Making parents be parents.....

I rethought my position from this morning.

On second thought, I'm all in favor of using the full power of the government to enforce societal norms. If some kid's parents have to die in a botched raid because they decided to go all Branch Davidian and defy a lawful order, then that's okay. If it saves one child's life, it'll be worth it.
 
shawn said:
On second thought, I'm all in favor of using the full power of the government to enforce societal norms.
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So the government ought to enforce societal norms? Wtf? Who sets the norm, Orwell? In no way should the the government called or bound to enforce societal norms... without a norm, no one could be abnormal. Just because we don't fit the mold doesn't mean we don't fit in. And just because we don't fit in doesn't mean we want a trophy too.
 
shawn said:
I rethought my position from this morning.

On second thought, I'm all in favor of using the full power of the government to enforce societal norms. If some kid's parents have to die in a botched raid because they decided to go all Branch Davidian and defy a lawful order, then that's okay. If it saves one child's life, it'll be worth it.
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Is bullying worse today because of social media? I believe there was an incident recently where a girl was being bullied on Facebook by a number of other girls. She killed herself.
 
I, too, was bullied in school. In 6th grade I finally got tired of it. My Dad had always told me "Don't you ever throw the first punch. But if someone else starts it, you darn sure better finish it." The dude pushed me down in the cafeteria before school. He technically didn't throw a punch, but it was enough to push me over the edge. I honestly remember having to jump to try to hit the guy. I totally whiffed, (LOL) but from that point forward, he didn't mess w/ me anymore.
 
shawn said:
I rethought my position from this morning.

On second thought, I'm all in favor of using the full power of the government to enforce societal norms. If some kid's parents have to die in a botched raid because they decided to go all Branch Davidian and defy a lawful order, then that's okay. If it saves one child's life, it'll be worth it.
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Sorry but my sarcasm detector isn't workin today???
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FB was long abandoned by "kids" and has been left for the old farts that MADE it uncool (the second a teenagers parent "got a facebook" they jumped ship)

Snapchat and vine are now the debil. By the time your kids are of age to be assimilated, there will likely be a whole new level of social shame networks available
 
CasterTroy said:
You gotta wonder, if the LACK of bullying (compared to the 70's/80's) isn't what's gotten us to the point we are now: Transgender/LGBTF agenda push

Kids are so friggin weak now. Every time little timmy farts, sally's mom shows up at the school board to suggest new policy
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Oh hell, I'll run this rabbit. What point are we at with the LBGT agenda? Do you think bullying an LBGT person is right? Do you think if more bullying of LGBT people occurred then society would be better? Just asking for a little clarification of your post.

As for the original topic, no I do not think it is a good idea. Too many variables and subjectivity into the situation.

Duane
 
It was more of a random thought than it was a rabbit hole (trap)

Fear of teasing for being anything but normal seemed to be motivation for many (I found out later) to keep quiet in the closet. It made me wonder if the cruelty of the 70's/80's didn't account for the lack of prevalence that we see so much of today.
 
CasterTroy said:
You gotta wonder, if the LACK of bullying (compared to the 70's/80's) isn't what's gotten us to the point we are now: Transgender/LGBTF agenda push
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Supposedly bullying is worse now that it was in the past.
 
Let me break a few hearts.
Parents CAN and MUST influence their kids. They can not dictate or control their actions.
We all want to say "Let Junior try that..."


Guess what, my parents were pieces of shit. My best friend in this world, his parents were pieces of shit.
We jokingly tell folks we raised each other. We both have good careers, great kids, and decent comfortable lives.

So whats the point or relevance?

If I believe that as a child I was capable of making the conscious decision to overcome the (lack of) nurture of my development, and I certainly believe that because I in fact did it, then I have to also accept the fact that a child could make the decision to refute positive parenting and be a piece of shit.

We don't like to hear that because it makes us out of control. It makes us weak(er).

But the truth is as parents we can influence, we can teach, we can prepare, we can expose, we can love, we can nurture, we can not control.
Sure my kid does something stupid I can (and have and will again) bust their butt. I can make them regret their past action. I can not prevent them from repeating it within the legal confines of society (Meaning I could, I suppose, eradicate them and prevent their actions but not much else).

Sit by and watch a parent grieve as their child slowly kills themselves with a Meth, Crack, Heroin or Opiate addiction. A parent that did everything right. Everything. A parent that you only wish you could be. Watch that and it will change your perception on a lot of parenting issues.


Sorry off my soap box, just hit real close to home today, thats all.


TL;DR version - Fuck that noise.
 
Ron said:
But the truth is as parents we can influence, we can teach, we can prepare, we can expose, we can love, we can nurture, we can not control.
Sure my kid does something stupid I can (and have and will again) bust their butt. I can make them regret their past action. I can not prevent them from repeating it within the legal confines of society (Meaning I could, I suppose, eradicate them and prevent their actions but not much else).

