You must choose one or...

Which do you choose?

  • Wet, cold TP

    Votes: 14 48.3%

  • Glossy magazine (Southern Living)

    Votes: 15 51.7%
  • Total voters
    29
McCracken

McCracken

Logan Can't See This
Joined
Jul 9, 2005
Location
With your mom at a nice seafood dinner
So here it is. The real choice that's got everybody all tore up. If you had to wipe with one would you choose wet, cold TP or a glossy magazine like Southern Living. You must choose one. Not choosing will result in your reputation of being a man/woman who likes like to french your sister broadcasted all over the internet. If not your sister then mother.
 
Wet, cold TP = Fingers

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Don't use the stuff, but if it's gotta be cold wet AP, then charmin ultra...heck yeah...you can wash your car with that stuff and it won't fall apart.

I'd just pinch it off. And hope it wasn't mexican food the night before.
 
I'm thinking like @Wes. It's like a ghetto baby wipe but I don't know. Southern Living has some good recipes. It'd be like introducing your asshole to its future purge. More like taunting I'd say. Nothing says I hate you like showing a deliciously prepared meal that they will never experience except when it's mashed up and had all the nutrients sucked out. What an asshole you would be to your asshole.
 
I voted for the magazine....wet paper would create too many small,wet brown and white dinglberries and that's just nasty :poop: a recipe for swamp ass.
 
The glossy stuff is like riding a slip-n-slide naked, it might not feel too bad but it's not taking your shit. How cold are you talking on the wet TP? Because at some point it becomes corncob(ish) which isn't too bad.

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I'd take the wet TP option, then just continue wasting my life on senseless nc4x4 threads like im doing now until it dried a little... worst aftermath you get from that is your legs fall asleep and you get a big red ring...
 
Hold it til you're constipated?
 
You guys aren't creative enough.
If you take the glossy mag paper, and crumple it into a ball, then unfold and re-crumple a couple of times, it will get a texture to it, and be softer.
Then re-crumple and wipe w/ the ball just like the smart guys do w/ TP anyway. Will probably get a little smear but it wouldn't be so bad.
If fact you could then spit on the softened paper before the final balling-up so moisten it to keep any glossy-rub down to minimum.

This whole experience could be made quite tolerable if it was a political ad ripped from the mag.

That reminds me, there's a very old Garage thread I need to reply to.
 
RatLabGuy said:
You guys acrumple it into a ball, then unfold and re-crumple a couple of times, it will get a texture to it, and be softer.
Then re-crumple and wipe w/ the ball just like the smart guys w/anyway
Click to expand...




.......................I've done that w those rough brown hand towels many times. It's kinda like bowling :lol:
 
Infamous1 said:
The glossy stuff is like riding a slip-n-slide naked, it might not feel too bad but it's not taking your shit. How cold are you talking on the wet TP? Because at some point it becomes corncob(ish) which isn't too bad.

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Click to expand...
Like you just walked in to find the janitor leaving after he had dipped it on his way out with the mop cart.
 
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