Mall Crawling Racer...... #4410

[Chris_Keziah]

Most entertaining build thread ever

 

[REDLYNER]

Chase at ECGS added a little Awesome Sauce to the axle with his custom brake setup:

Soooooo..... With the bigger hubs I can no longer rock my 5x4.5's, a call to RACELINE wheels got that squared away. New lug pattern, aluminum ring Monsters showed up a few days later:

With the wheels here and the axle ready for install, I jumped in the truck, leaned the seat back to cruiser mode, and headed out on the 7 hour round trip to drop off the Mall Crawler.

I met with Chase and his team to go over my two main goals:

1. I must be able to use the word "Spider" as both an adjective and a verb when describing my rig.
2. I need to know 5 new phrases I can say at the next cruise-in that makes me sound fast. First he said "are you serious?" (why does every shop ask me that?) Then they suggested me saying things like: CTMs, 4340 Ten Factory shafts, and F9 third.

Completely satisfied with the action plan, I left the jeep for it's make over, gave a Jersey Shore fist pump, and made the trec back home.

 

[Kamel]

You sir, have what is one of my favorite rigs, EVER!!! But DAMN!; Are you made of money!?

 

[REDLYNER]

You sir, have what is one of my favorite rigs, EVER!!! But DAMN!; Are you made of money!?

Thank you very much! My mods come from a simple two part plan that I have devised:

1. Hedge that my son will get a scholarship and blow his tuition money on the jeep
2. Force the wife to work 3 jobs to support my racing habit

The plan is nearly perfect, but I do miss my wife from time to time

 

[Kamel]

Thank you very much! My mods come from a simple two part plan that I have devised:

1. Hedge that my son will get a scholarship and blow his tuition money on the jeep
2. Force the wife to work 3 jobs to support my racing habit

The plan is nearly perfect, but I do miss my wife from time to time

I like it!!!

 

[stinkbomb]

Here goes...
Stock housing from Bed Bath And Beyond




Snagged some welding wire from Yankee Candle(Because I'm from PA)




Mockup with knuckles from the buy one get one bin at Payless Shoes


Ride height with the upper link




Turning the track bar end down 1" to fit into 1.5 x .250 tube


tie rod and drag link in to locate track bar mount


Not a lot of room

 

[stinkbomb]

Tie rod JUST clears diff at full lock

The heim on the pitman arm was switched with a High angle 1-ton TRE(I was against heims all together on the steering, but I wouldn't let the heim on the pitman arm go like that, too much liability, especially if it fails and the jeep plows into a mall rent-a-cop)

Full Droop

Upper mount gussets(hand blocking sun glare, Sunglass Hut doesn't have any Ray Bans out for the Iphone yet)



And for a plethora of gay weld pictures

 

[stinkbomb]

Cearanced the track bar bracket a bit as well

Steering and track bar are all fully TIG'd(as does ALL steering I make)



Ran out of room for the sway bar link mounts. Drilled a hole in the air bump towers, welded a nut on the inside, then simply screw the stud into it.


Pulled it out Friday afternoon and put it on the RTI ramp, adjusted the air bumps a little and made sure everything cleared. Finish welded everything Saturday, switching out some hardware this morning, little paint and she's ready to ride!

 

[REDLYNER]

That is awesome! I love the post hahaha.

This weekend I will try my hardest to break everything you guys just put together. Can't wait to get back behind the wheel.

-jay

 

[REDLYNER]

If I had a quarter for every Starbucks I saw at the Durhamtown race...... I'd have zero quarters. ZERO QUARTERS BRAH!

And on top of that, the Dirt Riot organizers were like:
"Be at the start/finish for an 8:00am driver's meeting".
I was like:
"Yo boss, I don't do 8:00am. Howz 'bout like 9 fiddy?"
The officials replied back with:
"Wait, you are an actual racer? I thought someone had hired some kind of clown or entertainment".

After we cleared up the confusion, I was informed that they would not be delaying the start of the 6 different classes of racers, so I would be showing up at 8.


Couple of shots from the day-

Just when I was starting to think I was fast, I got a 600+ horsepower reminder that no, I was actually not fast. This was fast:

 

[CTRaceWorx]

Nice pictures

 

[REDLYNER]

I'mma 'bout to drop some level 9 Mall Crawling on this thread. What is the one thing that is guaranteed to make me look faster out in the desert? LS3? Wayne Tune? Nah mate, those won't touch how much faster this will make me look-

A REDLYNER Racing commercial









This just got real brah.

#fistpumpflatbill

 

[Mulishajoe]

This thread can never get old always a good lol.

 

[Chris_Keziah]

That was good

 

[cgm147]

Lol that was great love the finish with the old spice whistle

Sent from a hotel room
in a random po dunk town.

 

[Dylan W.]

the video is great Jay!

