Eating at the table

Do you eat at the table?

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McCracken

McCracken

Logan Can't See This
Joined
Jul 9, 2005
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With your mom at a nice seafood dinner
Do you actually do it? We've gotten into a bad habit of crowding around the TV at night. So much that my little girl has a tray that she uses on the couch. For the first 2 years we didn't let her watch TV but she's definitely made up for lost time. She's 5 now and can't even answer a question because she's zoned out (B, the house is on fire you need to run....Uh..o...k...what now :shaking: ). We're going to start getting back around the table for dinner but even that has complications. She wants us to read stories to keep her entertained. There seems to be a bigger issue but I think getting her away while eating is the first step.
 
We did not eat at the table when my kids were growing up. In hindsight I wish we had. I can't think of any significant time we had with all of us together just communicating. If I were doing it all over again I would want to eat at the table with no electronic devices allowed.
 
We ate at the table growing up until sometime when we were in high school, we just drifted away from the table, plus most nights I was working.

My current dining room table is a storage table/work bench that gets cleaned off once a year for Christmas dinner. I need to get another table to put by the window in my kitchen, I use to have a round checkerboard table with stools there my wife an I would eat dinner at, it wasn't exactly a dinner table but it was nice to eat without the TV in front of us.
 
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Young children should have limited "screen time". The American Academy of Pediatrics has stated maximum amounts per day in incremental age brackets. I've read that those figures were arrived at before the boom of the digital age and that they will be revising them sometime in 2016.

We try to keep our kids (4.5 and 2) limited to the screen time. In fact it is rare they ever see TV during the week. When it does happen its because they are tired and hungry and it helps keep the peace while preparing dinner. Typically, we try to have our kids earn daily behavior points to go toward a reward at the end of the week, like watching Fronzen for the 1100th time. That being said, we totally deviated from that during the past snow storm.

We eat every meal at the table as a family. I am even trying to get the kids to ask to be excused and take their plate to the kitchen. Its cool when my 2 yr old asks to be excused and takes his dishes to the kitchen!

Eating in front of the TV won't be an option in the near future for our family.
 
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We almost never eat at the table anymore, except for traditional holiday meals, I think it is important to eat at the table until the kids are in their teens, so they can learn proper table manners, but after that, I don't think it's neccessary as long as the family still has the kind of communications that were traditionally at the table previously. If you don't have that without gathering at the table, I still think it is a fine way to acheive it!
 
Grew up eating at the table. As a teenager, you'd still better have a good excuse if not there at dinnertime.

Too many kids now don't know how to have dinner, much less a dinner conversation. What do you think happens when they finally make it thru college, and have a business dinner? FAIL. Because they don't have a clue. You gotta know what that little fork is for, and how to converse.
 
Absolutely. Every night. We eat dinner at just about the same time every night, unless there is an unusual event or sometimes on the weekend if we're doing something.
TV off, we sit at the table. Only on rare occasions, like a Fri night we'll have a special "movie night" and all eat in living room while watching a movie together.
Sometimes on Saturdays we'll have a casual lunch and we'll let them leave the TV on and angle it so it's visible from the table. I hate that b/c the kids just watch it then and won't talk to us.

I grew up in a home where family dinner time was considered sacred. No TV, everybody talks about their day and what is going on. Nobody eats until everyone (who is in the house) has sat down and is ready. Nobody left the table until all finished. As a kid I HATED this but later I realized how important it was for me and the family. The result was that we always knew what each other were doing and felt like a cohesive unit.

My wife's family was the opposite - Mom cooked dinner, set it out, kids would come and get the food and leave to eitehr go watch TV or eat in another room. I vowed, and she agreed we would never let that happen - it's like she was just a waiter and it basically breeded a sense of disconnection in the family.

IMO - and this is just my opinion - thiis is very important. I really believe that "the family that eats together, stays together". You have to teach the kids that listening to your family members is priority #1. Not less important than TV or some gadget. I think it also helps with the attention span thing, and learning good manners. We don't let them down from teh table until everyone finished eating. This is REALLY hard for the 5 y/o b/c she is impatient (being 5) and a picky eater, often says she dosn't want her dinner. So we tell her OK but she has to sit and wait, bored, for teh rest of us. After awhile she'll eat anyway b/c she realizes she's not getting down and has nothing else to do anyway. Plus our son is really sllloooooow - which makes it hard for us... but it helps encourage him to hurry up if we're all waiting on him.
Probably teh hardest thing for my wife and I is to ignore txts etc at the table. We at least won't pick up the phone until we are both done eating and waiting for the kids.
We take turns talking about our day and what we did, or things coming up, or some random weird science factoid that Jonas thinks is amazing and Delaney thinks is stupid.

Many days (most, even) I find myself having to pry myself away from work so I can get home in time for dinner, thinking "Damn family, I wish I could just keep working on this" but then by the end of dinner, it's changed to, "OK now I have life back into perspective".
 
this is one thing we have done since we had kids and now we try to do it every night.

yes, there are days where one of us is running late from work or on a work trip etc, but we still eat at dinner table every night even just with one parent and kids..

the exception is once in a while we will do a movie night and eat dinner and popcorn and watch a movie together..
 
Oh yeah, like others stated above:
- This is really the only time I can predict we are all together, at least during the week. Invaluable.
- We have the kids ask to be excused, whether it's to go to the bathroom or get a drink. Also every person is responsible for ensuring their dishes are rinsed off and put in the dishwasher. The 5 y/o has done it for a year at least. Also invaluable.
- when I was a kid my Mom and grandmother were explicit about table manner, fork placing, sizes, passing left, waiting to eat, napkin in lap etc. Thought it was dumb. Now I've been to a couple really nice and important business dinners where younger folks looked like asses b/c they had no clue. You can spot the trained gentlemen from others a mile away. Does this really matter? In many many lives, no. But you never know when you're young where you're gonna end up later.
 
