I hate engineers

UncleWillie

UncleWillie

Rarely serious.
Joined
Dec 29, 2010
Location
Vale
To whomever engineered the engine in a Honda Passport. I hate you with the searing hot heat of a million suns going supernova in a cup of McDonald's coffee. Who in their right mind puts the thermostat UNDER the intake manifold.
I can hear the engineering meeting now.

Idiot #1: You know what, this thing is entirely too easy to work on.

Idiot #2: You're right. We should put the thermostat under the intake.

I1: Yes, and let's put it under a steel cooling line that makes it almost impossible to remove one of the bolts, and then very hard to remove the water inlet housing.

Supervisory Idiot: You guys are thinking small. See this tiny emissions solenoid, well, let's put it on a huge metal bracket.

I2: How will that make things harder?

SI: You don't follow me. We are going to put it to where you cannot remove the upper intake with it in place, then put a bolt behind it almost touching the firewall where you have to be Houdini to get to it.

I1: Ohhh, and let's use allen head bolts so that there is no possible way to get an allen wrench back there without taking a grinder to it unless you buy a $300 tool.

SI. I like where your head is at, but let's route hardlines over it, firmly attached to the firewall, so that you cannot turn the wrench.

I2: And let's put all kinds of stuff below it so when you drop your ground down allen wrench it doesn't fall through to the ground, and the mechanic has to grind down multiples to get it off.

I1. Oh, and lets torque it to 987654356789 pounds so it is impossible to turn.

SI: Yep, boys, we got a winner.
 
Reminds me of an alternator change about 15 years ago on a 1996 Monte Carlo Z34 with 3.4 dohc. Book called for a little over 8 hours. Had to lower the front subframe with engine and transaxle about 10 or 12 inches just to put your hands on the alternator. It was so secluded in the engine bay it had a plastic air duct to bring cooling air into the alternator.
 
UncleWillie said:
To whomever engineered the engine in a Honda Passport. I hate you with the searing hot heat of a million suns going supernova in a cup of McDonald's coffee. Who in their right mind puts the thermostat UNDER the intake manifold.
I can hear the engineering meeting now.

Idiot #1: You know what, this thing is entirely too easy to work on.

Idiot #2: You're right. We should put the thermostat under the intake.

I1: Yes, and let's put it under a steel cooling line that makes it almost impossible to remove one of the bolts, and then very hard to remove the water inlet housing.

Supervisory Idiot: You guys are thinking small. See this tiny emissions solenoid, well, let's put it on a huge metal bracket.

I2: How will that make things harder?

SI: You don't follow me. We are going to put it to where you cannot remove the upper intake with it in place, then put a bolt behind it almost touching the firewall where you have to be Houdini to get to it.

I1: Ohhh, and let's use allen head bolts so that there is no possible way to get an allen wrench back there without taking a grinder to it unless you buy a $300 tool.

SI. I like where your head is at, but let's route hardlines over it, firmly attached to the firewall, so that you cannot turn the wrench.

I2: And let's put all kinds of stuff below it so when you drop your ground down allen wrench it doesn't fall through to the ground, and the mechanic has to grind down multiples to get it off.

I1. Oh, and lets torque it to 987654356789 pounds so it is impossible to turn.

SI: Yep, boys, we got a winner.
Click to expand...


You should work on asphalt pavers in the tier4 variety.
 
Daughter had a Dodge Neon. designed by Satan's mother in law.
Timing belt idle pulley bearing locked up.
$14.00 part. 6 hour book, he managed in 4. Hate to see the book rate on the job. A friend who is a tech replaced it.
Had to remove engine mounts and raise the engine high enough for the bolt to clear the fender.
 
yesterday's "i hate engineers"...80's dodge pickup, need transmission fill tube. local pick-n-pull, so not a garage full of tools at my disposal, just the harbor freight tool bag of disposables. fill tube mounting bracket bolted to block. from underneath, need 9/16th socket and a, which i didn't bring, swivel...it would have been too hard to design a dimple in the firewall for clearance. from the top need a 9/16th open end wrench and, again which i didn't bring, small hands, to work between the firewall and the exhaust/egr tube running to the exhaust manifold...again, it would have been too hard to design a dimple in the firewall for clearance. and when you can finally get your fingers on the bolt after 35 minutes of backing it out 1/2 of a thread at a time, we'll seam the firewall together at just the right spot so you'll see the scabs for a week to remind you why you love working on old cars.
 
Lizooki said:
Daughter had a Dodge Neon. designed by Satan's mother in law.
Timing belt idle pulley bearing locked up.
$14.00 part. 6 hour book, he managed in 4. Hate to see the book rate on the job. A friend who is a tech replaced it.
Had to remove engine mounts and raise the engine high enough for the bolt to clear the fender.
Click to expand...
I know this is true I’ve had to do it to a neon myself
 
jeep-wheelie-haters-gonna-hate.gif
 
Had to change alternator on parents Hyundai. Well found out you have to take the ac out to get alternator out. Idiots.
 
Well if it was easy I wouldn't be making money off all of you idiots who cant hang on to a 10mm socket.:flipoff2:
 
Lizooki said:
Daughter had a Dodge Neon. designed by Satan's mother in law.
Timing belt idle pulley bearing locked up.
$14.00 part. 6 hour book, he managed in 4. Hate to see the book rate on the job. A friend who is a tech replaced it.
Had to remove engine mounts and raise the engine high enough for the bolt to clear the fender.
Click to expand...

There's a lot of FWD cars that have an engine mount inside the loop of the timing belt, so removing an engine mount is common.
 
