Paying for College

[UTfball68]

Clearly what you do works for you and your family, and I can see why based on all your posts, but it seems like you treat everything like a business that has to have some ROI. Hopefully it works out in the long run. Telling my kid sorry I'll only pay for college if they want to do X, Y, or Z I can't imagine, but that's why we are all free to parent differently. I'll invest in their happiness, I hope my kid picks something that makes them happy that pays the bills, I could care less if they make 30k a year or 300k a year, I'll help them the same as long as they put in work.

I wouldn’t really call it a ‘business transaction’…rather like I said above, there’s not a single one of us that don’t bitch and piss and moan about our job…so how happy can anyone truly be? Plain and simple, work is frustrating, regardless of field. I’d rather be frustrated making money, than not. Just like why I won’t let my kids eat only candy, that may not make them happy in the moment, but I know it’ll prevent them pain and heart ache in the long term. I look at putting them on a path to be financially stable and self-sufficient, no different than not allowing the candy. I’m not going to be negligent and continue to offer the candy, so they can have their moment of happiness, because they don’t see or understand the long term consequences of eating nothing but candy.

 

[DSM Turbos]

I wouldn’t really call it a ‘business transaction’…rather like I said above, there’s not a single one of us that don’t bitch and piss and moan about our job…so how happy can anyone truly be? Plain and simple, work is frustrating, regardless of field. I’d rather be frustrated making money, than not. Just like why I won’t let my kids eat only candy, that may not make them happy in the moment, but I know it’ll prevent them pain and heart ache in the long term. I look at putting them on a path to be financially stable and self-sufficient, no different than not allowing the candy. I’m not going to be negligent and continue to offer the candy, so they can have their moment of happiness, because they don’t see or understand the long term consequences of eating nothing but candy.

I picked make more money over a job I like. However, I often regret that decision but its hard to turn back now, if my kid wants to have a job they like more (a career they want vs a career making a lot of money) that pays the bills, go for it, I'll support them any way I can. The return is more than monetary for me.

 

[CasterTroy]

I hate to tell you, but I work with a lot of people that have "weird" bachelors degrees like womens studies

AND you're surrounded by liberals?! Sounds like a toxic workplace to me

 

[UTfball68]

I picked make more money over a job I like. However, I often regret that decision but its hard to turn back now, if my kid wants to have a job they like more (a career they want vs a career making a lot of money) that pays the bills, go for it, I'll support them any way I can. The return is more than monetary for me.

But the point you’re missing is, who’s to say that job you liked, you still would? I’ve never met or managed a single person who didn’t dislike their job at some point.

 

[Noel]

, I hope my kid picks something that makes them happy that pays the bills, I could care less if they make 30k a year or 300k a year, I'll help them the same as long as they put in work.

Kind of a catch to this part… unless you invest.fully for them if they rack up tons of school debt they will be miserable paying for it for the rest of their careers. I think at the end of the day there is no real answer here. Hell I know people who have HPU degrees owe hundreds of thousands and making 40k. They will have that burden forever.

 

[DSM Turbos]

But the point you’re missing is, who’s to say that job you liked, you still would? I’ve never met or managed a single person who didn’t dislike their job at some point.

Nah, i'm not missing your point, but you might be missing mine

Kind of a catch to this part… unless you invest.fully for them if they rack up tons of school debt they will be miserable paying for it for the rest of their careers. I think at the end of the day there is no real answer here. Hell I know people who have HPU degrees owe hundreds of thousands and making 40k. They will have that burden forever.

Completely fair, that's why I also said I'd help help with what I'm able. I'm not going to be able to afford Duke, hah. If they wanted to spent 100k and be a teacher, social worker, etc I'd happily help the best I can. Now if they want to be a grade school teacher and go to Duke, they are going to be helping pay for most of it, but it wouldn't matter if they were going to be a Dr and go to Duke, i'd help the same.

We are pretty lucky here in NC to have a lot of great colleges that don't cost too much (relative to other states, etc).

