I hate Christmas

I left home yesterday morning and drove to VA Beach with my gf. We did Christmas at her dad's this morning and then I just got back home about 45 minutes ago. I've also been sick since Saturday....so I've been extra cheerful on top of my usual jovial demeanor.

We has to drive separate because I have to work tomorrow and she's going to do Christmas with her mom's side of the family. I was really hoping to have worked yesterday...they would have been required to give us double pay and I could have gotten out of going anywhere at all!
 
Tradarcher said:
Hate to be the scrooge here but I have enjoyed it all.
Click to expand...
"Yeah I read the title, and read the replies, so let me go ahead and rub it ALL Y'ALLs face that I'm better 'N you"

o_O

Dick


:lol::flipoff2:J/K
 
I like the time with the family. I hate the unspoken expectations. I wish it was possible for everyone to just come to my house. I like people and I like entertaining. And I like my wife's cooking.

But I don't have my wife whipped quite like this guy:
RatLabGuy said:
if there's something I want, I buy it, if wife wants something, she asks and then buys it.
Click to expand...
 
jeepinmatt said:
But I don't have my wife whipped quite like this guy:
Click to expand...
Well then you have some work to do :D

But in all seriousness, we agreed a long time ago we'd discuss (unusual) purchases over about $75, unless the money is raised from a separate source (e.g. me selling truck parts to buy more).
She is really conservative about spending money, and rarely asks for anything for herself so the answer is pretty much always yes. I, on the other hand, have learned to buy a lot of stuff that is $74.:D
 
Ron said:
Kinda setting yourself up there, chief.
Click to expand...
Not sure what you mean?
We've used a joint account for 20 years. Both our regular incomes go into the same general pool. From that we set aside our monthly spending money, savings, etc. Everything is shared. We agree extra outside income is free to do whatever we want with. We both do small stuff on the side that bring in extra but neither is a major revenue source so it's never an issue.
 
CasterTroy said:
I hate the rush.
I hate the forced need to purchase loved ones affection.
I hate people
I hate leaving my house from 23-25th period
I hate the anxiety associated with dealing with extended family
I like the high of watching my kids open all those gifts, but I hate the completely empty feeling afterwards. All that build up, for a marginal delivery

This year my wife was sick so we couldn't do the whole extended family thing. Just the kids. And since my kids are all grown it was totally chill, and no over the top excitement. Thus, no massive crash afterward. So...its been the best Christmas that I can remember
Click to expand...
Exactly.
My wife put the icing on the cake for this just this evening. She meant nothing by it but real Christmas reality came out. She's worn out from all her over the top Betty Crocker Suzy homemaker stuff. She really enjoys it but deep down she tries to go all 100 percent plus. She's secretly competitive with her cooking and compelled to show out this time of year........so her entire Christmas break prior to Eve and Day has been super busy all day at it and plan this and that.....make this and that go go go........until: tonight.

Exhausted and pissy we get herded around like cattle. Rushed of from our last location in a whirlwind of I'm exhausted let's go and every excuse that doesn't actually effect her.
I'm all about slowing down and actually seeing folks I care about after moving away from home and she's so tired she can't fathom staying still for a couple hrs.
Yep screw Commercial, we gotta do soooooo much extra where to worn out to be around.

I feel better now. Ba-humbug.

Now the crash....and few days. Crap we go back to work. Working to relax just doesn't work.
 
Last edited:
Xmas is hard for a lot of people. Myself included. As I have gotten older, I have grown to truly hate the idea of struggling to find presents for people, that if they wanted in the first place, they would have bought.
I am blessed with a large family, but it is very overwhelming being around them all at the same time.

I have a deep resentment for the expectations that come from this holiday. It just never seems to be enough.....

I have been very vocal about this for several years now, and my family came up with what I hope will be a great solution.

This year we all decided to go on a cruise instead of buying each other gifts. The kids of course still got presents, but no worry about buying the adults anything......

