Random Thoughts.....

If you give your opinion, it's your 2¢

It's only a penny for you thoughts.


Where does the other penny go?
 
If pulled over for suspected DWI, instead of the officer having you perform "agility focused test" such as the nose touch, or walk the line..stand on one foot etc..(not everyone is very agile).How about he take a short ride around the block with ya. If you run a light, hit a curb, smash a mail box...Your SOL busted. But if you make it back safely and the officer didn't pee his pants...You're free to go.

Ron White put this in my head.
 
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If a gallon of 50/50 antifreeze is $11.29 and a gallon of straight is $13.00 why cant I buy that 1/2 gal separate for $2???
 
Dylan W. said:
If pulled over for suspected DWI, instead of the officer having you perform "agility focused test" such as the nose touch, or walk the line..stand on one foot etc..(not everyone is very agile).How about he take a short ride around the block with ya. If you run a light, hit a curb, smash a mail box...Your SOL busted. But if you make it back safely and the officer didn't pee his pants...You're free to go.

Ron White put this in my head.
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Reason most people can't drive drunk is they never practice.
 
I many species males spend their first moments struggling to leave the womb..........................








































and the rest of our lives trying to get back in there ;)
 
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AS I AGE, I REALIZE THAT:
1. I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert advice.
2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.
3. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
4. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs work.
5. The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
6. When I was a child I thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a mini vacation.
7. The day the world runs out of beer is just too terrible to think about.
8. Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.
9. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.
10. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
11. When the kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".
12. At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for
 
I witnessed my buddy trying to flirt with a chick at the restaurant.

Him- well hello honey! Is this seat empty?
Her- yes, and this seat will be too, if you sit down.

Him- haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Her-yes...that's why I don't go there anymore!

Him- but I really know how to please a lady!
Her- Then why aren't you leaving?

Him- Your place or mine?
Her- Both! You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Him-well, what's your number?
Her- it's in the book.
Him- But I don't know your name.
Her- That's in the book too.

Him- I think I'd go to the end of the earth for you!
Her- Great! Do you think you could say there?
 
The most important thing about having a mustache is perfecting the evil mustache stare.
I've found that I can verbally assult up to four people at one time by just looking in their general direction. No words necessary.
 
XJsavage said:
The most important thing about having a mustache is perfecting the evil mustache stare.
I've found that I can verbally assult up to four people at one time by just looking in their general direction. No words necessary.
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Maybe it's time to buy a razor :eek:
 
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