 

[RatLabGuy]

I wouldn’t really call it a ‘business transaction’…rather like I said above, there’s not a single one of us that don’t bitch and piss and moan about our job…so how happy can anyone truly be? Plain and simple, work is frustrating, regardless of field. I’d rather be frustrated making money, than not.

But why assume that rule works for everyone? Not everybody finds the same happiness doing just "any" job.
I'll be honest, I freaking love my career. I'd do it for free (yes, with some changes) if my family bills were paid.
Wife is a teacher and doesn't make jack shit but won't quit and do something more productive to pay for our retirement bc she loves her role in our community.
We are in the position we are kargely because - wait for it - other means paid for our education.

Her parents have lived in poverty their whole lives, will die with nothing to their names but are some of the happiest, most content people I know and are well loved by their comunity.
Some people are just called to badly paying professions. [Well, her father is an archie-tech, he's poor bc he's a terrible businessman and won't charge what he's worth. But the point stands]
What sucks is that it happens bc we as a society take advantage of that calling by paying them so badly... but thats a different discussion.

Kind of a catch to this part… unless you invest.fully for them if they rack up tons of school debt they will be miserable paying for it for the rest of their careers. I think at the end of the day there is no real answer here. Hell I know people who have HPU degrees owe hundreds of thousands and making 40k. They will have that burden forever.

The whole point is to help alleviate this misery by, yes, providing that investment for them.
I wouldn't mind paying for a teaching degree bc I know that we need teachers, and they would enjoy the career. I consider it a payback to society bc I can afford it. Hell if I could afford it I'd pay for lot of people to become teachers..
Hell I'd MUCH rather pay for an education degree than say a law degree, because (1) the career could pay for it anyway, no need for our help and (2) too many of them fawker plaguing the face of the earth as it is

Now am I going to encourage them to a badly paying career? No. And I will encourage them to take whatever is the most fiscally responsible means to fit the career. But it isnn't my call what that career is.

 

[Ron]

So would you not pay for a teaching degree, social work, etc? Just because they don't pay well?

I would not.

I had a close female friend who wanted to be and is a teacher. Her dad is a very respected local businessman. I heard him tell her something when we were in high school that resonates to this day.

He said (remembering this is corrected for 1995 doll hairs)
"Teacher's are a noble profession and the world needs teachers. However we don't value teachers. They start teachers at $28,000. A cashier at Wal Mart makes $30,000 a year or more. Any person dumb enough to spend $30,000 to lose $2,000 ought to be shook and sure as shit don't need to be teaching no children about mathematics. If you want to do the Lord's, great, pastors agree to trade wealth for their calling. I didnt agree to trade my wealth for your calling. If you want to ignore money for the sake of purpose fine. But waste your money not mine."

 

[RatLabGuy]

I would not.

I had a close female friend who wanted to be and is a teacher. Her dad is a very respected local businessman. I heard him tell her something when we were in high school that resonates to this day.

He said (remembering this is corrected for 1995 doll hairs)
"Teacher's are a noble profession and the world needs teachers. However we don't value teachers. They start teachers at $28,000. A cashier at Wal Mart makes $30,000 a year or more. Any person dumb enough to spend $30,000 to lose $2,000 ought to be shook and sure as shit don't need to be teaching no children about mathematics. If you want to do the Lord's, great, pastors agree to trade wealth for their calling. I didnt agree to trade my wealth for your calling. If you want to ignore money for the sake of purpose fine. But waste your money not mine."

100% respect this philosophy.
I think part of the difference is perhaps how money is viewed in the family...? For some people it is "my money", "wife's money", "kids money" etc.
For others it is more broadly "family money".
Personally I wouldn't say "waste your money not mine," I'd say "Don't waste our [meaning the family's] money." Then its a question of who the decision maker is, and in our family that depends on what the situation/topic is.
I think that changes perspective a bit.

