Feeling Old at 32...

Cherokeekid88

Cherokeekid88

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2007
Location
High Point, NC
backtrack to even 5 years ago. Wife and I had just got married, been living in our house for a couple of years. Going out on Friday nights and Saturday nights, Waking up early on the weekends, just to enjoy to day outside and just DO stuff.

Fast forward to now, 32 years old, wife is 31, and we have a 2 year old. Same jobs we've had for 10 years, but for me in the last year or so, I have really felt sluggish, felt like I have no energy after a days worth of work and I have to come home to a 2 year old that wants me to play with her and I do too, just takes everything I have to get on that floor and roll around with her. I think sitting at work more than I am used to doing is taking a toll on me and just making me feel lazy and having that lack of energy.

I know a lot of people are going to say that I need to start exercising, and I agree, but I LOATHE exercising... I get so bored with it after about a week or so and I know its a get up and just do it mentality, but I need to start somewhere to get my energy level back and just feel better and not like an 80 year old man sometimes.
 
In addition to what @trailhugger said, how's your mental health? I was drained every single day & all I could think about was loafing on the couch or going to bed after work. I finally decided I was tired of being tired & made a doctor's appointment. All my blood work came back great but I hit a lot of the check boxes for depression. (Not a huge surprise given my family history). After being on medication for 2 months, I'm back to feeling like myself & have so much more energy.
 
And to add on....early 30s is first typical decline in Testosterone levels for dudes am who aren’t very physically active. Low T in dudes checks all your boxes as well.

I’d spend a couple hundred on some blood work.

plus adulting is just hard
 
Also may want to have a sleep study done. My mom and my 35 yo brother both have sleep apnea, that can cause tiredness too.

I went to Dr about 2 years ago and got put on BP meds and a vit d pill i take once a week. My vit d was nearly non-existent. After being on the vit d pill my energy levels came way up.

How's the sleep schedule too. Early 30s is when I went from being able to stay up til 3am and still work at 8, to hitting the bed by 10 or 11 but waking up at 630 to 7am. Before that switch I had to have 3 or 4 alarm clocks.
 
trailhugger said:
How's your eating? How's your vitamin D? Getting decent sleep?

Instead of 'exercise'" consider playing... with your daughter, for example. If you're having as much fun as @Jody Treadway it won't feel like such a chore.
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My eating is all over the place. I've been a fairly skinny guy my whole life and I have gained about 15 lbs this year from eating, drinking, etc. I'm outside any chance a I get, but its basically running around with the kiddo for a bit, mowing, or just walking the property and looking at all the flowers and just thinking.
I would say I get at least 6-7 hours of good sleep every night and I usually fall asleep pretty quickly.
 
The exercise thing never really knocked my socks off either, after doing it 6hrs/day for 20 years though...I got pretty good at it, but hate it now too. There were two things that got me feeling a lot less old 1) I realized about a year ago that I wasn't having fun any more. I got back to hobbies I enjoyed doing, tried new hobbies I had never done before. And instead of worrying about having the right bank balance, I started spending some of my hard earned money on my and things I enjoy. The mental health benefits alone have been amazing. 2) I wanted my kids to have it better than I did, experiences I wanted to have, I can let them have, and we're out doing it. Or even as simple as they want to go ride their bike, cool...I'm coming too, to build memories.

One thing I've noticed is...that's movement and activity...aka exercise, and I've felt better this year than I have in a long time. Obviously diet plays a role in all this too...when I eat out, I feel like shit. When I eat junk food, I feel like shit. But I said it here previously, this year was going to be 'the year of me'...and I'm in a much better place physically and mentally than I was.
 
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jeepin' jen said:
In addition to what @trailhugger said, how's your mental health? I was drained every single day & all I could think about was loafing on the couch or going to bed after work. I finally decided I was tired of being tired & made a doctor's appointment. All my blood work came back great but I hit a lot of the check boxes for depression. (Not a huge surprise given my family history). After being on medication for 2 months, I'm back to feeling like myself & have so much more energy.
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My mental health? Its a bit all over the place as well. The monotony of the same routine everyday, really gets to me after a couple of weeks. I love our house, but after a couple of hours of being in it, I want to get out and be outside but just no motivation to actually DO something. I honestly wake up in a great mood and thank God for everything I have and think about those that are less fortunate that I and really try not to take anything I have for granted, but somewhere along the day (I'm guessing dealing with morons at work) I get emotionally drained and when I get home, I just want to sit on the couch and have a cold beer and just relax for 20 min. My wife was recently taken off of her Welbutrin medication and put on something different and said after taking it for a little over a week, she can tell that she feels happier and less like she wants to kill someone.
 
