Feeling Old at 32...

Tim C said:
Also may want to have a sleep study done. My mom and my 35 yo brother both have sleep apnea, that can cause tiredness too.
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Exactly what I was going to ask.

Wife was on my butt about getting one done for years. Finally did it early this year. Had terrible apnea. Got a CPAP.
All I need is 5hrs or so per night, and I am not remotely tired the whole next day. Might be physically tired, but never
sleepy all the time like I used to be.
It's a game changer.
 
Lizooki said:
Nothing wrong with you.
The medical answers .... meh, not a bad idea just to be safe.
I would bet you get home within minutes of the same time every day.
Park in the exact same spot.
Walk in the door, and do the exact same thing every time.
You go to bed within minutes of the same time every night get up the same time every morning.
Same, same, same,Same, same, same,Same, same, same,Same, same, same.

It's called being in a rut. Monotony.
It great for a while ... nice, comfy, safe, secure.
BUT BORING AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just break the routine in a safe sane manner and see if that helps.
One of the ways the wife and I done it together was a new hobby called geocaching.(new to us years ago)
Safe and simple, we saw places in a area we never knew existed.
That's one reason I started wheeling my Samurai.
That's why the old dudes a few posts above bought dirt bikes.
It doesn't have to be that extreme.
Just not routine.
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Damn, you hit the nail on the head with that first part.... facts, facts, facts.
 
So this weekend, I did some thinking.

I think most of my issue to me feels mental and not physical even though I know both of those can go hand in hand. The last 2 years, the wife and I have been on such a strict schedule with our daughter, that I think its also put us on a schedule as well. Usually, I try to rush home from work so that I can have 15-20 minutes BY MYSELF to just sit in the silence and have a beer or even just go outside on the back deck and just breathe. Wife gets home, we fix dinner, play with the little one and then its usually bath time and then read and then bed and then we get about 2 hours to ourselves, but mostly spend that time sitting and watching the tube, and usually once or twice a week, I mention that I want us to do something different but it never happens.

Friday night, we went out with some friends. We all have kids, so the kiddos got to run around and play with each other and we ended up getting home around 9:30 and I was tired... but I had a reason to, I had been running around since that morning, and I slept great. Slept till about 8 and felt good that next morning. Usually when I go to bed and wake up, I feel that I have only been sleeping for a couple of hours and just feel tired and it takes me a good amount of time to get going.

Another thing that I like to do on the weekends is wake up earlier than everyone else and go downstairs, fix some coffee, and just sit. Sometimes, ill sit outside and listen to nature, sometimes i'll clean a gun or two, disassemble a knife, whatever, but this is my time.

My job is not physically demanding (most days) but is mentally draining, so when I get home I usually have a lot of physical energy but my mind is telling me to relax.
 
Real question, would your wife give you a hard time if you said “hey next week I think one day after work, I’d like to go hang with (insert friend or activity you’d like to do for YOU) for a bit. Just clear my head and have some guy time”

Would that go ok, or would she give you a hard time? Or would you feel guilty for this?
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
My job is not physically demanding (most days) but is mentally draining, so when I get home I usually have a lot of physical energy but my mind is telling me to relax.
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It really sounds lie a solo exercise like running or bicycling would do you wonders.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
Another thing that I like to do on the weekends is wake up earlier than everyone else and go downstairs, fix some coffee, and just sit. Sometimes, ill sit outside and listen to nature, sometimes i'll clean a gun or two, disassemble a knife, whatever, but this is my time.
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Like I said previously, 'me time' is super important...and has been huge getting me back to a good mental state this year. When I do it at work, the office calls it my 'woosah time'...at home, I tell my wife and kids 'nice stops at 10'...after 10, I just want to be a vegetable because I'm so mentally drained. I've always said a tough mental day is significantly worse than a tough physical day. Getting back to things I enjoyed doing got me excited and gave me something to look forward to (like your waking up earlier than everyone else). And about once a month the wife and kids will go on a 3-4 day vacation somewhere. Maybe that's not the recipe for you, but I can't stress enough, how much good it's done for me.
 
