Building a house?

[kaiser715]

There is a lot of satisfaction in seeing your own design come to life. After a year in, it's still neat when I notice a nice little design feature that I figured up, and am reminded of how well that idea worked out. Like deciding to inset a couple of doors between closets so when you looked down the main hall it wasn't door-door-door down either side of the hallway.

I now know why every spec house, and lots of customs, you go in are either white or agreeable gray everywhere inside. We have something like 12+ different rooms, and every one is a different color. Me lugging my "box of rocks" in and out of stores all over the state -- a milk crate (later, two) filled with samples of paint, tile, granite, flooring, etc. Hours and hours spent looking at paint chips (or more aptly, waiting for my wife to look at paint chips). Many of them almost but not quite the same color. Mushroom/moss/fungi/fungus/etc/etc to no end. Hours and hours and hours. Working families and builders don't have the time, so it's just spray it white or gray and be done.

 

[junkxj]

Don't do it. Building a house was the most miserable experience of my life.

I agree. Building my current house was the most stressful thing I have ever done.

3 reasons why

#1 people suck
#2 people suck
#3 people suck

 

[a_kelley]

I agree. Building my current house was the most stressful thing I have ever done.

3 reasons why

#1 people suck
#2 people suck
#3 people suck

you forgot reason #4 - people suck

 

[junkxj]

you forgot reason #4 - people suck

No, that is #5. #4 is people suck ass.

 

[drkelly]

Building a house was the best experience of my life.

We have built 2....the 1st was the same year we got married. Renee moved in about 2 months prior to the wedding.

The last one was a great experience. You have to stay on top of things, and keep one step ahead of the contractor, anticipating his needs. So you aren't surprised at that 5pm Sunday phone call "hey, I forgot to ask you, what tile do you want in the master bath...tile guy starts tomorrow". We had a lot of stuff like tile, countertops, etc picked out before the roof was on. Starting out ahead really helped us out when a couple of our parents had health issues and had to downsize in the middle of all we had going on.

You also have to resist the urge to change. And keep your spouse in control. We added very little dollar-wise to the house once construction started. Biggest was doing a brick/concrete patio instead of a wood deck. About a 12k difference. It's easy to say "we're spending a few hundred K dollars, whats a few hundred more..." $500 here and $1000 there adds up fast.

Our contractor was building another house at the same time ours was going up. Maybe 3-4 weeks ahead of us in the process. They hired some fancy-pants decorator to pick colors. They'd look at flooring or tile samples and approve. Paint patches would go on the walls and they'd pick. THEN the guys wife, AFTER paint, tile, cabinets or whatever was up, would decide that she didn't like it, and have it changed. Whole house was done in a pale yellow. Whole interior was repainted 3 times. Because it "looked different" when the whole thing was painted, vs a sample patch (or whole room). Same with tile in bathrooms, cabinet faces, etc. On the day the brick was halfway up the exterior walls, she decided to add a window, and move a couple of others. If you have a wife like that, homebuilding is NOT for you.

I wish my builder would have called me at 5pm on Sunday, or answered his phone at any time during the weekend when I called him over those many months that he was building our house. That was only one of many unique problems that made our house building experience miserable. I have detailed all of them on this website before.

We moved into our new house about six years ago. The plan was to live here until we die, but very recently we have been talking about moving. I guess dreams and circumstances change. I told my wife that I will not build another house, and that we will need to find one that we like as-is or one that only needs minor modifications.

 

[Blaze]

Well, I think we might actually do it. I have a friend who works with houses, he started buying and renovating a few years back but apparently has gotten in to new construction. They've been doing a few small subdivisions and I talked to him about possibly buying some land by me that I think it about to go into foreclosure, and the owner had started to develop. We might go in, I buy the land and then take what I want and he develops the rest and builds my house.

 

[obullfish]

Well, I think we might actually do it. I have a friend who works with houses, he started buying and renovating a few years back but apparently has gotten in to new construction. They've been doing a few small subdivisions and I talked to him about possibly buying some land by me that I think it about to go into foreclosure, and the owner had started to develop. We might go in, I buy the land and then take what I want and he develops the rest and builds my house.