At the table always. Once in a while as a special treat we may eat in the living room and watch tv.
I grew up eating at the table as a family and I can see how important it was. It's one of my best memories in fact. Hearing about my dads day at work, telling of our days at school, joking and cutting up. Great family bonding time.
A little hard at the moment with a 3 month old, sometimes one of us has to rock him while the other sits at the table with our daughter but we are all still communicating. One eats fast and switches with the other.
This is a very needed thing in families today, and personally I don't think anything can replace it. We all eat together, we wait till all sit down, and we thank the Good Lord for the food we have. My 4 year old always wants to be the one to ask the blessing now.
 
McCracken said:
She wants us to read stories to keep her entertained. There seems to be a bigger issue but I think getting her away while eating is the first step.
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She is not in control, right? Although good that she wants to be read to, dinnertime is for eating and talking as a family.
 
We didn't eat dinner as a family growing up and didn't know what I missed until me and the wife got together. We had dinner every Wednesday night at her parents and it was nice to sit and talk with no distractions. Something we will do when we have kids for sure.


As far as proper dinner manners I could care less about the proper fork to use or what hand you should eat with or what side of the plate the drink is supposed to be on. I went to my brother's wedding last year (they're both doctors and her family is very rich) me and my wife were the odd couple. Probably the only 2 there that knew what manual labor is. I had to ask what the food was on the menu because I didn't know fancy talk for taters with cheese and what not. I was not ashamed of it and I will never end up a stiff that feels compelled to wear fancy clothes and act fancy. I got married in blue jeans and a shirt because that's who I am. Won't change for anybody. If you don't like simple o'll Matt then that's fine with me.

Don't get me wrong my parents raised me with respect and I still say yes sir and no sir everyday. But the so called dinner manners are retarded in my eyes.
 
Sometimes we eat in front of the TV but it's usually pizza night or on the weekends but never during the week.

Bri and I get home from work around 630-7 so it's difficult to sit down as a family. Usually it's the nanny feeds the kids at 530 and Bri and I fixing something for ourselves when we get home.

We are trying to change it up where we get home earlier but for me, it's difficult when contractors work till dark and it's another 1 hour drive home.
 
rockcity said:
Sometimes we eat in front of the TV but it's usually pizza night or on the weekends but never during the week.

Bri and I get home from work around 630-7 so it's difficult to sit down as a family. Usually it's the nanny feeds the kids at 530 and Bri and I fixing something for ourselves when we get home.

We are trying to change it up where we get home earlier but for me, it's difficult when contractors work till dark and it's another 1 hour drive home.
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This is me a times. On some days I won't get home until 6:30 or 7. It makes it tough when they're whining about being hungry at 5.
 
We used to always eat at the coffee table because we didn't have a dining room. Around the time Robert was born we moved for a few months (to renovate our old house) and the rental had the space, so we set up a table and realized it was great for many reasons.

Kids watch PBS and eat breakfast at the coffee table most weekday mornings while I take care of the dogs, the baby, and help get @shawn out the door to work. They still ask to do this most mornings and sometimes we sit at the table and the tv is never on that day. Weekends, we eat breakfast at the table... Even if we're at the Outpost. ;)

Snacks and lunch are eaten at the dining room table or they sit in the bar stools at the kitchen island while I'm prepping for dinner or cleaning the kitchen. Sometimes their afternoon snack is while they watch a show, maybe once or twice a week.

Dinner is always at the table, always by 6 or 6:15 and sometimes earlier, whether Daddy is home yet or not. We usually are still eating, or will sit together and talk about our day while he eats. 'Movie night' is maybe once a month on a Friday or Saturday. Our kids consider most anything longer that 15 minutes a "movie" so usually we just watch something together after we have eaten supper.
 
This is a great discussion. I will throw in what we do.

2 kids: 5 and 2

Wife's family always ate at the table growing up. My family growing up was on TV trays watching Jeopardy or Wheel of Fortune.

My wife and I always ate at TV trays in front of the TV until we had kids. Once the first one was born we have eaten at the table with no electronics, and no one answering their phone every single night. My oldest must use good manners including asking to be excused and putting her plate in the sink.

I find it is almost the only time we all get to sit down together and really talk, and see how everyone's day has been.
 
rockcity said:
Bri and I get home from work around 630-7 so it's difficult to sit down as a family. Usually it's the nanny feeds the kids at 530 and Bri and I fixing something for ourselves when we get home.
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I think this is the hard part for most families. I usually work until 6 so it's 6:30 when I walk in.
We made the choice awhile ago that it was OK for her to work part time and be home by the afternoons, which means she can make dinner at a reasonable time. Normally they are sitting down or even starting by the time I walk in.
But this only works b/c of her work schedule. We take a pretty big financial hit compared to what she could make, but to us it's worth it for now at least, and thankfully I make enough that we can swing it.
I realize many families are not so lucky and this creates a real struggle to do things at the right time.
 
We eat all meals at the table with the exception of Saturday (or if the kids are home from school like this past week) lunch. Then, they can eat in the playroom in front of the TV. Otherwise, we are a no-tech meal household. No cell phones at the table (even goes for the older girls when they come home for a meal on occasion). It's nice to be able to sit down and talk to each other (verbally!).
 
If family's home at the table if just me and the dogs in front of the tv typically
 
I have always ate at the table, thats how i was raise. When we went to my girlfriends parents for the week of christmas, i was the only one that ate at the table and her whole family thought it was weird.
 
I am also very thankful that we can do this as much as possible. Here is tonight.

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