Our cruise leaves in 34 days, I guess we will see if it was such a good idea in the end.....
 
junkxj said:
Xmas is hard for a lot of people. Myself included. As I have gotten older, I have grown to truly hate the idea of struggling to find presents for people, that if they wanted in the first place, they would have bought.
Click to expand...
Thankfully, my parents and all the adults our generation figured this situation out a couple years ago. Parents literally say they just want new pics of the kids in frames to replace old ones. That, and every year my wife makes a calendar with all of the family members birthdays on it and each month is a collection of pics of the kids from that month over the years. The calendar is our sole present to all non-kids.
Most any other gifts are things that are hand made as a sentiment thing.

To all of you who struggle with this with your family - I'd suggest bringing it up one year (maybe wait til everybody is drunk, haha) and proposing to change the norm for the family. You may find everybody else is in agreement. We had a couple of conversations I thought was going to be awkward but turned out to be a big relief.
junkxj said:
I have been very vocal about this for several years now, and my family came up with what I hope will be a great solution.

This year we all decided to go on a cruise instead of buying each other gifts. The kids of course still got presents, but no worry about buying the adults anything......

Our cruise leaves in 34 days, I guess we will see if it was such a good idea in the end.....
Click to expand...
this is a great solution and I know several who do similar trips.
 
junkxj said:
This year we all decided to go on a cruise instead of buying each other gifts. The kids of course still got presents, but no worry about buying the adults anything......

Our cruise leaves in 34 days, I guess we will see if it was such a good idea in the end.....
Click to expand...

This actually came up tonight at my wife’s parents...but I just kept my mouth shut tonight...woulda just sounded like an ingrate or stick in the mud. We’ve done big trips with her folks in the past at various times during the year, and they weren’t terrible experiences. I love Jackson Hole/Yellowstone and the surrounding area, no one on her side has been (besides my wife)...and they wanna go. Sounds great on the surface...but what dafuq is so wrong with ‘just being’ and being content with sitting around a dinner table and enjoying eachothers company for a few hours. Nah...can’t do that...let’s go away from my house that I like, with things in it that I enjoy and spend tons of money to be together for a few days, which we could have done for free at home. Not to mention, I typically hate going on trips with large groups of people where I get to spend thousands of dollars to negotiate/compromise on an itinerary of shit I don’t wanna do or I want a private memory of with wife/kids that’s now overrun with someone else’s screaming kid or be inclusive of an awkward third wheel. Bonus points...in that situation when I’m the asshole, I’m hundreds/thousands of miles away from home and stuck in confined places with the feelings I just hurt, yay.
 
UTfball68 said:
This actually came up tonight at my wife’s parents...but I just kept my mouth shut tonight...woulda just sounded like an ingrate or stick in the mud. We’ve done big trips with her folks in the past at various times during the year, and they weren’t terrible experiences. I love Jackson Hole/Yellowstone and the surrounding area, no one on her side has been (besides my wife)...and they wanna go. Sounds great on the surface...but what dafuq is so wrong with ‘just being’ and being content with sitting around a dinner table and enjoying eachothers company for a few hours. Nah...can’t do that...let’s go away from my house that I like, with things in it that I enjoy and spend tons of money to be together for a few days, which we could have done for free at home. Not to mention, I typically hate going on trips with large groups of people where I get to spend thousands of dollars to negotiate/compromise on an itinerary of shit I don’t wanna do or I want a private memory of with wife/kids that’s now overrun with someone else’s screaming kid or be inclusive of an awkward third wheel. Bonus points...in that situation when I’m the asshole, I’m hundreds/thousands of miles away from home and stuck in confined places with the feelings I just hurt, yay.
Click to expand...

The point of the cruise was that it's less than $500 a person, and it's a big ass boat.
That way if you "happen" to not run in to your family for a while, it's because it's a big ass boat..........
 
junkxj said:
The point of the cruise was that it's less than $500 a person, and it's a big ass boat.
That way if you "happen" to not run in to your family for a while, it's because it's a big ass boat..........
Click to expand...

