Tails
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2016
- Location
- Kernersville
So some of y’all have heard the story from me in person but I’ll put the full story here. Sorry for the long read. This forum really has given me family and without them I would not be here today. I was in a marriage that I wasn’t happy in but life was descent. August of 2020 I went on a trip of a lifetime to help a good friend out. Most of that trip was documented on here. Well when I got home I told my wife I missed her and she informed me she didn’t miss me and wished I had never came home. We tried marital counseling but again it didn’t go well. In May we decided we were going to go our separate ways. We posted the house for sale and within two days we had an awesome offer and sold the house. That’s when life kicked my butt. I tried to get an apartment to find out that due to something on my credit 5 years ago I could not get an apartment. I needed a place to go. I reached out to @Jason W. And he said come stay here. I moved out to his cabin and we began to start working on a plan going forward. Now when my wife and I split, a lot happened in a very very short time. She took my dog that was being trained to be my service animal. Those that met Hershey will tell you, from day 1 he knew how to pull me out of my bad places. At the time my daughter (from previous marriage) was living with us and home schooled. Since I no longer had a house her mom who still had custody pulled her back to her house. Now I lost my daughter and it became hit and miss on when I could see her. As all this was happening I lost my grandfather and my best friend who happened to be my brother unexpectedly. At this point I felt like I had lost everything in my life that kept me grounded.
On July 2nd I realized I had a full plan to end my life. I walked into J&J broken skull garage and told @Jason W. and @josh$$ to take the keys to my Jeep because I had plans to use my winch and hang myself. They asked if I wanted to go talk to someone and took me to Asheville VA. I spent 10 days in the hospital and they put me on medications. I left the hospital feeling like a million bucks. I was ready to get my life back. I left and came back to Fayetteville to start house hunting. Three days after getting released I had realized I wasn’t sleeping well. I had my daughter that day and we went and looked at houses and had an overall good day together. I told her I was tired and took her home early. I got back to the hotel and took my nightly medicine and tried to sleep. I woke up a hour later feeling a type of way I hope to never feel again. I was having convulsions, hallucinations, I saw and talked to the devil that night for real. I couldn’t stop pacing. I would spend every day for the rest of my life in worst combat ever to never feel that way again. I tried to drive from Fayetteville back to Asheville VA to find out what was happening. I was constantly on the phone on this trip with @jeepin' jen, @Mulishajoe, @Keith1138 @Jason W. and a few others not on this forum. They can all vouch for how bad this was. I made it almost to Greensboro where a friend met me and drove me the rest of the way. Once I got to the hospital they realized I had unintentionally overdosed on the medicine. I was taking as directed but my body was not processing it out. I was on Lithium and for anyone that knows anything about it I was way past toxicity and past lethal dosage by .2 they gave me several IV’s to dilute my system and sent me to a hospital in SC.
While at the hospital in SC I was treated so bad I ended up leaving against medical authorization and filed a report on them a few days later. That hospital is now blacklisted from the whole VA network but that’s another story.
I felt like a burden on Jason and reached out to another friend in Greensboro who owns a shop. He contacted a customer and rented a RV for me to stay in for three months. I moved in there and tried to help him as available. I have many bad days due to medical reasons and cannot have an actual job because of them. Through the VA I found out about the lone survivor foundation and applied for it. I received a date for October 5th. In September I was having a bad day and my buddy said “you need some trail therapy” so we loaded jeeps up and went to windrock for the App. Toyota roundup. While there I met a guy who was a nomad and lived in his van and towed is Toyota. That got some gears turning. I came back home and reached out to @77GreenMachine and started talking to him. I placed an order for a high rise cap for my truck and began planning a build. I talked to several different shops about a build and they said they wanted to help. My date for LSF came and I left for Texas. I came back and went to get my truck and was informed they needed it until Nov 1st. That also happened to be the date I had to turn the RV back in. Well Nov 1st came and I went to get my truck and was blown away. These shop built my truck into something I could only imagine in my dreams. I have been mostly living in my truck all last month. I will soon be heading off and trying to find out how to be content with myself. I have never been alone and need to find happiness within. The only place that my head shuts up is on the trails. I have spoken with my daughter and when she is allowed to spend time with me I will come back and get her for weekends. Her and I have a plan for moving forward.
On July 2nd I realized I had a full plan to end my life. I walked into J&J broken skull garage and told @Jason W. and @josh$$ to take the keys to my Jeep because I had plans to use my winch and hang myself. They asked if I wanted to go talk to someone and took me to Asheville VA. I spent 10 days in the hospital and they put me on medications. I left the hospital feeling like a million bucks. I was ready to get my life back. I left and came back to Fayetteville to start house hunting. Three days after getting released I had realized I wasn’t sleeping well. I had my daughter that day and we went and looked at houses and had an overall good day together. I told her I was tired and took her home early. I got back to the hotel and took my nightly medicine and tried to sleep. I woke up a hour later feeling a type of way I hope to never feel again. I was having convulsions, hallucinations, I saw and talked to the devil that night for real. I couldn’t stop pacing. I would spend every day for the rest of my life in worst combat ever to never feel that way again. I tried to drive from Fayetteville back to Asheville VA to find out what was happening. I was constantly on the phone on this trip with @jeepin' jen, @Mulishajoe, @Keith1138 @Jason W. and a few others not on this forum. They can all vouch for how bad this was. I made it almost to Greensboro where a friend met me and drove me the rest of the way. Once I got to the hospital they realized I had unintentionally overdosed on the medicine. I was taking as directed but my body was not processing it out. I was on Lithium and for anyone that knows anything about it I was way past toxicity and past lethal dosage by .2 they gave me several IV’s to dilute my system and sent me to a hospital in SC.
While at the hospital in SC I was treated so bad I ended up leaving against medical authorization and filed a report on them a few days later. That hospital is now blacklisted from the whole VA network but that’s another story.
I felt like a burden on Jason and reached out to another friend in Greensboro who owns a shop. He contacted a customer and rented a RV for me to stay in for three months. I moved in there and tried to help him as available. I have many bad days due to medical reasons and cannot have an actual job because of them. Through the VA I found out about the lone survivor foundation and applied for it. I received a date for October 5th. In September I was having a bad day and my buddy said “you need some trail therapy” so we loaded jeeps up and went to windrock for the App. Toyota roundup. While there I met a guy who was a nomad and lived in his van and towed is Toyota. That got some gears turning. I came back home and reached out to @77GreenMachine and started talking to him. I placed an order for a high rise cap for my truck and began planning a build. I talked to several different shops about a build and they said they wanted to help. My date for LSF came and I left for Texas. I came back and went to get my truck and was informed they needed it until Nov 1st. That also happened to be the date I had to turn the RV back in. Well Nov 1st came and I went to get my truck and was blown away. These shop built my truck into something I could only imagine in my dreams. I have been mostly living in my truck all last month. I will soon be heading off and trying to find out how to be content with myself. I have never been alone and need to find happiness within. The only place that my head shuts up is on the trails. I have spoken with my daughter and when she is allowed to spend time with me I will come back and get her for weekends. Her and I have a plan for moving forward.
