So there I was.............

My idiot story just happened yesterday....


I don't drink caffeine, I train pretty hard and eat pretty clean, but yesterday my body literally shut down. After a 5:00am wake up, 6 hours of driving to Virginia and back, a 3 hour intense meeting in VA, and a pretty good work out last night, I almost passed out- lucky to have landed on the couch. I'm thinking it could have been from my diet, not from an average day of work... The consumption looks like this (keep in mind I don't drink soda, tea, or coffee):
  • 2 servings of AMP Energy Drink
  • Extra large Mello Yello
  • Red Bull
  • N.O. Xplode pre work out energy booster (it feels like drinking ten 5 Hour Energies at once)
  • A 3/4lb double cheese burger
I woke up this morning feeling like I had been at a RAVE party all night hopped up on techno and neon. Man I miss college....
 
I love coffee's flavor and the smell of it brewing, but 2 or 3 cups in the am and I have trouble getting to sleep at 10pm, no matter how tired I am!!
I cannot drink Mountain Dew or Mello Yellow anymore or I will feel "wired" for hours and get bad heartburn. I tried a 5 hour energy once and had heart palapitations!! Getting older means you can't rock and roll ( or Rave ) like you used too, w/o consequences :handed: I also miss the "fun" of college years, but had only 1 yr, of actual enrollment :redface:
 
So when I turned 16 my dad told me if I ever wanted a car I had to pay for them with money I earned.. needless to say I have had a lot of cars :)

well my 2nd car I ever owned was a 1979 Buick Special chocolate Brown (think 8 foot hood, 2 door car that is 25 feet long) well myself and 2 buddies go to town -New Haven, CT and go out partying and being reckless etc.. we are all 18 years old.. well on the way home driving down I-95 one of my buddies starts talking about a movie (called Mad Love) were the girl covers the eyes of a driver in a bronco and she tells him to trust her and she gives him directions on when to turn etc..

Some how we thought this would be fun, so here we are doing 65 MPH driving down I-95 at midnight in my HUGE car and my eyes are covered and my buddies are laughing telling me to turn little right, little left etc.. well we do this for about 4 mins ( felt like 60 mins ) and all of a sudden I hear both guys YELLING.. one says TURN LEFT , and the other Yells TURN RIGHT and I am like what the HELL is going on and for some reason the one guy is not letting go of my eyes so I still cant see ( I think he panic-ed ).

So I rip his hands of my eyes to only see that I am about 1" on the drivers side from the Jersey barrier dividing the road and of course I shock the steering wheel the wrong way yup to the drivers side.. I am thinking, Son of BITCH we are dead.. next thing I see/feel is the front tire hit the barrier and the car starts to lift and drive right up that son of a bitch and we are now about 3 feet in the air as I look over at the cars going the other direction and what do I see but a Trooper looking right at me with his JAW wide open and his eyes about to jump out of his head.

Right then I think to myself what the hell were we thinking and if we make it threw this we are gonna end up in jail or in the hospital.. But, Somehow the car lurches back to the right and BAM the car bottoms out, sparks flying, car swerving side to side and we are back on the ground still doing 65MPH so I quickly move over to the right and get off the next exit pull over at bottom of ramp get out ( no one has said anything since we landed ) I check car and all looks good so we hope back start laughing our asses off and drive home..

I always wondered what that trooper told his buddies back at the station :)

PS: I have driven up to Jersey Barriers with cars while in high school and somehow both cars were fine and so were all the people inside.. yup I was an idiot..
 
bryanjongodart said:
this is the most alarming of all the stories.....i really hope you learned your lesson. haha
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Yep.....I've done some stupid shit before when under the influence, but that's impressive. We might need a whole nother thread for the " So there I was " Alkyhaul stories" :lol:................... keep'em coming, we ALL can learn from our, or others mistakes :beer:"
 
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rockcity said:
man I'm glad I can't add anything worthwhile to this thread...







at least not yet anyway :lol:
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Give it a few weeks and the story will start out like this....
Hi my name is Rob and I am walking because my wallet was too tight to keep my 6.0 going....:flipoff2:
 
Well, there was this one time, in Oliver Springs last year.... There was an ice machine, tow truck, stuck F250 in a 3" deep ditch, beer, beer, beer, cop 1, cop 2, me covered in mud, Ron doing whatever, sobriety tests, strippers, $9 beers, and police escorts. I'll leave it at that! :D :lol:
 
Every story I type has some kind of very illegal activity in it, and makes me look like a pretty bad guy...