77GreenMachine said:
Real question, would your wife give you a hard time if you said “hey next week I think one day after work, I’d like to go hang with (insert friend or activity you’d like to do for YOU) for a bit. Just clear my head and have some guy time”

Would that go ok, or would she give you a hard time? Or would you feel guilty for this?
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She would totally be good with this, she insists that I do things like this, but its me that feels guilty for not spending time with my daughter, but I know I NEED time apart to recharge. The way our group of friends work, is my dude friends are married to my wife's friends, so we all just end up hanging out together which is fine, but I do feel like a boys night out is much needed.
 
I turned 33 today, and i understand the rut you’re feeling. I don’t have the family responsibility that you have, yet, but I know that I sleep poorly if I don’t wear myself out that day. It used to be 1.5 hours at the gym/ 5 days a week but now my job is more physically demanding, so I usually come home tired. I used to work a desk job and my routine was the same everyday, even on the weekend. If I didn’t drink, work out, or wear myself out working on a project, I had a problem getting to sleep and staying asleep. I haven’t read everyone’s responses in this thread, but I would suggest getting a mountain bike. If you can find somewhere close to home to ride, you can put in a few miles in a short amount of time and really feel good when you’re done. It’s something I haven’t done in a while, but pushing yourself on a bike can really let your mind unwind and burn up any energy that would leave me restless.
 
Yeah, I've got to find something. A bike sounds like a good idea, I could even ride around in our neighborhood and there are tons of walkways and trails around us. I think I just need to feel physically tired instead of mentally tired all the time, because I do find that days where we have a lot going on, I usually come home and feel relaxed and satisfied in a way that I don't feel on a normal work day.
 
CasterTroy said:
o_O
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Did you catch PTSD when you read that too??? You wanna know a sure fire way I'm not going to like someone...my wife saying 'oh, you're gonna love (fill in the blank name)'s husband...he's in to vehicles/guns/bourbon/etc too'...they almost never are. I shit you not, 3 weeks ago...one of my wife's, friend's husband was in to painting miniature figurines, and the 'gun' he was interest in was a 58 cal smooth bore flintlock he uses for revolutionary war re-enactments.
 
UTfball68 said:
Did you catch PTSD when you read that too??? You wanna know a sure fire way I'm not going to like someone...my wife saying 'oh, you're gonna love (fill in the blank name)'s husband...he's in to vehicles/guns/bourbon/etc too'...they almost never are. I shit you not, 3 weeks ago...one of my wife's, friend's husband was in to painting miniature figurines, and the 'gun' he was interest in was a 58 cal smooth bore flintlock he uses for revolutionary war re-enactments.
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lol I know it sounds weird but it just happened like that. My two literal best friends are married to my wife's two best friends..
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
My two literal best friends are married to my wife's two best friends..
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Did you know these cats BEFORE you got married?

(NEVER plan for a divorce..however) Who gets to keep the friends if yall ever split up?

YMMV but it's been my experience that it's ALWAYS good to have a circle of bud's that have nothing to do with your wife (for reasons)
 
One of them yes, the other no.

I do have another small group that I have known since middle school, but we rarely hang out due to us all living in different states.

Yeah, I mean, I've thought about that, but just the way the cards were dealt.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
lol I know it sounds weird but it just happened like that. My two literal best friends are married to my wife's two best friends..
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Sounds to me like your wife is controlling your interactions and you have coalesced completely.
 
jeepinmatt said:
Sounds to me like your wife is controlling your interactions and you have coalesced completely.
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nah not even.
Wife works with a girl and they become close, I happen to really like the dude she is in a relationship with...

Other guy I met through this new friend, me and him hit it off and started hanging out, then he gets in a relationship with ol girls' sister and then she and my wife hit it off...
 
jeepinmatt said:
Sounds to me like your wife is controlling your interactions and you have coalesced completely.
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This is where I was going.

Many times a successful marriage is composed of 2 different people that come together and function as one, however, you never want to forget that you are in fact 2 different people. If WORK is the only thing that does separate you, then I can see where things can get monotonous. You may not make the connection, but as mattt pointed out, it can sometimes be suffocating. This is where one, sometimes both parties start to feel trapped and look for escapes.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
nah not even.
Wife works with a girl and they become close, I happen to really like the dude she is in a relationship with...

Other guy I met through this new friend, me and him hit it off and started hanging out, then he gets in a relationship with ol girls' sister and then she and my wife hit it off...
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That just all sounds so wrong....
 