This could ruin a friendship. Just my.02

 

[Loganwayne]

This could ruin a friendship. Just my.02

truth... Ive had two friends ask me to help build their house for them. basically ask me to be the GC since i already have all the contacts for everything. i will not do it. i know how picky they can be and how wishy washy, and all the things they would expect to be done for free.

 

[CasterTroy]

There is a lot of satisfaction in seeing your own design come to life.

This

I compare it to owning a black vehicle: If you can handle the extra level of management (either not LET the fact that it shows dirt and flaws more than ANY other color, or stay on top of it and take pride in doing so) that it requires, then you're going to really enjoy seeing it come to life. But if you have a turd for a builder, or have tried to have a life and GC the project yourself, it will forever leave a bad taste in your mouth

Working families and builders don't have the time, so it's just spray it white or gray and be done.

insert puke emoji

I HATE gray. Our current house is warm tones. The wife started with wanting gray after the hotel we stay in down in Wilmington to visit our daughter remodeled with gray tones. I catered to her for a while but ultimately won her over to warm tones for our condo/garagemahall

You have to stay on top of things, and keep one step ahead of the contractor, anticipating his needs. So you aren't surprised at that 5pm Sunday phone call "hey, I forgot to ask you, what tile do you want in the master bath...tile guy starts tomorrow"

I wish my builder would have called me at 5pm on Sunday, or answered his phone at any time during the weekend when I called him over those many months that he was building our house. That was only one of many unique problems that made our house building experience miserable.

I've know a LOT of people who've built. And of those who had a bad taste in their mouth and never wanted to repeat the process, THIS was the main reason: Lack of response from builder


My builder is someone I've know since I was 5yrs old. We grew up in the same church. I know his parents, my mom taught him in sunday school, we know all the same people. And while we've known each other most of our lives, we're not close "friends" so there's no relationship to ruin. However, we mutually respect one another and wouldn't do anything to damage the others reputation. He txt's me almost daily. Lets me know weeks in advance when something is scheduled. Helps me to coordinate my site efforts with what sub is there. Couple that with my wife's experience, and we've had colors, tiles, cabinets picked out weeks before it was dried in.

He called me yesterday at 3 because the painter had the 1st cote of wall color on, and he wanted me to run by and make SURE that's the color we wanted (was way too dark in his eyes) before he came back today for the second cote. Thinking that of we didn't like it the painter could go lighter. But it was PERFECT.

The Condo/garagemahall was kind of my test to see if he was the man I wanted to use on the forever-house build. And he passed the test with flying colors. Once I sell our current home we can get on his schedule for house construction. I had to wait 8 months to secure my spot with him on the Condo/garagemahall but I'd MUCH rather eat at a restaurant that has a wait than one that's barely got any customers.

 

[rockcity]

Go for it. Just make sure communication lines are open and stick to deadlines. I usually tell my better-half that I’m choosing “x” tile or paint if she hasn’t picked something out by a certain date. This usually keeps them on top of things and forces them to make a decision quickly. I typically don’t let her change anything after it’s purchased and installed, I can’t afford to paint the house twice or stain the floors more than once; we just live with it and make slight changes on other items (counter tops, cabinets, fixtures, etc) to work with a wall or floor color that isn’t exactly what we wanted.

I’m in the process of designing our forever home with the help of some good professionals. The wife keeps changing her mind on several items, mostly because she is in the medical profession and doesn’t understand how to take 2D drawings and visualize what it will look like. I’m a GC and can visualize this, but Bri, not so much. But we are getting there, and is taking forever because of this.

Now we get to build this one and another on some land in Maine we found. Why not just do two at once, 16 hours away from each other. Anyone know the number to a divorce attorney, ya know, just in case.

 

[CasterTroy]

I’m in the process of designing our forever home with the help of some good professionals. The wife keeps changing her mind on several items, mostly because she is in the medical profession and doesn’t understand how to take 2D drawings and visualize what it will look like. I’m a GC and can visualize this, but Bri, not so much. But we are getting there, and is taking forever because of this.