Im not sure I can post these stories lol. Gonna have to modify them with the "So this guy I know" and "once my friend"

Done alot of messed up things in the past... heres a quick, and basc one.

I was drinking in Greensboro at Corner Bar, on tuesday (aka mug night, $1 beer) with some friends, its about 1 am and we are all pretty intoxicated, I walk to the bathroom to drain the snake, and find a bald dude in there barfing, like, all over the place, was just awful, so I walk over to the bartender and ask if she minds if I go around back, she says "No I just sent someone else around back too" I said aight cool and walked out.

Well I made a right, instead of a left... Ended up pissing into Spring Garden St, undercovers slammed me on a car (not mine) and handcuffed me, my dong still hanging out, and dragged me over to the cop car (a unmarked toyota car). Sure enough, the other guy the bartender sent around back was in cuffs already too. My brother and some friends started chanting "Wiener patrol" at the officers and it kinda picked up, got pretty loud, probably the only time I will ever laugh while being arrested.
 
rockcity said:
Well, there was this one time, in Oliver Springs last year.... There was an ice machine, tow truck, stuck F250 in a 3" deep ditch, beer, beer, beer, cop 1, cop 2, me covered in mud, Ron doing whatever, sobriety tests, strippers, $9 beers, and police escorts. I'll leave it at that! :D :lol:
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3" ditch??? thats a piss puddle :D , shurely you meant a 3' ditch.......... and it sounds like you left out all the good parts of the story. I understand if the case is still pending :lol: ..........lawyers SUCK! :rockon:
 
too bad all the dead rednecks can't talk. There would be some funy stories.

rednecks can get talked into doing just about anything stupid. Thats why so many of the die doin stupid crap!
 
3", 3', whos counting? It was like 3am, raining, with all kinds of "distractions" :D



And actually, that 3" ditch LOOKED like 3", felt like 3', but after seeing it again this week, was more like 5"... :lol:
 
XJfreakHO said:
Every story I type has some kind of very illegal activity in it, and makes me look like a pretty bad guy...

Im not sure I can post these stories lol. Gonna have to modify them with the "So this guy I know" and "once my friend"

Done alot of messed up things in the past... heres a quick, and basc one.

I was drinking in Greensboro at Corner Bar, on tuesday (aka mug night, $1 beer) with some friends, its about 1 am and we are all pretty intoxicated, I walk to the bathroom to drain the snake, and find a bald dude in there barfing, like, all over the place, was just awful, so I walk over to the bartender and ask if she minds if I go around back, she says "No I just sent someone else around back too" I said aight cool and walked out.

Well I made a right, instead of a left... Ended up pissing into Spring Garden St, undercovers slammed me on a car (not mine) and handcuffed me, my dong still hanging out, and dragged me over to the cop car (a unmarked toyota car). Sure enough, the other guy the bartender sent around back was in cuffs already too. My brother and some friends started chanting "Wiener patrol" at the officers and it kinda picked up, got pretty loud, probably the only time I will ever laugh while being arrested.
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DING DING DING WE HAVE A WEINER, I mean WINNER :D

These stories are way better than any so called " reality TV " probly cause they're REAL!!
 
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It was real funny until my attorney told me if I didnt "deal with this appropriately" I could be put on a sexual predator list or something. So he got his money and I did a few hours of community service.
 
i have stayed out of this thread because i could type all day about some of the stupid things i have done.
it was a cold friday night sometime in late november many years ago when my days of sobriety were far less than my days of intoxication. the doorbell rings and i go to answer it and my best friend is standing there with a case of beer. my first thought was "great, no need for a beer run", and told him to come on in. we sat around and drank a few, and some point i asked if he needed another, he said sure and decided he was going to stay for the night, at that point he decided that he was going to remove the .22 derringer from his back pocket and lay it on the coffee table(he never left home without it), as he laid it on the coffee table there was a loud bang and a sharp pain in my right knee. i looked down and my the first words out of my mouth were " you fucken shot me", to which his reply was the only logical response "oops". after sitting back down and wrapping a towel around my leg , we discussed our plan of attack seeing as both of us were much too intoxicated to attempt the drive to the hospital, the only thing i could think of at that time was that he was to be my beer bitch the rest of the night because i wasn't getting up to walk to the fridge.
the next morning he drove me to the hospital and we avoided all the messy paperwork of being shot by saying we were at a party in the woods and someone threw some ammo in the fire. the doctor wanted to know how and why i had waited for 10+ hours before coming to have a bullet removed from my knee cap, to which my response was " mike was being my beer bitch and i figured i would get as much out of it as i could'.
 
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