So is you is, or you ain’t gonna come to the get together for us all less than 2 weeks from now?

Sounds like the perfect get away for you. Come meet some of us, make some friends outside your marriage.
 
When's the last time you hung your dick off the front porch and pissed in your yard all while drinking a beer? At one time in my life I wanted to write down my thoughts on life and my attitudes towards things. Of course, the people who know me know that won't happen but it's a nice idea. I wanted to do it because I wanted to be able to share with my kids my thoughts / feelings at their age when they asked. Plus, I thought it would be humorous to look back and see how my perspective has changed. Point is, at this point in my life (41) I've realized I've got to do what makes me happy.

Me: Hey babe, you got anything going on at the end of September?
Her: I don't know.
Me: Good, I'm going wheeling with the boys down in URE.
Her: Ok...

Me: I saw a sweet idea for the minibike. Some dude built one for his cooler. I'm doing that.
Her: Why?
Me: Because I want to and it'll be awesome.
Her: OK.....

Me: I'm going to go cut down 5 trees.
Her: Why!?
Me: Because fuck'em, that's why.
Her OK....

I'm like Peter Griffin but possibly with more brain power. I figured I'm in control of my happiness. I'm a middle aged man with literally zero friends in a hundred mile radius. I don't get to hang out often. Most people at work already have their cliques set. Looking back, maybe my request of "Boats and Hoes" at a training function wasn't the best ice breaker. I can be depressed or I can start living and enjoy my time. I suggest you do the same. Wallow in it or sack up. Nothing will happen unless you make it happen. That's my advice.

Oh, I also forgot to mention LEDs. Buy some of those. I've been told they help with stress or something ;)
 
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McCracken said:
Me: Hey babe, you got anything going on at the end of September?
Her: I don't know.
Me: Good, I'm going wheeling with the boys down in URE.
Her: Ok...

Me: I saw a sweet idea for the minibike. Some dude built one for his cooler. I'm doing that.
Her: Why?
Me: Because I want to and it'll be awesome.
Her: OK.....

Me: I'm going to go cut down 5 trees.
Her: Why!?
Me: Because fuck'em, that's why.
Her OK....
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"OK" doesn't mean what you think it means.

Translated into Wimmenspeak, it means "whatever".



Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
 
kaiser715 said:
"OK" doesn't mean what you think it means.

Translated into Wimmenspeak, it means "whatever".



Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
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Still don't care. I'm doing what I want. She's caught on too and now she says stuff like, "I'm doing blah, blah, blah" and I say, "Ok". It makes her happy and me too. We're doing what we want.
 
McCracken said:
When's the last time you hung your dick off the front porch and pissed in your yard all while drinking a beer? At one time in my life I wanted to write down my thoughts on life and my attitudes towards things. Of course, the people who know me know that won't happen but it's a nice idea. I wanted to do it because I wanted to be able to share with my kids my thoughts / feelings at their age when they asked. Pus, I thought it would be humorous to look back and see how my perspective has changed. Point is, at this point in my life (41) I've realized I've got to do what makes me happy.

Me: Hey babe, you got anything going on at the end of September?
Her: I don't know.
Me: Good, I'm going wheeling with the boys down in URE.
Her: Ok...

Me: I saw a sweet idea for the minibike. Some dude built one for his cooler. I'm doing that.
Her: Why?
Me: Because I want to and it'll be awesome.
Her: OK.....

Me: I'm going to go cut down 5 trees.
Her: Why!?
Me: Because fuck'em, that's why.
Her OK....

I'm like Peter Griffin but possibly with more brain power. I figured I'm in control of my happiness. I'm a middle aged man with literally zero friends in a hundred mile radius. I don't get to hang out often. Most people at work already have their cliques set. Looking back, maybe my request of "Boats and Hoes" at a training function wasn't the best ice breaker. I can be depressed or I can start living and enjoy my time. I suggest you do the same. Wallow in it or sack up. Nothing will happen unless you make it happen. That's my advice.

Oh, I also forgot to mention LEDs. Buy some of those. I've been told they help with stress or something ;)
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Ok... This right here makes me want to meet you/hang out in person! :rockon:
 
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