This is my biggest hurtle. I have to build scale models of everything so she can see what it looks like. Even with a revit model she has a hard time being in the space unless she's IN THE SPACE.

We were in the kitchen of the Condo last night...cabinets going in next week and she was STILL struggling to understand the walking path. I had to layout the cabinets in blue tape and then hold up a partial piece of sheetrock for her to grasp what they would look like. The woman is smarter than I'll ever be in many aspects...but for the life of her cannot grasp 2D/3D concepts

 

[Blaze]

This could ruin a friendship. Just my.02

Well, we are friends, but not really close friends. Our sons were friends, but they don't hang out anymore as they got older. We still talk and stuff occasionally, but not like we hang out. Mostly we talk when one of us needs something.

 

[awheelterd]

Well, I think we might actually do it. I have a friend who works with houses, he started buying and renovating a few years back but apparently has gotten in to new construction. They've been doing a few small subdivisions and I talked to him about possibly buying some land by me that I think it about to go into foreclosure, and the owner had started to develop. We might go in, I buy the land and then take what I want and he develops the rest and builds my house.

I'd hesitate to go with your friend for 2 reasons.

A)

This could ruin a friendship. Just my.02

B) Doing spec house's in a subdivision is a totally different ball game than building a nice custom home. He will likely be relatively cheap, but his subs are also likely bottom of the barrel. Custom details cost money, you don't want some meth head of a sub screwing stuff up just because he was the cheapest.


I used a guy I've known for almost my entire life to build my house. I was comfortable with him because he has been building custom home's for nearly 20 yrs. My house is not small or cheap, but compared to what he normally builds it is. I wanted his attention to detail and his vast knowledge on my side. His subs were not cheap, but I haven't had a single thing not pass inspection the first time. My other option was my buddy, who like yours, builds subdivision houses. He was telling me how much cheaper he could.build one than my first pick but started backing up when I started going over all the things I wanted to do. Just beware is my advice

 

[Blaze]

I'd hesitate to go with your friend for 2 reasons.

A)



B) Doing spec house's in a subdivision is a totally different ball game than building a nice custom home. He will likely be relatively cheap, but his subs are also likely bottom of the barrel. Custom details cost money, you don't want some meth head of a sub screwing stuff up just because he was the cheapest.


I used a guy I've known for almost my entire life to build my house. I was comfortable with him because he has been building custom home's for nearly 20 yrs. My house is not small or cheap, but compared to what he normally builds it is. I wanted his attention to detail and his vast knowledge on my side. His subs were not cheap, but I haven't had a single thing not pass inspection the first time. My other option was my buddy, who like yours, builds subdivision houses. He was telling me how much cheaper he could.build one than my first pick but started backing up when I started going over all the things I wanted to do. Just beware is my advice

No, they do custom houses. The subdivisions they do are small ones with bigger custom houses.

 

[rockcity]

This is my biggest hurtle. I have to build scale models of everything so she can see what it looks like. Even with a revit model she has a hard time being in the space unless she's IN THE SPACE.

We were in the kitchen of the Condo last night...cabinets going in next week and she was STILL struggling to understand the walking path. I had to layout the cabinets in blue tape and then hold up a partial piece of sheetrock for her to grasp what they would look like. The woman is smarter than I'll ever be in many aspects...but for the life of her cannot grasp 2D/3D concepts

My wife wants 3d models of everything so she can visualize everything. Ya know, like they do on TV.

That’s great and all, but at what cost? Each rendering needs an update at the 30/60/90 % drawings and everywhere in between? I get that it’s possible, but someone has to draw it up and it’s not really affordable or useful aside from making it easier for her to visualize. The ROI just isn’t there. I get that autoCAD has some extrusion options on the Z axis, but it all adds up and I feel it still won’t be what is needed to make it where she can understand it.


So, I’m going to have to just work around it. We’ve been through several significant house construction projects and we’ve worked around it in the past, I I think we can do it this go-round. The only additional challenge is that this is our forever home, not a remodel flip, so there is more of a drive to get it right and as she wants rather than the “just make it work so it sells” attitude.

