Making parents be parents.....

The problem is that "bullying" is so subjective. I have three kids in elementary school. One kindergartener, a 2nd grader and a 5th grader. Each has different views of what "bullying" is. All seems to be based on the teachers' impressions and based loosely on age.

The kindergartener considers it "name calling", so if someone calls someone else stupid, or an idiot, they are being a bully. The second grader is a little more physical based, which pushing, hitting, etc. The 5th grader has a pretty good grasp on it, but she says she rarely ever has seen it. (she might be the bully then - who knows!)

Bigger problem I see is that the teachers aren't empowered to actually DO ANYTHING about it when it happens. There is one girl in my son's class (Kindergartner) who is almost daily getting on red or orange (the bad colors in their discipline scale) for hitting, throwing things in class, punching, biting, etc. She has been sent to the office three times already just in May. That's all the teacher can do. The parents are obviously NOT doing anything about it. Ironically, my kid - who is a holy TERROR at home - is always on purple (the best color) or "personal best" and always gets notes home on how helpful, courteous, nice and polite he is. Odds are good that this girl with the discipline problem will end up being my kid's prom date in 12 years. I got odds on it.

All in all, I think this is a BAD idea. It just seems to involve some other outside agency (the court system, the police, etc) in the process who will have to gather information third hand and make an objective decision.
 
Sounds like it will force slack parents do to what they should be doing anyway. Teaching their children right from wrong!

According to Good Housekeeping, there are critics to this new law. Some are afraid that the difference between teasing and harassment is very subjective and the monetary fine could hurt some families that are already struggling financially.
Then step up and be a parent instead of a friend!
 
:shaking:

Kids/people are weak today. My daughter broke up with her boyfriend of 2 months last week. He was so distraught that he left school and spent the night in a hospital. His sister had done the same thing a couple months earlier. Their home life has been pretty unstable for many years.

My daughter just shrugged it off understanding the true fact of life is this kid will not due well later in life.
 
GotWood said:
:shaking:

Kids/people are weak today. My daughter broke up with her boyfriend of 2 months last week. He was so distraught that he left school and spent the night in a hospital. His sister had done the same thing a couple months earlier. Their home life has been pretty unstable for many years.

My daughter just shrugged it off understanding the true fact of life is this kid will not due well later in life.
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She was the breaker, not the breakee. BIG difference, LOL.

I agree with you though. But why are people weaker? What has changed in society? Is it the media/social media?
 
I believe this is a small step towards the right direction. The main problem is holding people accountable for their behavior and actions...Not sure if a fine is right or wrong in this but it is a step in somewhat of a right direction....
 
drkelly said:
She was the breaker, not the breakee. BIG difference, LOL.

I agree with you though. But why are people weaker? What has changed in society? Is it the media/social media?
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There used to be a time when we cared what people think on a small scale, but in the larger scale, we didn't. I can't put a finger on when the shift occurred, but now, we care about what people think on a more global scale, but overlook the people closest to us. Society in general has lost it's sense of "manners" when it comes to opening a car door for a lady, or holding the door open for the next person behind you or even having the common decency to dress properly without underwear showing, etc (boys AND girls) - but we are so hell-bent on tripping over ourselves to look out for everyone's 'rights' to not be offended.

It seems like the only reason anyone studies History anymore is to find someone to blame for their ills, or to dig up the dirt on someone to discredit their legacy based on today's standards. Yesterday's societal leaders are now todays' bigots, racists and hate mongers all based upon which Wikipedia you read.
 
drkelly said:
She was the breaker, not the breakee. BIG difference, LOL.

I agree with you though. But why are people weaker? What has changed in society? Is it the media/social media?
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when we started giving out participation awards for everything and not letting kids/people fail.
 
You gotta wonder, if the LACK of bullying (compared to the 70's/80's) isn't what's gotten us to the point we are now: Transgender/LGBTF agenda push

Kids are so friggin weak now. Every time little timmy farts, sally's mom shows up at the school board to suggest new policy
 
BRUISER said:
when we started giving out participation awards for everything and not letting kids/people fail.
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I was speaking about this today at my son's field day. It was the same when I was a kid in the 80's. I have plenty of participation awards. It didn't recently start, but I hear the same argument all the time.
 
BRUISER said:
when we started giving out participation awards for everything and not letting kids/people fail.
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That is an excellent point. You are probably right. When did that start? 10 yrs ago? My boy is 5 yrs old and not involved in any sports/events yet where that type of thing goes on.
 
drkelly said:
That is an excellent point. You are probably right. When did that start? 10 yrs ago? My boy is 5 yrs old and not involved in any sports/events yet where that type of thing goes on.
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Almost everything we looked into for my 3 year old did/does the participation award crap. Gonna be almost impossible to find programs that don't soon.



My take on this is not just the bullying issue, but holding parents responsible for their kids actions period. I didn't grow up perfect, but I knew that if I got in big trouble or was the trouble maker, I'd get my ass beat for it.
 
drkelly said:
She was the breaker, not the breakee. BIG difference, LOL.

I agree with you though. But why are people weaker? What has changed in society? Is it the media/social media?
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Kids are trained to be weaker, by not making them tougher. Things like participation trophies, not having chores, not earning anything, getting away with whatever they want.