Also it raises the question - if everyone had this philosophy, where would the people in the poorly paid social services professions come from?
If applied universally it would means those degrees could not get any grants or financial aid, help from anyone. Only private loans. Then who would fill those careers we need?

 

[YotaOnRocks]

How many people have degrees and have never worked? I know several stay at home moms with degrees that have never worked a day….

Didn't know you knew my wife

 

[paradisePWoffrd]

I was lucky enough that my parents/grandparents started a 529 for us when we were young, and my parents were able to supplement the cost. My wife was not so much. Her parents paid freshman yr, but then her father passed, and she had to take out loans, while working fulltime, to finish her schooling.

We have been back and forth on paying for our kids school. We started a 529 plan for our boys, to hopefully help cover some of it. As others have mentioned, I will try to pay for what I can, if they arent wasting their time. One thing I have told them, "You can support yourself through college for whatever you want to do, but if you want us to help you, you will learn a skill/trade." It doesnt matter if they learn that while in college, or some other time, but I plan for them to have a "skill" that they can market for work, even if their degree doesnt get them there. My wife graduated with a BA in Psychology, and 100% agrees that some diplomas arent worth the paper or cost.

I knew in HS that I wanted to goto college for engineering. If my kids are up in the air about what they want to do, I fully intend for them to go to CC/Tech school for a few yrs before dropping the real money. Already, I can see that one of them will want to goto college, and likely will know what he wants to do before then, and the other will likely just want to go party for 4 yrs, which isnt going to be on my dime.

 

[Jody Treadway]

Since we're kidless and not starting in our mid 40s, here's my hypothetical answer.My wife and I have discussed this before.
We would encourage our theoretical child to attend a trade school and/or community college initially. We both support learing a trade and moving up from there as opposed to jumping head first into a 4 year program. They can either transfer after 2 years to complete a bachelor's degree or stick with a trade program.
If we had a child who is obviously gifted in XYZ and a 4 year program was the correct choice, we would change our approach. Same as if we had a total dumbass kid who just wanted to party for 4 years away from home. That wouldn't work for us.
We would want them to attend a school that would be concurrent with their strengths, not just so they can say they graduated from UNC, ECU, State, etc.
We would support them finiancially as long as they go along with our wishes and plan. If they deviate, they would be on their own.

I was accepted to all of the 4 year programs I applied to. But I have zero regrets attending Spartanbug Tech and earning my associates in Auto Tech as that opened a ton of doors for me. A bonus was saving my parents a ton of dough between scholarships and my sponsoring dealer picking up a majority of my tuition. I graduated in 1997 with zero debt, parents has zero debt, with a degree I could take to any Ford Lincoln Mercury dealer and start off making $50-$60k a year.
IMO, that's a solid start to a career with a ton of opportunities.

 

[RatLabGuy]

Since we're kidless and not starting in our mid 40s, here's my hypothetical answer.My wife and I have discussed this before.
We would encourage our theoretical child to attend a trade school and/or community college initially. We both support learing a trade and moving up from there as opposed to jumping head first into a 4 year program. They can either transfer after 2 years to complete a bachelor's degree or stick with a trade program.
If we had a child who is obviously gifted in XYZ and a 4 year program was the correct choice, we would change our approach. Same as if we had a total dumbass kid who just wanted to party for 4 years away from home. That wouldn't work for us.
We would want them to attend a school that would be concurrent with their strengths, not just so they can say they graduated from UNC, ECU, State, etc.
We would support them finiancially as long as they go along with our wishes and plan. If they deviate, they would be on their own.

This is pretty much the philosophy we settled on.
Up until a year ago we were pretty certain Son would do a year or two at the local CC then transfer, since he wants to do Engineering but wasn't sure on the field or anxious to move away.. But then we found the ideal program for him, and because it is so hands-on and intensive and starts Freshman year, transferring in buys you almost nothing. He decided to take the plunge and we're behind it.
Daughter we are pretty sure will be more of a meanderer and not likely do 4 year college immediately. But she knows that means she will have to learn a trade or skill of some sort.
Knowing her I suspect the yearn for independence and not be living w/ mom and dad anymore is going to drive her more than any call to a career path lol.