 

[rockcity]

This could ruin a friendship. Just my.02

Yep. I’ve had several friends want me to work on their house and remodel/additions. I opted out because of this very reason. Most people want a deal and I don’t have the time to deal with people changing their minds all the time and working for a “deal”. I take my time and do it at my own pace and when I can; I know most people don’t want that and I understand the abrasion it can cause. So I just avoid it all together.

 

[trailhugger]

Yep. I’ve had several friends want me to work on their house and remodel/additions. I opted out because of this very reason. Most people want a deal and I don’t have the time to deal with people changing their minds all the time and working for a “deal”. I take my time and do it at my own pace and when I can; I know most people don’t want that and I understand the abrasion it can cause. So I just avoid it all together.

This is why I always quote my dad my regular billing rate when he starts talking about wanting me to "help" him with something.

 

[obullfish]

So we built a somewhat custom home using my wife’s first cousin as the GC. We knew what we wanted and already had flooring, fixtures, and paint colors picked before we made the decision to build. I was a little iffy on him doing it because of the family deal. We did get a deal on the build price but we did not ask for the deal. He was great and kept me informed daily on the build which was great considering I was working half way around the world at the time. We stayed on budget due to not making changes except for the garage foundation area that the inspector wanted filled with 3/4” washed stone that was 34’x28’x10’ deep. So we decided to move the garage to a basement garage and turned that garage space into living space for only $10k more than the gravel would have costed. Me and my wife must have a great relationship because we actually enjoyed the build process.

 

[kaiser715]

My wife wants 3d models of everything so she can visualize everything. Ya know, like they do on TV.

I am old school.

For visualization, I pulled out the old drafting utensils, and hand-drew some interior elevations. Good enough for the wife.

I did draw out our plans on a 2d floorplan program off the internet for $50 (EZ Blueprint or something like that).

 

[Fabrik8]

If you can swing it, an architect is totally worth it. Extra money, sure, but they can do project management and usually have a good cache of builders that they trust and know the quality. Also, getting a well designed house from an architect may not cost any more if the house can be downsized, if the smaller house with proper design and good utilization of space is functionally better than something much bigger that has a crap layout.

I think that's why everyone thinks they need a 3500 sqft house for a family of 4 in our area. Shitty tract home design means poor use of space, and often a 3500 sqft home that still feels claustrophobic.

 

[trailhugger]

Buying plans off the web, btw, is a racket. They charge way too much and then you still have to pay an architect to actually size the framing and make sure it meets res code. If you have a plan or pics of what you like, that's great, but I've seen $2800 for cad plans that you can't build from.

 

[trailhugger]

View attachment 300679
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I'd make the dining room 2' bigger in at least one, if not both, directions if you ever plan on hosting a family meal.

 

[kaiser715]

I'd make the dining room 2' bigger in at least one, if not both, directions if you ever plan on hosting a family meal.

X2...

There are just two of us, and we can sit 10 for dinner at the table, 16 in the whole room. Couple of times a year, it's still not enough. And you don't want half your guests to have to get up if someone needs to leave the table.

 

[kaiser715]

Buying plans off the web, btw, is a racket. They charge way too much and then you still have to pay an architect to actually size the framing and make sure it meets res code. If you have a plan or pics of what you like, that's great, but I've seen $2800 for cad plans that you can't build from.

I did all the layout on ours, on a cheapo s/w. Then had a draftsman draw out the plans, including exterior elevations. Cost $600 bucks total.

 

[Blaze]

If you can swing it, an architect is totally worth it. Extra money, sure, but they can do project management and usually have a good cache of builders that they trust and know the quality. Also, getting a well designed house from an architect may not cost any more if the house can be downsized, if the smaller house with proper design and good utilization of space is functionally better than something much bigger that has a crap layout.

I think that's why everyone thinks they need a 3500 sqft house for a family of 4 in our area. Shitty tract home design means poor use of space, and often a 3500 sqft home that still feels claustrophobic.

I'm going to have one of the architects here at work draw up the plans for me.