As long as you can go in to it with no itinerary and no strings attached...it works. I’ve yet to accomplish that traveling with a large group, inevitably, someone always gets their nose tweaked for something they weren’t included in or thought you’d want them to be a part of. Figured the same thing first time I went to NYC...it was with the wife’s family. The $1500 the trip cost me was about all I had at the time, didn’t know if I’d ever be back...wanted to see/do what I wanted. I assumed since they weren’t paying for anything, they didn’t control anything and if our paths/schedules crossed to do stuff together, great...otherwise we’d reconvene at meals or the hotel. I was wrong. But hey, sitting and people watching in some park (not even Central Park) is just as good as hitting the Statue of Liberty or Wall Street or any other typical tourist things you want to see.
 
RatLabGuy said:
Not sure what you mean?
Click to expand...
I was suggesting that while you were selling Toyota pats for extra cash, as opposed to asking for your permission your wife could sell something in more replinishable supply and much greater in demand...leaving you set up by your own rule
 
I'm the family curmudgeon and scrooge.
Known far and wide as the grinch ..... in fact on several forums I have had the grinch as my avatar since before thanksgiving.
I started being this way a long time ago when the mass commercialization just got to me.
As a Christian, I know and love the real reason for it and realize most have lost sight of it.

On the flip side ..... we draw names on my wife's side of the family and that's where my favorite gift this year came from.
A teen-aged boy got my name and one of the gifts he got me was a walking stick he made from a tree branch that came from the tree that damaged their house when the last hurricane came through.
He spent a month carving, sanding and working on it ...... that means a lot to me!

Matt
 
WARRIORWELDING said:
She's secretly competitive with her cooking and compelled to show out this time of year
Click to expand...

I know THIS made my ex and my sister-n-law total monsters during the holidays.

With my wife being sick this year it was just "Christmas with my kids"
I cant begin to Express how much actually enjoyed Christmas this year.
The kids casually opened gifts, and our middle child grabbed the garbage bag to collect all the paper (typically my job since 1995) so I sat back drinking coffee and enjoying the experience. The kids cleaned up everything and then we all napped.
WOW
I never knew it could be so great
 
I had a childhood that could easily be called criminal in today’s view.

I dislike Christmas and guess I always will. My dad is long gone and my mom is stage 4 and this will be her last Christmas unless God decides otherwise. She spent Christmas Eve here, we had a good time.

I have a lot of issues I hide well, even from myself, that rear up this time of year.

My wife is really great and is very patient.

This was the 2nd Year I have a relationship with my older half sister and I truly have enjoyed it. I looked forward to giving her something that she would truly appreciate and we have plans to spend NYE at her house.

My younger sister and I are close, share the same demons and she and I are perhaps the only people on Earth that can possibly understand.

My daughter is an adult now, and while I always put on a great face for her when she was a kid, I can now relax a little and be more myself this time of year.

I am very glad it is over honestly.
 
This year was different for us as well. Usually we go to Raleigh to visit with my wife's family for a few days. However, our December was pretty packed with events and a couple weekend trips. Leaving only one weekend free, the weekend usually reserved for the trip to Raleigh.
We let them know we wouldn't be making it down this year as we only had one free weekend and wanted Christmas at our new (to us) home. I don't think anyone was hurt or let down based on the phone calls yesterday. I think they secretly enjoyed a day of relaxation themselves.

The commercialization of Christmas really gets to me. However walking through our downtown in Brevard and Hendersonville with carolers, businesses passing our cider and cookies and seeing families truly enjoying time spent with each other, warms my heart.

I only have a handful of family left. It's mainly my sister and @thebrotherinlaw that we interact with much at all. Allowing quality time with them in a relaxed atmosphere means the absolute world to me.
 
I haven't been to my family Chistmas in years. I was adopted so I guess i've always felt that the whole family bond didnt apply to me. It's not that I wasn't welcome, I just don't really care to be a part. I always tell people that i'm a big part of their lives, they just aren't a big part of mine. I know, i'm an asshole.

