Mall Crawling Racer...... #4410

[REDLYNER]

^ Respect.

 

[dkrajcovic]

I think with some of these hard core modifications you will be losing some cred. with the O.G. mall crawlers. Its time for some mall crawling accesories like ... body kit, train horns and some dubs.View attachment 58482

yep train horns is just what you need so the mall crawlers will hear you comming LOL

 

[REDLYNER]

I was doing a walk around of my rig (mall crawlers call their cars "rigs" to sound more hardcore)...... so yeah, during a walk around of my rig I saw the rear of mine didn't look like Will's Ultra4 buggy. If I am to look like a real racer, creating a swoon of attention at the local Sonic show-n-shines, I had to figure out what was missing. Then I saw it......

I asked: "Will! What is THAT??!!"
Will @RightSide: "Ummm... you mean my axle?"
Me: "Yes! What is it, like a special Rubi axle? That is sick!"
Will: "Noooo.... It's a Fab 9"
Me: "I want one. I'd be snapping necks and cashing checks with one of those!"
Will: "I'm not sure what that means. You do realize that there is a lot of work involved in getting a fabricated 9" under your jeep right?"
Me: "Fabricated 9"? I thought Fab 9 meant Fabulous 9"....."
Will: "OK.... sooo, I'm not quite sure what to say to that."
Me: "I'm speechless to brah. Fist pump?"



Huge thanks to Clayton Offroad for getting this thing on the pallet 30 minutes after I called them. Currie F9 axle signed and delivered to Will @RightSide.

 

[1983Bronco]

jeep looks awesome, good luck out there

 

[REDLYNER]

KOH Gear bag arrived today!


Here is everything I will need to make it to the finish line looking as good as when I left it: 10 cans of Dupli Color Stone White body match paint. I would have bought more, but I ran out of storage room in the jeep and there IS NO WAY I'm giving up my cup holder- the OMF's are too critical (Orange Mocha Frappuchinnos).

Speaking of OMF's, Meekus and I were cruising home from The Avenue and he was like "Jay, you know what would be bananas? And I was like "dude, tell me what would be bananas!" And Meekus was like "it would be so bananas if you had some of those sweet racing mirrors, they are on ALL the slick rides in JV".
Meekus was so right, and it's those little details that are going to make me look like a real racer out in the desert. So we reached out to Liquid Iron Industries and picked up their mirror setup.

Will @RightSide was working on the axle and ran into a small problem.... no pinion guard. My first question, obviously, was do they look cool? The second question was how fast can we get it? RuffStuff, knowing our timeline, stepped up and got one out ASAP! So the build continues:

 

[jeepinmatt]

KOH Gear bag arrived today!


Here is everything I will need to make it to the finish line looking as good as when I left it: 10 cans of Dupli Color Stone White body match paint. I would have bought more, but I ran out of storage room in the jeep and there IS NO WAY I'm giving up my cup holder- the OMF's are too critical (Orange Mocha Frappuchinnos).

Speaking of OMF's, Meekus and I were cruising home from The Avenue and he was like "Jay, you know what would be bananas? And I was like "dude, tell me what would be bananas!" And Meekus was like "it would be so bananas if you had some of those sweet racing mirrors, they are on ALL the slick rides in JV".
Meekus was so right, and it's those little details that are going to make me look like a real racer out in the desert. So we reached out to Liquid Iron Industries and picked up their mirror setup.

10,000 points for the Zoolander quotes. I just hope you don't die in a freak gasoline fight accident.

 

[REDLYNER]

One of the more difficult aspects of Mall Crawling is to make sure you are NEVER behind the times when it comes to style, trends, and fads. Sometimes, you even have to make decisions on the fly- like do I point my slightly curled up flat billed hat to the right, or is Erik Miller wearing his to the left? This is an example of the tougher decisions I'm anticipating having to make out at JV.

However, one thing is for sure: I won't be unprepaired. I have a whole suitcase just for hats coming with me so I should be able to look like a racer on the lakebed no matter what is trending.

#Fedora

Also, it seems that most of the builds are posting close up pictures of welds right now, so in typical mall crawler fashion, I too will be posting close up pictures of welds.

 

[REDLYNER]

Going over the final to-do list and I'm coming up with a few questions:

For example, when walking around Hammer Town, which looks cooler: race suit half on and tied around my waste, or all the way on, but zipped half way down?

How many logos should I have printed on my REDLYNER Racing shirts? Do more logos give me more street cred? I'll need to start googleing some more companies if so.

If I install a police siren and use it before actually passing someone, is that cool or poser?

Is there a gym in Hammer Town, I'm going to need to blast my abs a few times before race day and it would be nice to know where the weights are.


Also, new rear Clayton stretch arms showed up today- Johnny joints will be fresh for the sand!

 

[Kamel]

First of all, NEVER tie anything around anything. That was sooo Ricky Schoder. Second; Of course more logos are better! All Company logos should be placed in a skull (or even better... tribal!!!) pattern on the front and back of your undershirt. Which shall be no less than $25/ea. Next, the siren shall be ran at all times, provided there is a disco ball spinning at the same time. Lastly, any self respecting Quido will do up-side-down sit-ups while hanging from their legs, from the awning, on the race trailer. No gym needed...