 

[Blaze]

We have 529 plans for both our boys. The rest we'll figure out when we get there.

My old son is super smart and in the IB program, along with being an athlete and active in youth ministry at church. I'm hoping for some kind of athletic scholarship there.

My younger son is super smart but doesn't want to act like it. He's a really damn good baseball player and that'll probably be his ticket to paying for college.

 

[ckruzer]

Ive very strongly shared with mine. You can do what everyone else does, and experience what they all do as well. You can go to college, spend the majority first half learning useless information and losing 2+ years to make money. You can learn the "degree" which you will probably not even get a job in... all so you can join the club of "the driven". Do you want to be driven in the capitalistic human cog? Or do you want to be a driver?

Average UNC in-state total is like $15k per academic year (no dorm)? Thats $60k plus he could use to start his own business... Out of state, double that at least?

My deal with him is when he graduates he lives at home for a minimum of one year, working with me at my business. During this time, if he knows the field he wants to enter, he utilizes all the tools out there (Google Certs, other Certification Programs, etc) to begin building a resume in this field. At the end he can make the choice he wants for himself. He can continue to work with me. He can go start his own business. He can go to college and do the career 9-5 route. I will support him with all my ability, whatever he chooses.

 

[Jody Treadway]

Something my wife and I have said, is how it's ridiculous to think at 18-22 you KNOW what you want to do the rest of your life (assuming paying for a degree/education to get there).
I'd support my kid taking a couple of years to sort things out as long as they are working in a career type enviroment. i.e.- working a trade, legitimate assistant, apprenticeship, etc.
Not a cashier, Uber Eats etc type job.

 

[Blaze]

Something my wife and I have said, is how it's ridiculous to think at 18-22 you KNOW what you want to do the rest of your life (assuming paying for a degree/education to get there).
I'd support my kid taking a couple of years to sort things out as long as they are working in a career type enviroment. i.e.- working a trade, legitimate assistant, apprenticeship, etc.
Not a cashier, Uber Eats etc type job.

I'm in my 40s and I still don't know what I want to do for a living. I just know it isn't what I'm doing now.

 

[RatLabGuy]

Something my wife and I have said, is how it's ridiculous to think at 18-22 you KNOW what you want to do the rest of your life (assuming paying for a degree/education to get there).
I'd support my kid taking a couple of years to sort things out as long as they are working in a career type enviroment. i.e.- working a trade, legitimate assistant, apprenticeship, etc.
Not a cashier, Uber Eats etc type job.

Its even more severe in Europe, many countries have students tracked for college vs trade by the middle of what we'd call high school.

 

[CLRracer]

I knew what I wanted to do at 20 and now at 40 I can't anymore

Duane

 

[UTfball68]

But why assume that rule works for everyone? Not everybody finds the same happiness doing just "any" job.
I'll be honest, I freaking love my career. I'd do it for free (yes, with some changes) if my family bills were paid.
Wife is a teacher and doesn't make jack shit but won't quit and do something more productive to pay for our retirement bc she loves her role in our community.
We are in the position we are kargely because - wait for it - other means paid for our education.

Her parents have lived in poverty their whole lives, will die with nothing to their names but are some of the happiest, most content people I know and are well loved by their comunity.
Some people are just called to badly paying professions. [Well, her father is an archie-tech, he's poor bc he's a terrible businessman and won't charge what he's worth. But the point stands]
What sucks is that it happens bc we as a society take advantage of that calling by paying them so badly... but thats a different discussion.

