Pick up lines let’s hear them

Loganwayne

Loganwayne

#BTL
Joined
Feb 15, 2013
Location
Clyde, North Carolina
So every once and a while I come up with a good pick up line for one of my buddies to try. Saturday night was one of them and I was wondering if anyone else has a quick whit and I’m sure I’ll get a good laugh out of them.

Here’s the one from Saturday.
Our waitress brought us our checks and a pen. It had a number for an attorney, so I told robby to ask her if that was her divorce lawyers number if not he has a good one that they can talk about over dinner. She said she just got engaged but that was the best she had heard in a long time and give him a 95/100. I told him he missed a fallow up. If she’s just getting engaged he should have gave her his number for when she did get divorced he could teach her the ropes.

I know some of you guys have got to have some good ones


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Former coworker told me this one.

Him: "Hey, I like your accent. You got a little redneck in you?"

Her: "No."

Him: "You want one?"

He claims it worked, but I'm not sure I'm buying it...lol. I usually never used a line much more than "Hey," "Hi," or something like that...I've got no imagination for pickup lines, but those always worked for me...lol
 
obullfish said:
I’ve used:
Do you have Cherokee in you?
Do ya want some?

Worked a couple times back when @Loganwayne was still in diapers. Was going to say back when he was still shitting himself but that’s probably only been a few weeks or so.
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More like a couple days


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StretchASU said:
I had a jewish girl ask for my number. I said no thanks, we use names around these parts.
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I dated a legally blind chick in college her roommate was Jewish and always wanted to go out with us. The last time she asked I told her there was plenty of room in the ash try.... it was also the last time me and the blind chick went out.... oh well I laughed way to hard at my own joke but it was worth it


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Decades ago I ran into a friend I grew up with that had been out of town for a few years, on friday evening on my way home from work. I and my girlfriend were fighting and I was not in a hurry to get back to the shack we rented so he and I headed to a bar and shut it down. We were sitting at the bar and chatting up 2 hot girls/roomates before the bar was about to close . My friend was high as hell and he had the girls and bartenders laughing at his drunken wit. I was trying to woo the tall chick by acting smooth, he was pouring it on the other when I heard him say ".... My dick ain't reeeaal big but it gets reeeeaal hard" she laughed so hard she fell off the barstool onto the floor and everyone else in earshot laughed too. He was way too drunk to drive and got a ride to their place and spent the night. He dated the girl who fell off the stool for 6 months. I struck out and went home to my girlfriend.
 
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I rather enjoy making indecent proposals to women.

None of them EVER work, but it's kinda like slipping in a draft beer during a lunch break while at work. You know it's not gonna do a damn thing, but the thrill alone makes it worth it.
Only reserved for the snobbiest:
"Do you even date white guys?"
"What do you say we sit around and talk about jackshit nothing? Fine, you first."
"I bet you got the whitest teeth I ever came across."
 
Me: "Wanna ride in my jeep?"
Arbitrary hot chick: "Sure"
Me: "Yeah, me too. I wish it was driveable"
 
I think the only one I ever actually tried was:
Me: "Did it hurt?"
Ex-GF: "Did what hurt?"
Me: "When you fell from heaven"
Ex-GF: <blushing>"Nice to meet you too"

I mostly just relied on situational wit or grabbed em by the pussy.
 
1995
Club Zero in Greensboro
Best friend drags me there after I've been moping around at home for months after a broken engagement.
Best friend is lit and to my left. Leans over to cute chick to HIS left and interrupts her conversation with her friend
"Excuse me......[taps on shoulder]"
[she glares at him for interrupting her then turns back to finish talking to her friend]
"EXCUSE me......[taps on shoulder]"
"WHAT!"
"Do you know how to recycle a rubber?"
"What?!?!?!"
"Do you know how to recycle a RUBBER!"
[for the sake of shutting him the hell up] "No, HOW!"
"You turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it :lol: " [proceeds to fall in the floor after cracking himself up]
[looks at me and asks]"Do you mind switching seats with him?"
"Not at all"
"I'm sorry for that, he's an idiot"
"You're right, don't worry about it...that was kinda funny though"

We ignore each other for a few minutes, then she warms up a little. After 30 min or so of conversation we're out on the dance floor. We went out the following weekend.
 