These things make them physically and emotionally weaker. While no one wants their kids to fail, if they do not experience failure at a young age, they will not be prepared to handle it at an older age. Just like with any other educational understanding, you have to set the foundation and building blocks early, so they can build and become stronger.

justjeepin86 said:
I was speaking about this today at my son's field day. It was the same when I was a kid in the 80's. I have plenty of participation awards. It didn't recently start, but I hear the same argument all the time.
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X2, same for me. I received participation awards also, but there was a difference between them and the top awards. They still kept score and awarded people for doing well.

My son is 3 and played soccer last fall. At the end of the season he got a participation award. I knew before hand, and had planned to just discard of it. The coach didn't make a big deal of it, and my kid cared more about the snack he was eating, so I just left it be (for now). If he continues to play sports as he gets older, score will be kept, if only by me and him.
 
paradisePWoffrd said:
Kids are trained to be weaker, by not making them tougher. Things like participation trophies, not having chores, not earning anything, getting away with whatever they want.

These things make them physically and emotionally weaker. While no one wants their kids to fail, if they do not experience failure at a young age, they will not be prepared to handle it at an older age. Just like with any other educational understanding, you have to set the foundation and building blocks early, so they can build and become stronger.



X2, same for me. I received participation awards also, but there was a difference between them and the top awards. They still kept score and awarded people for doing well.

My son is 3 and played soccer last fall. At the end of the season he got a participation award. I knew before hand, and had planned to just discard of it. The coach didn't make a big deal of it, and my kid cared more about the snack he was eating, so I just left it be (for now). If he continues to play sports as he gets older, score will be kept, if only by me and him.
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I agree with you. One thing though, I don't remember being able to play anything till I was 5 or so. Big difference between 5 and 3. My daughter just finished her second season of u4 soccer. I see the medals at that age as something that they remember that makes them want to come back next season.

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justjeepin86 said:
I agree with you. One thing though, I don't remember being able to play anything till I was 5 or so. Big difference between 5 and 3. My daughter just finished her second season of u4 soccer. I see the medals at that age as something that they remember that makes them want to come back next season.

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I agree. You could play baseball at 4, but that was it. Which is somewhat a sore subject for me also; around here they can only play tee ball at 4 & 5. I believe you should have someone throwing a ball when you are batting.
 
This is one of the things I like about Boy Scouts. At least around here, and the Troop my son just joined, you gotta earn everything. and by "you" I mean "the boy". Dad's can't do shit FOR their kids, and they only move up based on their own initiatives. They do very little in the weekly Troop-level meetings that helps boys towards advancement or merit badges. The boy has to do it on his own. You don't do anything except go to meetings and just fuck around at campouts, fine, you're having a good time, but you don't get any kind of award or it besides a patch here and there that isn't an official part of the uniform. One of the last bastions of self-training and recognition.
You can tell, too, the differences in the boys that have earned their own shit.
 
Schools refuse to discipline.
We adopted our 7 year old daughter last year. DSS took her away from her birth parents and then she bounced from foster home to foster home until she came to us. She was exposed to stuff that kids shouldn't have any idea about. So she has some serious issues. A few weeks ago, we got a phone call from the principal telling us what she had done in class. This was the second time it had happened. My wife asked what her punishment would be, and the principal said "nothing, we want to praise the positive and ignore the negative." WTF! I was off work that day so we immediately walked over to the school to meet with the principal. We told her it happened twice, and we want the school to punish her because it happened at school. Finally, the principal said she would make her sit in her office the next day and do school work. Well, she only made her sit in there for 30 minutes.
 
I was bullied in school.

I don't wish the parents of the bullies be fined.

I have already ran into these bullies 10 years later and beat the crap out of their asses.

What this all boils down to is the abolishment of good old fashioned fist fighting and solving ones own disputes without the use of money making attorneys. Ftw.
 
Story time : in middle school I was in the not cool kids group and was picked on until one day I stood up to the leader. We met after school in the parking lot and had a fist fight, no one really won but we ended up being best friends for years to come. It also changed the dynamic in our class and there was a lot less kids getting picked on. Had our parents been involved we would probably never had been friends and I am sure it would have been a lot worse on the play ground.
 
I got bullied…my older brother went to the kids bus stop and beat his ass down. That kid and I were friends later on and still are today. Participation awards are ridiculous, I think it's good to teach a kid failure and truly reward accomplishments. Life is full of disappointments and failures(at least mine has been), learning to deal with them early is a good lesson.
 
Been bullied, was told by mom to make them stop, stood up to bullies, said what they were doing was wrong and they should think about it and ask the Lord for forgiveness. Had ass beaten by bullies. Went home. Grampa seen my beaten self and said I had to make a stand because if not they would always do it to me, and also little bitches were not welcome in his home unless they wore dresses(do not look good in a dress). Went back to school, got confronted in the locker room by said bullies, put six master locks in a sock, taught bullies a lesson, got ISS for a week. Gramps patted me on the back. Went to new school bully pushed me down in the locker room, immediately jumped up and went to that noggin (he had me by 50lbs). I don't know if it was my fear of having having to wear a dress to Sunday dinner in my eyes he mistook for rage or the fact I was wearing nothing but whitey tighties but that big ole boy was pretty much whupped after he realized I wasn't scared(later became pretty good friends). Nothing trumps crazy, and if in need use a force multiplier. Never really was bullied after that. I think gramps honestly changed the path of my life and personality along about the 6th grade. I think failure is the path to understanding success. I think parents should be parents first and besties second.

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I tried to take the ribbons away from our field day (I am an elementary PE teacher) and the parents weren't having it....So they got them....

Parents need to start parenting instead of worrying about all the what if's....
 
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