 

[REDLYNER]

the video is great Jay!

Thanks Dylan... I'll throw some outtakes up here too, they were about as ridiculous as the final commercial.

 

[Kamel]

The only problem with that vid........ Not enough attention paid to the bikini clad women! Great video. You never cease to amaze me with your creativity.

 

[MetalCraftSolved]

Nice, lol....

 

[Andy J.]

I just read thru this whole thread. Awesome.

 

[REDLYNER]

I just read thru this whole thread. Awesome.

That's a lot of ridiculousness to take in all at once .

 

[Andy J.]

That's a lot of ridiculousness to take in all at once .

I especially liked the conversation transcripts! oh yeah, and all the pics and parts and race summary. Looking forward to the next chapter!

 

[Dylan W.]

The next chapter should go something like this


So, as I was rolling along at the mall one sunny day, top laid back, new abercrombie tank hugging tight, It suddenly occurred to me, as I had my eyes peeled for the next speed bump. A group of metro mall goers were walking towards the sidewalk. Busy trying to decide if I should slide the ray-bans up to my forehead for maximum vision or leave them on my eyes for ultimate chill/mysterious factor, I became distracted, hit the speed bump with way to little speed and brah...I stalled out! I hoped no one noticed but yo..everyone in the group turned and looked at me. The youngest chick even did a sassy little duck face, as if to say she'd never stall her car like that.
Embarrassed and now nervous, I re started the jeep, made sure it was in 1st gear and crept out of site from the cool kids that were still staring. I even glanced in the mirror and verbally reassured myself that I was still chill. I turned left into the main traffic exit( there's 4 speed bumps within 200 ft, so this is a legit strip of real estate) as I turned ,my locker started to chatter,I got a little nervous and tapped the gas pedal a lil too hard and chirped the rear tires. This caught the attention of the mall security and next thing you know, I have spent the next 30 minutes pulled over talking to this mall cop that clearly only has an interest in being seen talking to me, as if my coolness would somehow transpose on to him. Yeah right bra! But wait...the story gets good from here...While wasting precious time lending coolness to the mall cop, the same set of uber cool mall goers strolled back past me. All eyes were on me and my mall crawler..I heard snickers and laughter, some were pointing. I did not feel chill anymore. I wondered why they were dissing me and what they were pointing at. Once they were out of sight, I opened the door and stepped out for a quick look-see.
To my surprise and dismay, I noticed that I must have driven over a Mcdonalds bag that was littering the strip. Not cool brah...not cool at all! It was stuck to my shiny black tire. Turns out it was a busted sweet and sour sauce packet that had caused the bag to stick. I had never felt this ridiculed in my entire metro adult life. I was determined this kind of stuff would not fly. It could never happen again.
I had to find an answer. What had happened that day? Why did I stall on the speed bump? Why had I not seen the Micky D bag? Why on earth did I chirp the tires and get pulled over near the buggy return rack?
The answer occurred to me all at once. I had been busy stalking speed bumps and trying to look cool in the drivers seat. I had pushed the limits of multitasking beyond the breaking point. It was downright dangerous to my rep and to my ride. I knew ,right then and there ,what I had to do.

I slipped my blue tooth in my ear and made the following phone call.

''Yo Dylan! Its me Jay. Dude! Ya gotta help me out Brah! I need a driver for this jeep at Koh! I wanna be able to look as chill as I can and I am starting to think that the best way to do this safely, is from the passengers side.'' I need a driver with wheel man skill that can match my 'you wanna be me legitness'. We can pull this off brah. I'll call you back in late November to set up the details . Word...later man!

 

[91oneton]

I see super bowl commercial

 

[REDLYNER]

KOH, Dirt Riot, ECORS..... I thought I was ready. All of the pre-running, all of the tuning, it was all in preparation for the main event, the grande finale..... The Show. The weather was perfect for the event, my jeep was tight, I knew exactly what the game plan was. What I did not prepare for however was the hoards of competitors..... hundreds of them! Something different about "The Show", these people weren't here to make friends, everyone had the same goal in mind. I was determined to have my best finish yet, but so was everyone else, I had no idea what I had signed up for............














Black Friday 2013.

Yep, That is the line of madness I was in on Thanksgiving day. I literally got run over by two women and their shopping cart.


Ran over, passed by, hardly noticed. Like I said, I thought all of the races and events I did this year had me prepared, I wasn't even close brah... Not even close. So it's time to look at everything. I need more travel, I need more wheelbase, I need more articulation, let's cut this thing apart and get more Mall Crawlier.



Here is the rig all ready for Thanksgiving day/Black Friday madness:

Then off to Maryland, where my co-driver Mike O'Donnell (MO2500) is going to be performing surgery:

Axles out:

Time to remove all of the CA mounts:

Air bumps cut off too:

Mike burning up the wire brushes: