Get out and enjoy life until you are mentally/emotionally ready(and your mate is too) to settle down. My now 26 year old son has followed my advice and after about a 1000 woman and tons of fun/travel he got it all out of his system. He found his soul mate. They do not plan on marrying until after they live together for at least 5 years. Very mature if you ask me.
 
That is a question with extreme variables and different opinions.

Marriage is not about you. Its about loving the other person and committing to be beside that person until death. Always seeking to make that person happy and not yourself. Thru the good and the bad. If you always think with your significant other in mind and how your actions and decisions will effect them and not just you that's the key. The other key thing is communication. You have to be able to talk about everything. That's just my limited input as I am engaged to marry my best friend in May.

Good example about commitment. My fiance is a CPA for a large financial firm. This time of year she works 65-70 hours and is stressed beyond stressed. Guess who gets the brunt of all her frustration? Me. Its not easy, but I do my best to be patient and understanding with her thru this time. Its very hard on us right now, trying to raise a 2 year old daughter of hers and keep a cool head while she is ready to freak out at any minute due to her being so tired and stressed. Key thing is in April she will be back to normal and not work but 4 days a week and be back to the girl I love so much. I lover her anyway, its just especially hard right now. You cannot simply give up and say your done and gonna find someone else as so many do these days. Marriage isn't about you, its about the other person. And if that person thinks the same way it will be fine. Age is just a number, its your maturity level that matters.

And my personal belief is that a marriage is something that needs to be built around God. That is the number one thing in my relationship with my fiance. We keep God at the center of everything.

Next tip, if you haven't prayed hard about it and your not 100% sure. Just wait.
I'm sure some others can chime in with better advice. That's all I got. I'm young myself (25) but I would not want to be with anyone else or raise my kids with another woman. They are hard to find these days, so when you got a good one don't let them go. But don't move too fast. Me and my fiance moved fast, and that has made it harder than it needs to be. We see that now. But we wouldn't change it.
 
Depends on the maturity level of each person. Like 77 said. There are extreme variables. But logic does tell us that for the most part the more mature you are, the easier it will be to communicate and communication is the #1 key to a successful relationship.
 
I'm with 77greenmachine. I got married at 25 and have been with my wife 9 years (married 7). It's takes commitment and maturity. Most people in their 20s don't have that but a few do.
 
Me...
Started dating my wife at 15
Graduated college, Married and a child at 20

That means we've been together 20 years now and married 14...


The biggest thing Ive found is MARRIAGE is different than a relationship. Marriage takes work. The relationship should not. IF you struggle just to like each other consistently...throw kids, bills, stress and life in the mix and you have no chance in hell at happiness. I never struggle to liek being around my wife...I struggle not to strangle her occasionally and she resists the urge to beat me in my sleep daily Im sure...

I'm a big believer in marriage is about "fit" it is not about "mr/ms right" or good person bad person...Ive seen friends who I love both dearly both are great people. Put them together and you have hell. They have both remarried and both are happy as heck..

Summary: Young Marriage is neither good nor bad. The same mistakes plague a young marriage as an older one. The difference is when you are young you frequently dont have the knowledge, maturity, experience to find the right fit. But young marriage isnt doomed just because you are young.
 
Don't do it!!
 
Alexbranch said:
Is young marriage good or bad?
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That question should have been worded differently... such as: "Is imature marriage good or bad"

Age doesn't have much to do with it. Those (male and female) who are 20-30 something going on 13 should avoid it... far too many kids growing up without fathers. :popcorn:
 
Cory said:
Marriage is just a piece of
paper.
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If that's your attitude going in, plan on a lot of paperwork going out of it. Divorces are EXPENSIVE. (although mine WAS worth every penny)

When I married my second wife (who I am married to now and the mother of my three children), she informed me that divorce is not an option, but death is.
 
ManglerYJ said:
If that's your attitude going in, plan on a lot of paperwork going out of it. Divorces are EXPENSIVE. (although mine WAS worth every penny)

When I married my second wife (who I am married to now and the mother of my three children), she informed me that divorce is not an option, but death is.
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Mine was $250. Just know what you're doing if you're thinking of an exit strategy this early in the game.. I knew better being my second time on the wagon.
 
At the ripe old age of 19, I stole my wife's parking space in 29 palms Ca almost 26 years ago. She cussed me out and i proposed 2 months later. We were married 4 months after that. I am still immature but love my wife more today than i did in 1988. of course in 1988, i was just looking for some tail. Not much has really changed. Marriage is all about give and take. I give her my paycheck and she takes it.
 
The most important thing to remember in any marriage. The husband needs to go ahead & learn to say "Your right" & "I'm sorry"& "It's my fault". Your gonna have to say it before the aurgument will be over so it doesn't matter if it's true or not just say it & move on. It makes her shut up sooner. LOL!!! ;)
 
barnee said:
The most important thing to remember in any marriage. The husband needs to go ahead & learn to say "Your right" & "I'm sorry"& "It's my fault". Your gonna have to say it before the aurgument will be over so it doesn't matter if it's true or not just say it & move on. It makes her shut up sooner. LOL!!! ;)
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Could not be more true. Its always your fault, she's always right and you can't win an argument.

You can be right and miserable, or you can be wrong and happy.
 