UTfball68 said:
Waits for ‘Blame the bean counters that tie the engineers hands’
Click to expand...
I came in here planning to say that, but after reading the stupidity, id say that lies squarely on whoever designed it. But if you'd like, we can stretch it out, blame it on disjointed design groups with competing metrics, and resolve that down to the damn bean bean counters :D
 
Lizooki said:
Daughter had a Dodge Neon. designed by Satan's mother in law.
Timing belt idle pulley bearing locked up.
$14.00 part. 6 hour book, he managed in 4. Hate to see the book rate on the job. A friend who is a tech replaced it.
Had to remove engine mounts and raise the engine high enough for the bolt to clear the fender.
Click to expand...

Same engine in my PT loser. Same reason its sitting in the yard with a broken timing belt, I simply dont have the time to deal with that mess.
 
Or blame it on the general public, who want AC, heat, power steering and power brakes, ABS, 15 airbags, all the while getting 250 hp with ever increasing emission standards, able to go 80mph while blasting horrific music on bald tires while texting and still be somewhat safe with 16 airbags and radar and cameras....oh, and make it as cheap as possible. Turbo charger AND supercharger on the same engine? Why yes!

Cars could be cheap, simple, reliable, well organized, and easy to work on, but that wouldn't sell to the mass morons.

But yes, putting any wear item in obscure places is idiotic.

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jeepinmatt said:
I came in here planning to say that, but after reading the stupidity, id say that lies squarely on whoever designed it. But if you'd like, we can stretch it out, blame it on disjointed design groups with competing metrics, and resolve that down to the damn bean bean counters :D
Click to expand...

This could be a thread all by itself, but Ive said it in various ways in multiple threads, my experience in the big business manufacturing world is, good designs don’t yield repeat customers. And the focus is more life time return on a given widget than just a single sale, what kinda residuals can that widget get me year over year until the point it’s been designed to fail.
 
My father had a 97 Buick century that required the removal of a steel gusset from the fender to the radiator And pulling the washer fluid tank to replace the battery. The problem was the washer tank couldn’t be pulled without screwing up and breaking those push through plastic plugs that held it in place. I stared at it for awhile and couldn’t see any other exit short of pulling a fender off to get to the batt. Seemed nuts to me.
 
Wife had an Intrepid that had to have the tire removed to change the battery. To change the cam position sensor you had to remove the wiper blades. True.
 
One of my best friends since 2nd grade was the lead mechanic at Cummins atlantic in GSO..now service writer and now just Cummins.
He use to bitch all the time about dumbass engineers (while looking at me :lol:) and how they would design engines in places never intended to be serviced (see any pusher motorhome)
Honestly I think ANY engineer or designer of ANY kind should be forced to work their first 2 years in the assembly or servicing of what they design, so they can hate the prick that put them in that position to begin with. So they themselves dont end up getting cussed like that down the road
 
benmack1 said:
My father had a 97 Buick century that required the removal of a steel gusset from the fender to the radiator And pulling the washer fluid tank to replace the battery. The problem was the washer tank couldn’t be pulled without screwing up and breaking those push through plastic plugs that held it in place. I stared at it for awhile and couldn’t see any other exit short of pulling a fender off to get to the batt. Seemed nuts to me.
Click to expand...

Buick - the red headed stepchild of GM....
 
A look behind the curtain from an engineer who was thrust into a management position he didn’t want. When the economy crashed in 2007/2008, all the higher ups wanted was “value engineered” products. Pull as much cost out of the product as possible. Reduce wall thickness, save material, put shit in ridiculous places as long as it reduced the manufacturing cost and have every decision you made questioned and questioned again because enough money wasn’t taken out. I walked out of design reviews and told them to tell me how much money I had to work with because apparently they weren’t satisfied with the design from the team they placed so much trust in to design the product in the first place.

Fast forward a few years when the economy is improving and the stock holders don’t care about value engineering but want more organic growth through new product development. I made sure my team over engineered every damn thing. Give me a huge factor of safety. Make that shit resistant to anything, but keep on the timeline and budget be damned.

At design reviews, it was predictable. Screw the project cost, no questions on the actual design, just bring the project in according to the timeline. I made sure that whoever took my position had enough fat in the product to cut costs by a ridiculous amount and still have a comfortable factor of safety, when the time came down the road.

So glad that place is far in the rear view mirror, but obviously still harbor some resentment.
 
2010 toy sienna radiator replacement.. supposed to discharge AC, remove front bumper.. nah. It can be done without doing all that.. do have to remove an elbow from the radiator to remove or install it though. Stupid.

Surprised no one mentioned Jeep 4.0 crank sensors. Or one piece rear main seals.
 
a_kelley said:
2010 toy sienna radiator replacement.. supposed to discharge AC, remove front bumper.. nah. It can be done without doing all that.. do have to remove an elbow from the radiator to remove or install it though. Stupid.

Surprised no one mentioned Jeep 4.0 crank sensors. Or one piece rear main seals.
Click to expand...
Jeep 4.0 rear mains are 2pcs. Crank position sensor is a pain but easy with a ratchet wrench.
 
F360 timing belt needs the interior of the car removed.
F355 needs the engine out for belt service.
I’ve blocked out what it takes to change ac compressor on a gallardo. I had to remove the engine of a gallardo to change the serpentine belt.
Lambo is the worst in engineering for maintenance. 6 or 7 plugs to drain the oil. After taking off the belly pans that are secured with 80 fasteners ranging from t20 t25 t30 10mm.


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