Tim C said:
Also may want to have a sleep study done. My mom and my 35 yo brother both have sleep apnea, that can cause tiredness too.

I went to Dr about 2 years ago and got put on BP meds and a vit d pill i take once a week. My vit d was nearly non-existent. After being on the vit d pill my energy levels came way up.

How's the sleep schedule too. Early 30s is when I went from being able to stay up til 3am and still work at 8, to hitting the bed by 10 or 11 but waking up at 630 to 7am. Before that switch I had to have 3 or 4 alarm clocks.
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Sleep Schedule is about as Ideal as it can be. Wife and I are in the bed usually around 9-10 every night and wake up at 6:30.
 
Ron said:
And to add on....early 30s is first typical decline in Testosterone levels for dudes am who aren’t very physically active. Low T in dudes checks all your boxes as well.

I’d spend a couple hundred on some blood work.

plus adulting is just hard
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Does a decline in Testosterone mean you want the P more? For me, I think I am more of a horn dog now that I was in my 20's
 
don't get me wrong, Ill be sitting on the couch and just a shaking my legs and stuff where I am tired of sitting and doing nothing and Ill get up and go do something just to be doing something, but its the motivation and work ethic for things outside of work that I am lacking that I used to have. I just don't want to be one of those Dads that constantly tells their kid that they can't play because their too tired.
 
Do you have hobbies, friends you see weekly/bi weekly? Some time for YOU? I think that’s important, and my wife understands that too. I usually take one evening each week and that’s my time. It is usually spent helping someone else work on their junk (I’m a labor whore) but most importantly it’s a bit of guy time where I forget about life and work for a few hours.

Also, you should probably go camping with the family. Camping solves everything.
 
Do you have a bicycle? If so, buy one of these stick your kid in it and go for a ride at the park. Stop at the playground, and let her run around while you and the wife take a break and chat. We did that a TON with our son. Then when he out grew the seat, we bought a tag-along and kept on. Riding a bike is good exercise, and fun.

81oeQVeO2DL._AC_SL1500_.jpg
 
They say 2 things motivate men, biologically speaking: sex and death. Exercising regularly will prolong one and put off the other. For real.
Also, sitting so much at work is so very detrimental to your overall health. Sitting is the new obese in terms of long term negative health risks. Get up and move every chance you get. My job requires sitting throughout the day. To combat it, I always get up and walk hwnever I'm on the phone. I also take lunch walks each day for about 20 minutes.
Your diet has a huge role in how you feel too. Excessive carbs and blood sugar spikes will drain you of energy.
One thing that has helped me over the years is to eat like a king at breakfast, a prince at lunch and a pauper at supper. Cut the processed crab, eat real food (singe ingredient) and move.
 
77GreenMachine said:
Do you have hobbies, friends you see weekly/bi weekly? Some time for YOU? I think that’s important, and my wife understands that too. I usually take one evening each week and that’s my time. It is usually spent helping someone else work on their junk (I’m a labor whore) but most importantly it’s a bit of guy time where I forget about life and work for a few hours.

Also, you should probably go camping with the family. Camping solves everything.
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I think this is a lot of my issue. I don't think I take enough time for me. What I normally do is on Saturday morning, I will wake up around 5. Go downstairs, fix some coffee, and sit at the dining room table and just think...about anything and everything. Just sort of a way for me to have some quiet time and just sort of recharge before all hell breaks loose around 7.

Thinking of possibly running up and down the street during this time, just to get the blood flowing while still getting my "Me" time.

We have been seeing a group of friends usually every other week, which is nice because it also gives me another man to talk to about man chit
 
UTfball68 said:
I realized I wasn't having fun any more. I got back to hobbies I enjoyed doing, tried new hobbies I had never done before.
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This.

I don't really think you're going through anything abnormal. You're in a tough spot in life. A wife, a kid, FT jobs, bills...
Ron said:
adulting is just hard
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We all go through ups and downs. You get in that daily routine/grind and that shit can get monotonous quick! Once we get the kids down at night, my wife usually likes going to lay in bed and watch some TV before going to sleep. I love to spend time w/ just my wife but that shit gets OLD AF!! Since moving back from CLT, I've met some like-minded dudes and it's done wonders for me just being able to go have "locker room talk" w/ the bois at the shop some nights, drinking some beers and smoking some cigs (and hoping the wife don't smell it on me when I get home :cool:)

Cherokeekid88 said:
Does a decline in Testosterone mean you want the P more? For me, I think I am more of a horn dog now that I was in my 20's
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Quite the opposite. Low-T will decrease sex-drive (i.e., "wanting the P more"). You want it more because, well if you're in the majority, you probably ain't getting it nearly as much as in your 20s either. See above about wife, kid, job, etc. Responsibility (and the resulting stress thereof) can kill sex-drive for some ppl
 
rcalexander105 said:
This.