The whole point is to help alleviate this misery by, yes, providing that investment for them.
I wouldn't mind paying for a teaching degree bc I know that we need teachers, and they would enjoy the career. I consider it a payback to society bc I can afford it. Hell if I could afford it I'd pay for lot of people to become teachers..
Hell I'd MUCH rather pay for an education degree than say a law degree, because (1) the career could pay for it anyway, no need for our help and (2) too many of them fawker plaguing the face of the earth as it is

Now am I going to encourage them to a badly paying career? No. And I will encourage them to take whatever is the most fiscally responsible means to fit the career. But it isnn't my call what that career is.

I love my job as well, that doesn’t mean there’s still not bull shit…every employment opportunity has that bull shit, regardless of how much you enjoy what you do. For me, it’s about freedom, where I don’t have to put up with that bull shit. I’m willing to invest so my kids can have the same eventual freedom. If that’s not what they want, that’s fine by me, I do want them happy, I just won’t be investing in it. It’s just that simple. If my kids want to make $40k/yr and have parents not reinforce the lesson plan, or make $60k/yr wiping someone’s ass…more power to them, it IS noble…it just won’t be on my dime.

When it comes to philosophy on money…I have money, my kids don’t. If they want to maintain their lifestyle, we can work on a plan/road map to get them there. But what I’ve worked for and earned, won’t just be handed to them.

 

[skyhighZJ]

Its even more severe in Europe, many countries have students tracked for college vs trade by the middle of what we'd call high school.

Germany is prime example.

 

[rockcity]

Other…

We have NC529 plans for each of the kids.

I expect that the kids will get student loans to pay for college. Interest rates are low and tax deductible.

If the kids finish school in time, I’ll pay for their degree. If they go and party and fail classes and take 10 years to get a 4 year degree, then they can pay for that themselves.

 

[UTfball68]

Something my wife and I have said, is how it's ridiculous to think at 18-22 you KNOW what you want to do the rest of your life (assuming paying for a degree/education to get there).
I'd support my kid taking a couple of years to sort things out as long as they are working in a career type enviroment. i.e.- working a trade, legitimate assistant, apprenticeship, etc.
Not a cashier, Uber Eats etc type job.

I agree with your approach, but I do believe kids are and can be a helluvalot more adept at decision making than they’re given credit for. Sure there’s science saying their ability to make decisions isn’t fully formed. But I don’t believe it’s any accident my 6 year old is doing chemistry experiments, and saying she wants to be a doctor (of sorts) because she stumbled across first aid videos on her own. I do believe it’s the parents responsibility from a young age to expose the child to as much as they can, curate and nurture from there. As a parent you’re as guilty of indoctrination as any other source…whether it’s perpetual welfare or a path to a career. When I hear someone say a kid has no clue what they want to do, even a field of study, dafuq were the parents cultivating for the last 18 years? If the kid is interested in robotics, great…biology, math, veterinary, etc etc…a discipline may not be identified, but there’s a pretty good idea for a road map.

 

[StretchASU]

I agree…degrees are nothing but a sheet of paper to tell an employer that you can complete a long term task successfully. I’ve never once referred to one of my text books…google to the rescue. And last I checked, something like 80% of people with degrees are in fields other than what their degree was for.

When I went back to App to finish up after about 3 years in the “real world”, you would have thought I took a shit on my advisors desk when I asked what was the fastest way out with a 4 year piece of paper. I got the rah rah speech about this program or that. Nope, don’t care. 4 year piece of paper. Thanks.

 

[RatLabGuy]

Other…

We have NC529 plans for each of the kids.

I expect that the kids will get student loans to pay for college. Interest rates are low and tax deductible.

If the kids finish school in time, I’ll pay for their degree. If they go and party and fail classes and take 10 years to get a 4 year degree, then they can pay for that themselves.

Heads up - you can only use a very limited amount of 529 $$ for paying off loans. $10k total I believe. Thats not even 1 semester.
You also can't use it to pay off an under-the table "mom and dad" loan.
Our plan was the same until we learned that...

EDIT - you CAN use it, but it will incur penalties that make it to the point you might as well have invested in a conventional market vehicle with taxes and a higher rate of return.