Feeling Old at 32...

CasterTroy said:
I can compose a formal kitchen pass to present to your wife if you need it. Your wife's friends husband can chaperone your visit :D
Click to expand...

Can you create one to excuse me from my Daughter's Birthday?
In all seriousness, hate Im going to miss it. But I cant tell ym baby Im going to hang with the boys and miss your bday party...
 
Ron said:
Can you create one to excuse me from my Daughter's Birthday?
In all seriousness, hate Im going to miss it. But I cant tell ym baby Im going to hang with the boys and miss your bday party...
Click to expand...

Happy Birthday from the Clemonses!
 
Ron said:
Can you create one to excuse me from my Daughter's Birthday?
In all seriousness, hate Im going to miss it. But I cant tell ym baby Im going to hang with the boys and miss your bday party...
Click to expand...

If it means I get to have a beer with you I'll have the cake people add 'Happy Birthday' to my anniversary cake.
 
So this thread is long and I am sure some great advice (i got bored reading it so I stopped :D)

here is my advice: do you or you wont have to worry about your wife and kid as they will be gone. Now let me explain what I mean. As a man/husband/father we are expected to take care of the ones we love, it is the society we live in. Now historically speaking, if a man complains about his situation it shows weakness; case in point “suck it up buttercup”. What has happened more recently is exactly what you did, bring it out in the open and discuss it. This is helpful to us all because we have all been there! You know how we all got out of it... we did what made us happy whether or not it made our loved ones happy (this is the “do you” part I mentioned). If you dont do you, you will be a miserable a-hole and will drive away your loved ones (this is the “they will be gone” part I mentioned.

TL;DR: find what makes you happy and do it, if you dont know what that is, try new things
 
Ron said:
Can you create one to excuse me from my Daughter's Birthday?
In all seriousness, hate Im going to miss it. But I cant tell ym baby Im going to hang with the boys and miss your bday party...
Click to expand...

You didn’t sell it. Should have said “how bout I take you camping and they’ll be lots of kids to play with!”

In all seriousness, hate you can’t make it and that I planned it on her birthday.
 
BigClay said:
TL;DR: find what makes you happy and do it, if you dont know what that is, try new things
Click to expand...
But that can also cause more problems.
What if the things I like to do are Anne, Mary and Sue?
 
The sum of most of the advice here is he needs to take some time for himself regularly. But he seems to avoid acknowledging that advice and assures that he likes hanging out with his wife’s friends :shaking:

No one is advocating ditching your family responsibilities all the time. But an evening here and there is perfectly fine and acceptable and will make a huge impact on your mental health.
 
77GreenMachine said:
The sum of most of the advice here is he needs to take some time for himself regularly. But he seems to avoid acknowledging that advice and assures that he likes hanging out with his wife’s friends :shaking:

No one is advocating ditching your family responsibilities all the time. But an evening here and there is perfectly fine and acceptable and will make a huge impact on your mental health.
Click to expand...
I totally get and understand what everyone in saying, but I think we are getting a little off track from the premise.

All I am getting at is that when my daughter was born a little over two years ago, at first, it was exciting, not a lot of sleep, not knowing what was coming next. As time went on, we created a routine for our daughter to help organize the chaos a bit, we stuck to that routine/schedule so well, that now I think its coming back to bite us in the ass. In the last 6-8 months, I have noticed that my life was starting to feel like 'Groundhog Day" in that I felt I knew exactly what was going to happen and when it was going to happen. At first, it wasn't so bad, it was nice to be comfortable, but now I think its started to wear me down and I need to change things up honestly from day to day and give my body a chance to be tired and need rest and not just my mind. Some days its hard, you get home from a busy day at work, you gotta get Dinner going, kid is screaming or wanting you to hold them, do this or that with them, and before you know it, its time for bed, but you haven't had anytime to yourself or had in your mind that you wanted to do this or that and its either too late or you say "F it, I'll try again tomorrow"
There are times where I say to myself " Im gonna do this after work or this weekend, we are all gonna go do this" and the motivation just isn't there. Also my wife has been in a flareup with her UC for the past 2-3 months and is finally on the up and up, so that's been going on as well, so it gets frustrating at times. Here I am, wanting to do this and that, wife isn't well enough to go and do it, don't want to leave her alone with the kiddo for a long time incase she needs me for anything, so I feel I have developed sort of this mentality while being in this "Rut" that I am just finding hard to shake. I have made the point in the last week, that our TV not get turned on nowhere near what is was at especially after our daughter has gone to bed. I'd rather talk and have real conversations instead both us on our phones with the TV on in the background. Also am going to start implementing date night AT LEAST 2-3 a month. I think in the past year, we have just really dedicated ourselves to our daughter and honestly forgotten about us. We have had some really fun times with friends and family, but I think real time with the wife and I and time apart doing our own thing will really help out as well. I really appreciate every ones input, some more than others : )