And, I didn't want to mention, BUT; Do you think those joints are strong enough for all the soccer moms to hang from??

 

[REDLYNER]

The final numbers for shirts, hoodies, etc go in tomorrow, so let me know if you want to be in the crew. Just a warning though, wearing our swag will most likely have chicks begging for digits, so be prepared. Sizes are "smedium", "extra smedium", and "DAMN that's tight".

Paypal is jwcalla@yahoo.com, put what threads you want and the address in the notes. I make zero $ on these, just charging what they cost me. :goofball:

Beanies - $15 shipped
Shirts - $16 shipped
Women's shirt - $18 shipped
Hoody - $27 shipped

(S, M, L, XL)

Shirts/hoodies will look like:

Shirt front:

Shirt Sleeve:

Shirt Back:

Beanies:

 

[REDLYNER]

I was doing a little motivational research of some seriously badass mall crawlers and just realized I haven't done much scouting of the Hammer Town parking lots. Will there be any curbs around for me to flex out on? I'll need to find one to make sure I don't fall behind in my weekly "park your tire on a curb" blog postings.

Will is starting to turn it up @RightSide. The F9 is just about wrapped up, then it's finishing the 3 link, and a front gear change (who would have thought I could break a ring and pinion parking on a snow bank at Red Lobster?) to get this thing rolling again.

 

[levellinebrad]

I got 2 questions for you Jay,
1) If it's Redlyner racing, why is the little white line not pointong to the little red area?
2) Why no XXL or XXXL hoodies?

Oh and I just generally hate you now for all those parts

 

[REDLYNER]

Hahaha... Brad- We need to meet up for that gear bag! I'm sure some of that stuff will come out with me to Cali. You wouldn't how much grief I have received from friends and family about the tach not redlining.

 

[jeepinmatt]

If it's Redlyner racing, why is the little white line not pointong to the little red area?

I was thinking the same thing myself...

Enjoying the thread, keep up the good work!

 

[snappy]

I got 2 questions for you Jay,
1) If it's Redlyner racing, why is the little white line not pointong to the little red area?
2) Why no XXL or XXXL hoodies?

Oh and I just generally hate you now for all those parts

Duhhhh that is redline area in the mall parking lot before you get a ticket!!

 

[RatLabGuy]

I got 2 questions for you Jay,
1) If it's Redlyner racing, why is the little white line not pointong to the little red area?

b/c it would look like some kind of weird pick-axe?

 

[levellinebrad]

Hahaha... Brad- We need to meet up for that gear bag! I'm sure some of that stuff will come out with me to Cali. You wouldn't how much grief I have received from friends and family about the tach not redlining.

I will get up with you this week and get you that bag. Missed you at the flats this weekend but I know there were some big sales at Nordstroms so I understand.

 

[Kamel]

RM 7: Hard left around Kohls. Easy, running doors... just follow the strobe lights.

RM19: Traffic starting to spread out by Mr Pretzel... still running at speed into the dust cloud.

RM32: Lost. Pretty sure I should have banked right at Coach... or was it Zales? Damnit....

RM27: OK, that is the second time I've seen Build-a-Bear... this paper map SUCKS.

RM45: Approaching Food Court... late. Nearly last to Sbarro, embarrasing. Something needs to be done.

How about a shirt with this extreme map and directions printed on it?

 

[REDLYNER]

Been checking out some other builds....... feeling a little threatened actually. So what does a mall crawler do whe they feel threatened?? Bolt on something that attracks even more attention.

I was going through my options:

Type R badge?

Maybe some neon?

No....... an enormous wing?!

Wait....... nothing says "look at me" more than stainless steel accessories and more fist pump blue.

Fuel just about plumbed:

Rear airbumps mounted:

Light bar getting wrapped up:

I kept asking: "Will! Doesn't it look fast"?!!
Will kept saying: "It's on jackstands..... it can't go fast".
Me: "Yeah, I know.... but doesn't it look really fast"??!!
Will: "Jay, see it doesn't have axles, wheels, or tires. So I know it can't go anywhere fast".


Badger me with details.

 

[khwrx]

Isn't the race like feb 1st ? Gonna be done in time for us to look for you on the live video feed during the race ?

 

[snappy]

Isn't the race like feb 1st ? Gonna be done in time for us to look for you on the live video feed during the race ?

Everyone knows those pics are from like 3 weeks ago....

 

[khwrx]

Well I didn't sorry .

 

[snappy]

Well I didn't sorry .

It was a joke.... There is a reason all the race rigs arent painted, no time for the paint to dry before they go on the trailer!!

 

[khwrx]

i know its cool.

 

[REDLYNER]

Yep... those pictures are like 3 hours old . Hoping to ge the rig back this weekend for paint, then daily drive it the next 10 days or so to break in the gears and joints, etc. We'll be painting like crazy to get it up to mall crawler status before it goes on the trailer to KOH.