CasterTroy said:
1995
Club Zero in Greensboro...
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ugh, I remember that place, barely. Spent most of my time a the corner of Walker/Elam getting primed, before zero or giving up and hitting the boobie clubs.
It either Harry's or Wahoo's where this large girl picked me up simply by telling me I had "excellent bone structure". I looked over to my friends, told them c-ya later, and it was on.
 
Funny story pick up line: "I want some cake"

Funny and 100% true story: Back in my wilder days (2005ish) when my divorce went final I decided to celebrate. Me and my buddies went to the local minor league ballpark for a Thirsty Thursday. $1 drafts and that sort of thing. Well, I was about $10 poorer than I was an hour earlier when a striking young lady caught my attention.

Slurred speech me: "Hi, I'm Jody. Do you have a sister?"
Babe: "Yeah"
SSM: "Me too. Do you happen to have a mother?"
Babe: "Yes I do"
SSM: "Ya know, we have a lot in common. Wanna go out after the game?"
Babe: "Sure! You're so funny!"
At that point I was like the dog chasing the car. WTH do you do with it when you catch it?

I also had a move where I'd approach whatever lady was the focus of my desire and simply say "My buddies over there dared me to walk up to the prettiest woman in the _____(bar, club, whatever). They said I wouldn't do it. Will you wave at them for me?"

Worked every time.
 
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True story.
"Hey come here. Quick. Put your arms around me and pretend like we are making out."

Summer of 94. Me immediately after football practice to a new watergirl who was like on her 2nd day of practice. We had been flirting and such for 2 days, but so had every other player on the team, except Brian who was dating the HC step daughter. This girl I had recently broke it off with had turned psycho in only the way a 16 year old girl can. Showing up at my house daily to ask if Id changed my mind. Going to my grandmas work and asking her to talk to me. And the last few days she had taken to staking out football practice and pulling up to chat as soon as we walked off the field.

So here I was pre-shower post practice sweaty and stinky. And I saw her turn in off the main road to the school parking lot. So I grabbed the new water girl and pretended to make out against my truck.

24 years later that water girl is still around. Guess the joke was on me.
 
Ron said:
True story.
"Hey come here. Quick. Put your arms around me and pretend like we are making out."

Summer of 94. Me immediately after football practice to a new watergirl who was like on her 2nd day of practice. We had been flirting and such for 2 days, but so had every other player on the team, except Brian who was dating the HC step daughter. This girl I had recently broke it off with had turned psycho in only the way a 16 year old girl can. Showing up at my house daily to ask if Id changed my mind. Going to my grandmas work and asking her to talk to me. And the last few days she had taken to staking out football practice and pulling up to chat as soon as we walked off the field.

So here I was pre-shower post practice sweaty and stinky. And I saw her turn in off the main road to the school parking lot. So I grabbed the new water girl and pretended to make out against my truck.

24 years later that water girl is still around. Guess the joke was on me.
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gotcha-bitch-gisvas.jpg
 
"Headin to the race track, wanna come?" that one worked a couple times.

Other than that, I just rely on my stunning good looks and irresistible personality. Which is probably why I stayed single so much and took 7 years to see what I was looking for was right in front of me!!!!!
 
JSJJ388 said:
"Headin to the race track, wanna come?" that one worked a couple times.

Other than that, I just rely on my stunning good looks and irresistible personality. Which is probably why I stayed single so much and took 7 years to see what I was looking for was right in front of me!!!!!
Click to expand...
dating your sister is never the answer..... look at them blue people in Kentucky.
 
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