Jeff B said:
Mine was $250. Just know what you're doing if you're thinking of an exit strategy this early in the game.. I knew better being my second time on the wagon.
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If you are going into it with an exit strategy in mind, why bother getting married in the first place? The initial post was asking about if getting married young was a problem. Your marriage will be worth exactly what you put into it. If you go into it with the attitude that it's just a piece of paper, then it will be worth just that. If you go into it with the attitude that this is the person you want to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE with, then your marriage will be worth something you'd bet your life on. Since the "exit strategy" of life is death, and your vows state "till death do us part", then the exit strategy of your marriage should be death as well. In marriage, some days death may feel like a welcome change, but for the most part, your marriage will be one that people will look to.
 
I dated my wife for three years, while we both finished up college.....celebrating 14 years of marriage next month. Finding the right person & being the right person for them makes all the difference IMHO.

Being right does not win an argument.....sometimes makes it worse - flexibility on both sides, regardless of age, can solve a lot of problems.

Good luck.
 
ManglerYJ said:
If you are going into it with an exit strategy in mind, why bother getting married in the first place? The initial post was asking about if getting married young was a problem. Your marriage will be worth exactly what you put into it. If you go into it with the attitude that it's just a piece of paper, then it will be worth just that. If you go into it with the attitude that this is the person you want to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE with, then your marriage will be worth something you'd bet your life on. Since the "exit strategy" of life is death, and your vows state "till death do us part", then the exit strategy of your marriage should be death as well. In marriage, some days death may feel like a welcome change, but for the most part, your marriage will be one that people will look to.
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I keep a fire extinguisher in the kitchen, but I don't expect a fire. I wear my seat belt however I do not expect to be in an accident. I carry a weapon, but I don't expect to use it. Marriage is no different..
 
Ron said:
Me...
Started dating my wife at 15
Graduated college, Married and a child at 20

That means we've been together 20 years now and married 14...


The biggest thing Ive found is MARRIAGE is different than a relationship. Marriage takes work. The relationship should not. IF you struggle just to like each other consistently...throw kids, bills, stress and life in the mix and you have no chance in hell at happiness. I never struggle to liek being around my wife...I struggle not to strangle her occasionally and she resists the urge to beat me in my sleep daily Im sure...

I'm a big believer in marriage is about "fit" it is not about "mr/ms right" or good person bad person...Ive seen friends who I love both dearly both are great people. Put them together and you have hell. They have both remarried and both are happy as heck..

Summary: Young Marriage is neither good nor bad. The same mistakes plague a young marriage as an older one. The difference is when you are young you frequently dont have the knowledge, maturity, experience to find the right fit. But young marriage isnt doomed just because you are young.
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This sums it up right here perfectly. Pretty much same as me. Met wife at 16, married after college at 22. Waited till 26 to have our first kid, though. Been together almost 18 years and married almost 12.

Like anything in life, you have to work on it. It is a lot harder when you are younger because of maturity issues. When you get older things make more sense, and it seems like you lose a lot of selfishness as you age.
 
77GreenMachine said:
Could not be more true. Its always your fault, she's always right and you can't win an argument.

You can be right and miserable, or you can be wrong and happy.
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Hey now....not always true....:D it takes 2 either way. Marriage does take a lot of work on both sides...just a female's opinion. Lots of compromise. Best of luck in whatever you choose to do. Only you know what is right for you. It is a big change because you do have someone to think of other than yourself so just make sure you are ready for that commitment.
 
Ron and 77Green both put it well. I agree with others, if you have to ask this question, wait. If it's right you'll know.


I met my wife when we were both 17, dated all through college, married right after graduation at 23. Not extremely young, but we were the first out of our group of friends to get hitched. Never questioned it once. Best decision we've ever made, married my best friend.

77GreenMachine said:
Could not be more true. Its always your fault, she's always right and you can't win an argument.

You can be right and miserable, or you can be wrong and happy.
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To quote Ralphie May
Ralphie May said:
My father passed on one important piece of relationship advice before he died. He said son, in a relationship you can either be right or you can be happy. Youll soon find out that you dont care that much about being right.
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Here is my take. My fiance adn I were supposed to get married this year...but we just don't need the financial burden at this time...so we have decided to wait until next year. We have been together for almost 8 years.
I tend to dislike other people telling you about your own marriage. some people are just different. My fiance and I argue, I get irritated with her, and I sometimes just want to get in my jeep and drive....but I wouldn't want to argue, get irritated, or drive away from anyone else.
I know that I want to be with her and I know I want her to be the mother of our kids (whenever we decide)
But we have to understand that women are just different...the less we try to fight that...I think the better us men become.
Maturity is a big thing right now. Out of my fiance and I...I am the more mature one....Now I say that loosely because I do still giggle whenever I see a pair of tig ol' bitties and I do have a perverted sense of humor, but as far as getting things done as far bills, house work, important documents, appointments...Im usually the one who takes the throne....She is getting better at it....but she grew up never really having to do anything for herself.
I say marriage at any age can be bad or good. Its the effort that both of you put into it that make it worth while and rewarding.
questioning that does not mean that you are not ready, it just means you would like some advice...but in the end, only you can decide if your ready. To me, Marriage is nothing but a piece of paper, its the relationship that you have with your spouse and the time and effort you both put into it that makes it marriage and makes it work.
 
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