Sit by and watch a parent grieve as their child slowly kills themselves with a Meth, Crack, Heroin or Opiate addiction. A parent that did everything right. Everything. A parent that you only wish you could be. Watch that and it will change your perception on a lot of parenting issues.
.
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This could not be more true. I grew up in a great home with loving parents. We were not spoiled, but did not want for anything. I like to think I turned out ok. Have a decent career and a wonderful family. My brother, on the other hand, is a complete waste of oxygen. He was raised the same way I was. Shit happens.
 
drkelly said:
Supposedly bullying is worse now that it was in the past.
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I don't see it as better or worse than in the past, it's just different. "In our day", a bully was in your face, taking your lunch money or pushing you down in the grass or wrapping your ass with tape in the locker room. It wasn't behind a computer or phone screen.

Look at movies that have a bully in them. Christmas Story, Breakfast Club, Revenge of the Nerds, Mean Girls, Weird Science.... This is nothing new. Just different.
 
ManglerYJ said:
I don't see it as better or worse than in the past, it's just different. "In our day", a bully was in your face, taking your lunch money or pushing you down in the grass or wrapping your ass with tape in the locker room. It wasn't behind a computer or phone screen.

Look at movies that have a bully in them. Christmas Story, Breakfast Club, Revenge of the Nerds, Mean Girls, Weird Science.... This is nothing new. Just different.
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I think the problem today is that the bully is BOTH in your face and on social media. In the old days you would be safe from the school bully once you left school. That is not the case today.
 
drkelly said:
I think the problem today is that the bully is BOTH in your face and on social media. In the old days you would be safe from the school bully once you left school. That is not the case today.
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Maybe it speaks to the hyper-sensitivity of today's youth, but how exactly can you be "unsafe" physically from social media bullying? I know that a bully can trash your reputation, upload nasty pictures of you, even send your computer viruses, etc., but physically a "cyber bully" can do nothing to you.

The only way I knew to fight bullying when I was growing up was to develop a sense of humor. I learned to laugh at myself - my flaws and my weaknesses which gave bullies no real power over me, except physical. When you can identify and laugh at your own weaknesses, you take away the only thing that a bully has, but in return you can also identify theirs. Turn the tables on a bully by pointing out their flaws in public and all the sudden you have the upper hand, at least until things get physical. Then it's best to learn some Aikido to redirect his body weight and make him look silly. If that doesn't work, make sure you wear red so that they can't see you bleed. Or wear brown pants.

If you've never seen it, the movie Roxanne (remake of Cyrano De Bergerac) has an epic scene to handle a situation such as this:

 
ManglerYJ said:
Maybe it speaks to the hyper-sensitivity of today's youth, but how exactly can you be "unsafe" physically from social media bullying? I know that a bully can trash your reputation, upload nasty pictures of you, even send your computer viruses, etc., but physically a "cyber bully" can do nothing to you.
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Mental bullying, not physical. It appears in the case of the girl I posted the article about, it was all mental abuse.
 
ManglerYJ said:
I learned to laugh at myself - my flaws and my weaknesses which gave bullies no real power over me, except physical. When you can identify and laugh at your own weaknesses, you take away the only thing that a bully has, but in return you can also identify theirs. Turn the tables on a bully by pointing out their flaws in public and all the sudden you have the upper hand, at least until things get physical.
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This....FTW

But the thing is...you have to learn this "in the field"

Like trying to teach a child the definition of HOT. You can't do it unless they get burned. Once they get burned then they learn.

When we "protect" kids from any harm, they can't learn to develop these skills, nor learn to cope. We're raising a generation of pussies.



ManglerYJ said:
Or wear brown pants.
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THIS guy gets it

ai.dailymail.co.uk_i_pix_2015_08_05_07_2B1BE71B00000578_3185671_image_m_120_1438754765634.jpg
 
drkelly said:
Mental bullying, not physical. It appears in the case of the girl I posted the article about, it was all mental abuse.
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Oh, I hear what your saying (or read what you are writing) - it's definitely bullying and mental abuse, but it's up to the kid to separate online from reality and break free knowing that the world exists outside that screen. I'm not trying to take anything away from her plight in any way, but it's a lesson that a LOT of people have to learn. It's a conversation that I will have with my kids as they are getting older and will have access to social media.

When my grandson was killed in a car wreck, there were news reporters that showed up almost immediately at our doorstep. Some reported stories that were not very complementary and some of those reporters had online news reports where people were able to comment. Some of those comments were so rude and false and hurtful that we simply stopped reading them. For every nice, positive comment, there were at least ten that were hurtful. People that didn't know us, my step-daughter or my grandson making assumptions over what happened, etc. My other step-daughter started commenting back until we had to get through to her that while these are real people, there is no sense to keep responding to them. By taking away the responses, they eventually found something better to do and it stopped. We could all begin to heal at that point. There was nothing humorous to be found in that situation, but the best thing to do is realize what they are trying to do and not give them the power to do so.
 
Some of the hardest things I've ever had to do in life involved letting my kids fail/fall/struggle so that they could learn to get back up and figure out how to succeed on their own.

My oldest is working a construction job this summer (after his first year in college) and I know it will be the hottest, hardest "work" he has ever, and MAY ever have to do...but I told him quitting is NOT an option if he wants to return to college in the fall (which he most definitely wants to go back...he's nuts about WCU)
I feel for him, but he has to do it. He'll look back on this and appreciate the hell out of his education and NOT having to dig ditches
 
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