I don't really think you're going through anything abnormal. You're in a tough spot in life. A wife, a kid, FT jobs, bills...


We all go through ups and downs. You get in that daily routine/grind and that shit can get monotonous quick! Once we get the kids down at night, my wife usually likes going to lay in bed and watch some TV before going to sleep. I love to spend time w/ just my wife but that shit gets OLD AF!! Since moving back from CLT, I've met some like-minded dudes and it's done wonders for me just being able to go have "locker room talk" w/ the bois at the shop some nights, drinking some beers and smoking some cigs (and hoping the wife don't smell it on me when I get home :cool:)


Quite the opposite. Low-T will decrease sex-drive (i.e., "wanting the P more"). You want it more because, well if you're in the majority, you probably ain't getting it nearly as much as in your 20s either. See above about wife, kid, job, etc. Responsibility (and the resulting stress thereof) can kill sex-drive for some ppl
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I do think some out of the box excitement is what I need. Even if it makes me more tired that I already am, I can work up to it and hopefully get some of my stamina back. But I also think I need to talk to a doctor about being put on something. As much as I hate the thought of taking meds for something like this (Always been a super chipper sort of fellow and always thought people who took meds for stuff like this meant you were too weak to fix it on your own) but I realize being older myself, I think we all need a little help sometime. My issue emotionally is I have no patience, my anxiety gets the best of me sometimes and causes thoughts to fester and in turn affects my happiness.
 
rcalexander105 said:
This.

I don't really think you're going through anything abnormal. You're in a tough spot in life. A wife, a kid, FT jobs, bills...


We all go through ups and downs. You get in that daily routine/grind and that shit can get monotonous quick! Once we get the kids down at night, my wife usually likes going to lay in bed and watch some TV before going to sleep. I love to spend time w/ just my wife but that shit gets OLD AF!! Since moving back from CLT, I've met some like-minded dudes and it's done wonders for me just being able to go have "locker room talk" w/ the bois at the shop some nights, drinking some beers and smoking some cigs (and hoping the wife don't smell it on me when I get home :cool:)


Quite the opposite. Low-T will decrease sex-drive (i.e., "wanting the P more"). You want it more because, well if you're in the majority, you probably ain't getting it nearly as much as in your 20s either. See above about wife, kid, job, etc. Responsibility (and the resulting stress thereof) can kill sex-drive for some ppl
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Thought of this after reading your post, LOL! Your post is spot on!

 
Something else that just popped in my mind is, when my wife was furloughed from her job back in March and was out of work for 10 weeks, things were pretty good. She was getting a taste of being a stay at home mom... they could do things during the day that wouldn't need to be done when I get home, which honestly made my life a little easier. When she went back to work, she was stressed TF out with all these knew CDC guidelines for dentistry, So she would come home and vent and cry and I had to stay strong for her and basically bottle up everything I was feeling and going through and now that she is getting to a better place with work and feeling more optimistic, now I feel like its my turn to let everything out to her.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
My issue emotionally is I have no patience, my anxiety gets the best of me sometimes and causes thoughts to fester and in turn affects my happiness.
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Thoughts sound very familiar. Don't do anything stupid.
 
Exercise. I know it isn’t for some people but I found that I had way more energy through the day when I was in my routine. I was always active but never got into a disciplined exercise regime until about 5 years ago. I dropped almost 60 lbs and felt great. Lots of energy, mental health never better, etc. Had plenty of energy for the family and required/needed less sleep. I fell out of my routine the last couple years and I can surely tell a difference in everything (not in a positive way).
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
Nothing like that. Just my stress and worry about people in my family, things like that. I have too much to live for to even think about anything like that.
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Have you tried drinking with a group of buddies while they relentlessly make fun of you and tell you nut up??? Usually works for me.
 
UTfball68 said:
Have you tried drinking with a group of buddies while they relentlessly make fun of you and tell you nut up??? Usually works for me.
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I tried that a lot and it worked till I was about 35. Then I started drinking a lot more when I was alone, and that wasnt healthy at all. So, now I get made fun of a lot by my friends when I haul their drunk asses home from somewhere.
 
Start a journal. Keep a log of how you feel, what you eat and drink, your activity level, etc. This is part of what helped me to trace, diagnose, and confirm my problem. (Re: the PSA thread in the garage).

May or may not be a physical, environmental, or dietary cause or trigger for what is going on. A journal/logbook can help trace and identify a problem.

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