Now just to find something that I will enjoy and gets me outside and is also good for my physical and mental health.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
I totally get and understand what everyone in saying, but I think we are getting a little off track from the premise.

All I am getting at is that when my daughter was born a little over two years ago, at first, it was exciting, not a lot of sleep, not knowing what was coming next. As time went on, we created a routine for our daughter to help organize the chaos a bit, we stuck to that routine/schedule so well, that now I think its coming back to bite us in the ass. In the last 6-8 months, I have noticed that my life was starting to feel like 'Groundhog Day" in that I felt I knew exactly what was going to happen and when it was going to happen. At first, it wasn't so bad, it was nice to be comfortable, but now I think its started to wear me down and I need to change things up honestly from day to day and give my body a chance to be tired and need rest and not just my mind. Some days its hard, you get home from a busy day at work, you gotta get Dinner going, kid is screaming or wanting you to hold them, do this or that with them, and before you know it, its time for bed, but you haven't had anytime to yourself or had in your mind that you wanted to do this or that and its either too late or you say "F it, I'll try again tomorrow"
There are times where I say to myself " Im gonna do this after work or this weekend, we are all gonna go do this" and the motivation just isn't there. Also my wife has been in a flareup with her UC for the past 2-3 months and is finally on the up and up, so that's been going on as well, so it gets frustrating at times. Here I am, wanting to do this and that, wife isn't well enough to go and do it, don't want to leave her alone with the kiddo for a long time incase she needs me for anything, so I feel I have developed sort of this mentality while being in this "Rut" that I am just finding hard to shake. I have made the point in the last week, that our TV not get turned on nowhere near what is was at especially after our daughter has gone to bed. I'd rather talk and have real conversations instead both us on our phones with the TV on in the background. Also am going to start implementing date night AT LEAST 2-3 a month. I think in the past year, we have just really dedicated ourselves to our daughter and honestly forgotten about us. We have had some really fun times with friends and family, but I think real time with the wife and I and time apart doing our own thing will really help out as well. I really appreciate every ones input, some more than others : )

Now just to find something that I will enjoy and gets me outside and is also good for my physical and mental health.
Click to expand...

1) The routine is intended for the kid, not necessarily the adult
2) With the kids, it was important to me to incorporate the children in to MY life and not the other way around. If I want to do something, I have no problems bringing my kid or letting my kid help. I expect them to act and behave appropriately, as they are an extension and representation of me, if they don't, they're getting their ass beat. My kid shouldn't hold me back, I should expect more out of my kid, and hold them to that standard. For me, doing this kills multiple birds with one stone, keeps the kids occupied, teaches the kids new things and it's stuff I want to do.
3) The wife thing...can't really tell you how to handle that, but I'd have that conversation with her. I'd doubt she would want you being anxious and depressed and not living life because of her.
 
Cherokeekid88 said:
I totally get and understand what everyone in saying, but I think we are getting a little off track from the premise.