So, it kind of came back around on me this year. A few weeks back, I got a message from a guy on the dna site ,23 and me. I have gotten messages before and it's always the same, working on family tree, dont recognize your last name, etc. Never close matches. Turns out this guy is my first cousin. We had a nice phone conversation and narrow it down to the fact he has two uncles that could be my dad. He told me a good bit about his family, we exchanged some pictures. It was really cool. I tried to make it clear that I didnt really want everyone to get excited or expect some grand reunion. We ended it with him talking to his mom and he was going to try and figure out a way to privately talk to his uncle who is most likely my father when he flew home for christmas. I was really looking forward to a call yesterday but it never came. Not to say he won't call but I was secretly really wanting to know.
 
Fabrik8 said:
We don't run around anywhere, because the travel is too much and it's always very one-sided. People always want you to come visit them, but never offer to come visit you. Again, just do it and ignore the fallout. Explain your reasons, and move on with life.
Click to expand...

This. This is the guilt trip I have to deal with every f*cking year since all my family is ~1500 miles away from me. But does anyone ever bother to come here? Nope.

CasterTroy said:
I hate the rush.
I hate the forced need to purchase loved ones affection.
I hate people
I hate leaving my house from 23-25th period
I hate the anxiety associated with dealing with extended family
Click to expand...
These too. Yet another ruined "holiday" because of my f*cking in-laws. The four of them gang up on my wife, this time while she is holding our child and berate her for the most ridiculous BS. So once again, another holiday up in smoke, I'm an asshole because I am apparently a physical threat to a BIL that has 6" in height and 125+ pounds of weight on me(fucking fatass...there I said it), and I told his father that I'd beat his f*cking ass if he opens his suck again. So there I was, last night...eating my Christmas dinner on the stove at home by myself. Convenience store sammich and a sack of tater chips. Merry Christmas, y'all. Maybe it's me.
 
Scooter402 said:
These too. Yet another ruined "holiday" because of my f*cking in-laws. The four of them gang up on my wife, this time while she is holding our child and berate her for the most ridiculous BS. So once again, another holiday up in smoke, I'm an asshole because I am apparently a physical threat to a BIL that has 6" in height and 125+ pounds of weight on me(fucking fatass...there I said it), and I told his father that I'd beat his f*cking ass if he opens his suck again. So there I was, last night...eating my Christmas dinner on the stove at home by myself. Convenience store sammich and a sack of tater chips. Merry Christmas, y'all. Maybe it's me.
Click to expand...

Been there...my wife is a pushover. Anything to please anyone, gullible, legitimately lives in a bubble of rainbows/unicorns and would usually end up as the butt of jokes in her family. You know when you hit that point of black out rage...I hit it and I absolutely lost it about 4 years ago, cleared out the house. That's my wife, don't disrespect her...my allegiance is to her. Wife followed me out of the house, but all I heard through boohoos the rest of the night was how embarrassing that was and I scared her and I can't react to family that way...but they treat her with a fuck ton more respect now...so it was worth it.
 
UTfball68 said:
Been there...my wife is a pushover. Anything to please anyone, gullible, legitimately lives in a bubble of rainbows/unicorns and would usually end up as the butt of jokes in her family. You know when you hit that point of black out rage...I hit it and I absolutely lost it about 4 years ago, cleared out the house. That's my wife, don't disrespect her...my allegiance is to her. Wife followed me out of the house, but all I heard through boohoos the rest of the night was how embarrassing that was and I scared her and I can't react to family that way...but they treat her with a fuck ton more respect now...so it was worth it.
Click to expand...
I'm with you. I was almost at that point of blackout rage, was a hair's breadth away from going completely ballistic last night, then I looked at my wife sitting there with tears running down her face holding our daughter. All I could get out of my mouth without exploding was "let's go." I was born and raised in Texas, did 8 years for Uncle Sam, and apparently despite that and now being a rather successful engineer (if I don't mind saying so myself) I'm still a gullible dumbass hick according to the FIL, since I still talk slow with an accent....but I've had it with the way my wife is treated. I'm done playing games, I'm done playing along, I'm done being Mr. Nice Guy. He done pissed off the wrong hillbilly.
 
Back
Top