That one person that always tries to "one up" you.

Cherokeekid88

Cherokeekid88

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2007
Location
High Point, NC
So my brother in law used to be a really cool dude to be around. He has the same personality as me and we just clicked from the very beginning. In the last 1-2 years, he has become this self centered douche sometimes. Looking back, he would call me to talk and ask me about certain things or ask me if I had heard this song or seen this video, you know, chit chat. Then those phone calls became "Hey, can you come help me with my route (he was a wine rep), or hey can you come help me do my brakes on my car, or fix my stereo, or watch after my house while I go on vacation" And I always did, because after all, that is what Family is for...or so I thought. Then, the calls stopped all together, stopped asking us to come over to their house and usually everytime we did, we ended up babysitting their 2 girls and buying our own dinner....
Then the annoying stuff started happening....anytime I would get anything new or started talking about us wanting to go here or get this or do this...He would always beat me to the punch. Anytime, Id get new shoes or new clothes or a new gun or anything and he found out about it...he would want to go get the same but better.
Last year, my girlfriend and I got engaged...I didn't say anything to anyone. I pop the question and give her a ring. Him and his girlfriend (now wife) got wind and wanted us to come over. He asked how much I payed for the ring and I told him a ball park of what I paid. Well, less than a month at the thanksgiving dinner table, they announced their engagement (now, both of these humans have both been maried once before, my girlfriend and I were first timers) and were making comments on how your suppsed to spend 3 months salary on the ring, her ring was of coarse bigger and better than the one I got for my lady.
So fast forward almost one year, my lady gets pretty sick and ends up in the hospital for a couple days...they never come to see her and when she gets out...2 days later, we get a call from our realtor saying that our offer was excepted on a house we wanted. The night we find out, she gets a text from her brothers girlfriend saying "congratulations on the house and im glad your finally out of the hospital, oh by the way, how do you like this wedding dress?" along with a picture of her wedding dress.
Then a couple days later, we find out that the wedding is going to be the day we are supposed to be moving into our new house....they knew when we were closing.
Just wanted to rant a bit, see if anyone else has gone or is going through this with someone in their life. Its really frustrating because I feel that I push them both away because of the way that they act and treat everyone in their family. I feel bad not seeing them but at the same time, they put no effort into trying to see us or make time for the whole family to hang out.

Do I just bite my tounge?
 
Have you called him out on it??? If the relationship is already bad and you don't see much of them, can't get much worse. Maybe he really doesn't realize he's doing it. Personally, if you're the bar they have to beat to feel accomplished, I'd take it as a compliment.
 
At least my brother in law appreciates all the shit I do for them and my sister is pretty awesome. As long as you and your lady are content, to hell with what they do or say. Tell him he's being a douche and start calling him out on it in front of as many people as you can. If nothing else, it'll probably make you feel better!
 
tknopp said:
What ages are theses two?
Click to expand...
The in laws? Brother in law is 29 and sister in law is 32
RenegadeT said:
are you nailing his sister...or is he nailing yours?
Click to expand...
His sister is my fiance.
UTfball68 said:
Have you called him out on it??? If the relationship is already bad and you don't see much of them, can't get much worse. Maybe he really doesn't realize he's doing it. Personally, if you're the bar they have to beat to feel accomplished, I'd take it as a compliment.
Click to expand...
I used to look at that way, but now I think its just to make themselves feel better and make us angry. I have not called him out on it because my fiance won't let me...she feels it would do more harm than good.
Croatan_Kid said:
At least my brother in law appreciates all the shit I do for them and my sister is pretty awesome. As long as you and your lady are content, to hell with what they do or say. Tell him he's being a douche and start calling him out on it in front of as many people as you can. If nothing else, it'll probably make you feel better!
Click to expand...
Sometimes we wonder if its his wife...she came from a marriage with a man who made really good money and her sister's husband is Kevin Jepsen from the Angels, So I think she feels the pressure to have nice things like she used too....
But just to give another example.....We found out that Kevin Jepsen and his wife were coming to town to stay with My brother in law and sister in law and we wanted to meet him and I had bought a brand new Angels hat for him to sign and when I wanted to come over, My brother in law made it like he didn't want to be bothered with autographs and stuff, although after Kevin Jepsen and his wife left their house, My brother in law had gotten a bunch of stuff signed by him.....
Croatan_Kid said:
At least my brother in law appreciates all the shit I do for them and my sister is pretty awesome. As long as you and your lady are content, to hell with what they do or say. Tell him he's being a douche and start calling him out on it in front of as many people as you can. If nothing else, it'll probably make you feel better!
Click to expand...
This is what Im thinking.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
this wont work...he would want to see it or for me to send him pics....
Click to expand...

Then you could tell the family that he wanted you to send him cock pics. Win either way.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
Last year, my girlfriend and I got engaged...I didn't say anything to anyone. I pop the question and give her a ring. Him and his girlfriend (now wife) got wind and wanted us to come over. He asked how much I payed for the ring and I told him a ball park of what I paid. Well, less than a month at the thanksgiving dinner table, they announced their engagement (now, both of these humans have both been maried once before, my girlfriend and I were first timers) and were making comments on how your supposed to spend 3 months salary on the ring, her ring was of coarse bigger and better than the one I got for my lady.
Click to expand...
He has proven he is an idiot and a sucker, I'd have no problem ignoring him from this point on.
 
I would suspect he thinks your not good enough for his sister and he's purposly trying to antagonize and upset you while pretending to be your friend. I would tell him exactly how I felt about his behavior or call him out/tell him how I felt about his BS if it was my BIL. Then the balls in his court and he can either respect you and his sisters relationship or at least he'll know you are'nt a dumbass and won't put up w his shit anymore. I know i'm not perfect, but I am honest and don't put up w alot of BS, family or not, I call a spade a spade, or tell peeps what I think of their bad behavior and do'nt mind if they think I'm an asshole for doing it.
 
Some relationships are just toxic. You try and you try to be the better person, give the benefit of the doubt but it just always ends up being you that gets the worst end of it.

CUT ANY TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND DO NOT LET IT BOTHER YOU AT ALL.

I sweated a family situation for years and worried myself sick about it. I woke up a few years back and just cut it off, best thing I ever did. Brother, life is too short to have ANY relationship that does not enrich your life. If it hurts or sucks, get rid of it. You have zero obligation to add suckage to your life because someone else is a dick.
 
Have you ever read Desiderata? You should! It'll make you feel better about ignoring them :D
 
He really is a good person at heart. We used to have alot of fun together, but he has just become this person that everyone in his family seems to think is going south.
I am not competing with anyone. I try and be my own person...I like things and do things for me not anyone else.....he does the things he does for attention and for everyone else. But when I try to do my own thing, I feel that he likes to try and do the same but better.
I pretty much have cut off seeing them unless its a family gathering. He did go to the Eagles concert with me last Saturday, but that wasn't up to me. He was actually quite pleasant, but I also didn't follow him around like a puppy like I used to....I made him come to me if he wanted to talk or laugh.

Its a shame that people change for the worst. I know that people grow up and have families but that doesn't give you the right to be an arse.

as far as someone saying him thinking I am not good enough for his sister....I don't think that is the case at all. We have been together for 8 years and I have never gotten that impression....although, I don't think he really sees me as one of his "equal friends" I think we are kinda bound together only through my fiance/his sister
 
Next time he tries to 1 up you, smile and quietly say "I fucked your sister"
 
Of course in all seriousness the one possible missed item, Is what is his sister saying about you to him. If she complains about even something small it can lead to some hard feelings
 
Back
Top