All I am getting at is that when my daughter was born a little over two years ago, at first, it was exciting, not a lot of sleep, not knowing what was coming next. As time went on, we created a routine for our daughter to help organize the chaos a bit, we stuck to that routine/schedule so well, that now I think its coming back to bite us in the ass. In the last 6-8 months, I have noticed that my life was starting to feel like 'Groundhog Day" in that I felt I knew exactly what was going to happen and when it was going to happen. At first, it wasn't so bad, it was nice to be comfortable, but now I think its started to wear me down and I need to change things up honestly from day to day and give my body a chance to be tired and need rest and not just my mind. Some days its hard, you get home from a busy day at work, you gotta get Dinner going, kid is screaming or wanting you to hold them, do this or that with them, and before you know it, its time for bed, but you haven't had anytime to yourself or had in your mind that you wanted to do this or that and its either too late or you say "F it, I'll try again tomorrow"
There are times where I say to myself " Im gonna do this after work or this weekend, we are all gonna go do this" and the motivation just isn't there. Also my wife has been in a flareup with her UC for the past 2-3 months and is finally on the up and up, so that's been going on as well, so it gets frustrating at times. Here I am, wanting to do this and that, wife isn't well enough to go and do it, don't want to leave her alone with the kiddo for a long time incase she needs me for anything, so I feel I have developed sort of this mentality while being in this "Rut" that I am just finding hard to shake. I have made the point in the last week, that our TV not get turned on nowhere near what is was at especially after our daughter has gone to bed. I'd rather talk and have real conversations instead both us on our phones with the TV on in the background. Also am going to start implementing date night AT LEAST 2-3 a month. I think in the past year, we have just really dedicated ourselves to our daughter and honestly forgotten about us. We have had some really fun times with friends and family, but I think real time with the wife and I and time apart doing our own thing will really help out as well. I really appreciate every ones input, some more than others : )

Now just to find something that I will enjoy and gets me outside and is also good for my physical and mental health.
Click to expand...


Life feeling like groundhog day is normal.
 
Drunktaco said:
You should try drugs or alcohol. That’ll be a fun event for the whole family. You’ll be euphoric, the kids will think it’s awesome dads outback talking to a tree and playing right with them imaginative wise, and your wife, well, it’ll be eventful. Guaranteed fireworks.
Click to expand...

I really did laugh at this one. I would add to teach the kids how to get said alcohol (out of the fridge, cabinet, or whatever) and bring it to you. Win win! :lol:
 
BigClay said:
I really did laugh at this one. I would add to teach the kids how to get said alcohol (out of the fridge, cabinet, or whatever) and bring it to you. Win win! :lol:
Click to expand...
The kiddo does know about mommy and daddy drinking beer and we have asked her to go and get us one in the past and sure enough, she will bring us one and enjoys doing it lol


This does sound like a fun time, I will be going to the beach that weekend with the family and rents, come to think of it, if I go, might get me out of being down there with everyone for a couple of days...
@CasterTroy
 
Man, you’re just getting out of “baby jail” as we called it and learning to live this new life. I agree that y’all should make time for each other and each other’s “me time”. So let’s go ride some trails and sit around a fire.
 
"Baby jail" sucks, got stuck in it for a while, now the wife DOESN'T KNOW how many jetskis, guns, jeeps, etc... I have. She suspects I have told the truth (I have, she doesn't listen, I didn't correct her on her understanding). Time for each other is important (without the kid, without that the relationship falls apart), kids require constant attention (from what I understand about 34 when they start to figure out their own lives, or in the case of my Dad at 67 when I need to start structuring his life). It's life, this year has really sucked!

One of my good friends and mentor said over a cold beer "Don't forget the fun factor" he lives his life by it.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't make it out alive.
 
Bumping this up. @Cherokeekid88 how are you these days? You missed one heck of a get together with most of the folks on here that’s for sure!
Did you break the routine, make time for a hobby and hang out with friends, or still doing pretty much the same old thing?
 
77GreenMachine said:
Bumping this up. @Cherokeekid88 how are you these days? You missed one heck of a get together with most of the folks on here that’s for sure!
Did you break the routine, make time for a hobby and hang out with friends, or still doing pretty much the same old thing?
Click to expand...
Hey man,

You know, our little girl keeps us busy, we've been doing something just about every weekend and trying to make memories, so we are getting out more for sure. Got some trips planned coming up and just little things here and there. Also working on my mental and physical health. Just been really sluggish for a while now and realized that I honestly go to work, come home and didn't do much of anything. So Now that the weather is nice and we all can be outside more, we are trying to just be outside as much as we can. Wife and I have been having alot of fun gardening and planning out our yard, so that usually entails a weekly trip to the farmers market or Lowe's to check out the plants. So everything is falling into place. I have also been talking to God more, not just praying but talking to him throughout the day and I've noticed that has helped me a lot with my feels.
 
Back
Top